Washing Statue Wanderlust – Chapter 5

YUKI

I take Arai’s advice and go to Kyoto. I’m twenty-one years old and completely capable of taking care of myself, so I should go! Yes, I should definitely go. Really. I need to tell myself this over and over again in order to pack my bag and get out the door.

The train ride is exciting for me, watching the countryside zip by in a blur. I’ve never taken the shinkansen before, so this one little trip is full of brand-new events for me. I snap photos of Koharu and my friends along for the ride so I can show Arai when I get home.

After a long day in Kyoto, walking around to see all the temples, eating wonderful food, and being careful about checking my blood sugar and injecting my insulin, I’m glad I took the risk to leave the city and do something for myself. The temples are beautiful, the streets are quaint, and everything has a hush about it we don’t experience in Tokyo. I love this city, and I want to come back again someday.

Everyone we’re traveling with wants to go to a late dinner, and I begin to worry. I usually eat early to help balance my glucose responses, but I decide I should be fine. It’s just one evening. I eat an early supper while everyone is at a bar having drinks, and I join them later.

I crash hard at the ryokan, falling asleep around 2am which is so late for me, I can’t do anything but sleep. My body aches from all the walking and my feet throb until I drift off to the sounds of a whirring fan and deep breaths of my friends sleeping around me.

At dawn, I regret all my decisions of the previous night. I wake from sleep, groggy, and so thirsty I could drink a river. My glucose levels are off the charts when I check them. I inject my morning insulin, but it takes a long time for my body to balance out.

After checking my ketones in the bathroom and finding them normal, I lie in bed and wait to go for a walk, which can help stabilize my body and keep me from getting sicker. When the time is right, I’ll get up, get dressed, and head out, but until then I sink into the mattress and close my eyes as my fellow travel mates sleep peacefully.

I’m proud of myself for leaving Tokyo without the Arai Kannon statue, but maybe this isn’t how my life is supposed to go.

Maybe I will always be unlucky no matter how hard I try.

I want to be normal and the same as everyone else, but, with everything I have to contend with, I admit it’s just not possible.

—-

On the train ride home, I sit next to Koharu and watch the countryside blur by in the opposite direction towards Tokyo.

“Are you glad you went to Kyoto? I’m proud of you for making the trip.” Koharu squeezes my arm and smiles at me, resting her head back on the seat.

“I love Kyoto, but I think that’s the last time I leave Tokyo for some time.” I pluck at the fabric of my shorts and check the time. 2:34pm. Almost time for me to eat again.

Koharu frowns. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“It was, and you know it. I’m the complete loser who had to eat an early dinner like a grandma, go to bed early, and wake up early the next day. I’m the opposite of all our friends. I learned my lesson the first night, and I’m sorry you’re coming home with me today instead of tomorrow. I feel awful about it.”

“Don’t,” she says, patting my arm. “I didn’t want you to travel home alone, and I didn’t want to stay any longer anyway. It’s fine.”

I sip from my water bottle. “I’ve been thinking a lot about the statue. She encouraged me to go on this trip and told me I’d be fine…”

“You’re not mad her, are you?”

“No. This is my own fault. I should have stuck to my routine even though it would have made me very uncool.”

Koharu laughs. “Only you would use the term ‘uncool’ to describe yourself. Most people don’t know you’re diabetic unless you tell them. You could just not say anything.”

“That’s all fine and good until someone walks in on me injecting insulin and they think I’m a drug addict.”

Koharu’s mouth twists to the side. “I forgot about that.”

“Yeah.” I sigh and push myself into the chair, trying to forget the high school scandal that nearly broke me for good. “I’ll never forget it.”

I take a deep breath and blow it out slowly, cooling my embarrassed cheeks with my frigid fingers. I still get upset when I remember what happened.

“Anyway, I’m glad I went to Kyoto despite everything, and I should thank Arai in some way.”

Koharu laughs and rolls her eyes. I must be the weirdest friend ever. “What did you have in mind?”

“If we can’t take the statue to see the world, then maybe we can bring the world to her? I don’t know, maybe it’s a stupid idea…”

“No no no! I like it. I bet we can come up with something. We can ask some friends online to send us stuff!”

I frown and look up as the shinkansen attendants make their way through the car. Time for a snack!

“That could be really expensive.”

Koharu thinks, tapping her index finger against her cheek. “We could post on some message boards and see if people will help?”

“Ugh, my English is horrible. How will we message them back if they don’t speak Japanese?”

Koharu’s shoulders droop. “You’re right. Mine’s horrible too. I was hoping it would get better in college. We need more foreign friends.”

I sigh as I reach for my wallet. “I’ll have to come up with something soon.”