Tilli’s Second Chance – Chapter 8

Underneath the soft glow of paper lanterns, I step into Izakaya Tanaka alongside Kaito, Hiroko, and Riku. With all the commotion inside, both Ivan and Max decide to stay out front. I lean over and stroke Ivan’s back before promising him a treat when we return home.

I know this place well since Myra works here, and I come in often enough. Mrs. Tanaka is at the bar tonight, serving drinks, and the kitchen is hopping. I try to peek inside when the door opens, but I don’t see Myra. The hostess, Sara, brings us straight to a table along the rear wall.

“Nice place. I’ve never been here,” Hiroko says, gesturing to Riku to take the chair next to the wall on her side. I sit beside Kaito, the scent of his cologne mingling with the aroma of grilled meats and hot rice. My heart flutters as I glance at him, taking in his tall stature and messy hair. Yep, I’ve got it bad. Head over heels.

As we settle into our seats, Riku leans back, eyeing me with a sly grin. “So, Tilli, I heard you like to reference old spaceship designs to make something new? How avant-garde.”

I roll my eyes, trying to brush off his snide remark, and thank the waiter when he brings glasses of water.

“That’s why you were in the archives today, right?” he prods.

I sip my water. “Just looking for inspiration. You should try it sometime.”

“Inspiration?” He scoffs. “I’m inspired all the time without having to steal someone else’s work.”

What an asshole. Still assuming I’m a cheater after all this time.

I groan and look at my watch. “We’ve been seated for all of five seconds and you’re already starting on me? Give it a break, will ya?”

I huff and try to suppress my frustration as I focus on the menu. Maybe if I call out what a jerk he is, he’ll stop. But my appetite wanes as Riku continues his subtle undermining.

“From what I’ve seen,” he says, continuing to prod me, “your designs could use a bit more… refinement. But then again, maybe you’re not cut out for this line of work.”

I set the menu down. “How would you know anything about my designs?”

He lifts one corner of his mouth. “We all saw the portfolios that were submitted, yours included. I suggested we pass you over, and I wasn’t the only one. Too bad I was outvoted.”

“Riku, that’s enough,” Hiroko interjects. She shoots me a supportive look, but Riku’s words have already burrowed themselves in my mind, echoing the self-doubt that has haunted me through countless failed ventures.

I know he’s wrong, and I know he’s being an asshole.

Yet…

“Is there a problem?” Kaito asks, his voice steady and calm. “Tilli is working as hard as anyone on our team.” He meets Riku’s gaze, waiting for an answer.

“Of course. No problem,” Riku replies smoothly, feigning innocence. “Just making conversation.”

The sizzling aroma of grilled yakitori fills the air, but I barely notice it as I try to brush off Riku’s comments. I understood this was going to be hard, trying to get into this inner circle after such a long time away. I was hoping the majority of them would have forgotten about the cheating accusation and moved on. But it appears that hope was wrong. I may never escape my past now.

As Hiroko and Kaito casually discuss the menu and what foods they like, I think back on that awful time, the moment I was accused of cheating. That sickening, empty gut feeling consumed me for months after. It took a long time to shake it.

And now it’s only taken one comment from Riku to bring it all back.

We order food, and saké arrives quickly. Thank the gods. I finish my first cup in two gulps and fill it up again.

Riku sips his saké, a smug grin plastered on his face. “You know, Tilli, it’s no secret that your father pulled some strings so you could take the entrance exams again. It seems that, without him, you would still be a nobody. It’s a good thing you’ve got Dear Ol’ Daddy to get you in.”

“Riku,” Hiroko warns. Her multicolored hair catches the warm glow of the overhead lanterns like a vibrant halo.

“So…” I start, pushing down the self-doubt that’s gnawing at me. “You think I’m here because of my dad?”

“Hey, I’m just stating the facts.” Riku’s voice drips with insincerity.

“I’m sure your test scores speak for themselves.” Hiroko’s eyes lock on mine, offering reassurance.

She doesn’t have to say this. She’s actually my competitor, and it would be foolish of her to invest too much of her emotions or support in me.

“Thanks.” I’m grateful to her even if I don’t deserve her kindness.

But Riku isn’t finished yet.

“Speaking of fathers,” he says, leaning in closer, his jealousy evident in his narrowed eyes. “Tilli’s dad promised to help my family find housing through his non-profit, remember? And guess what? We were homeless for years because his organization failed us.”

“I had nothing to do with that.” I can barely push the words past the lump in my throat.

“It’s still your family, right?” Riku challenges, a sinister glint in his eyes.

I open my mouth to defend my family, but Kaito butts in.

“Riku, you need to stop,” Kaito says, his voice laced with anger. “This is not the time or place for this conversation.”

“Fine.” Riku takes a deep swig of his saké. “Let’s just enjoy our dinner, shall we?”

“Thanks,” I whisper to Kaito, and he nods in response.

My eyes widen the minute his fingers brush mine under the table. Wait. What’s happening here?

I glance at Kaito, and he flashes a quick grin at me. Uh oh. I’m a goner. Cue the fireworks and soundtrack swelling, thanks for playing. Suddenly, the only thing I can focus on is how much I want to tackle him into the nearest utility closet. Riku who? It’s a little hard to concentrate when Kaito’s thumb is tracing distracting circles on my palm. Can someone turn down the thermostat in here?

Note to self: sarcasm and romance don’t mix. I’m a mess. The only thing that can save me now is a freezing cold bucket of logic, and I’m not quite ready to return to reason just yet.

“Kaito,” I say hesitantly, hoping to pull him into the conversation and put Riku’s behavior behind us. “What will you be doing this coming weekend?”

His fingers slip through mine and my heart races. Somebody stop this rollercoaster… or don’t. I kind of never want to get off.

“I think we’ll be at the office, right?” he says, squeezing my fingers.

“Yes. I believe you’re right.” My face is on fire, and the back of my neck sweats. Damn. Hiding my attraction is impossible now.

“We’re going to work through the weekend too, aren’t we, Hiroko?” Riku asks, leaning away from Hiroko to see her expression. “Hard work gets people to space. There’s no cheating that.”

My fingers tighten around Kaito’s.

“Easy,” he mumbles at me, and I relax even though I’m boiling inside.

Riku’s words sting like needles piercing my skin, each one bringing up memories I’d rather forget. This fucking asshole just won’t let it go. My mind races through the list of failures I’ve tried to bury deep within myself — the boutique that never made it past the first season, the bakery that crumbled under the weight of mounting debts.

I let go of Kaito’s hand as a depressive wave crests over me. Riku may be an ass, but he’s not far from the truth.

I am a failure. What the hell am I even doing here?

“Maybe you’re right,” I say, lifting my chin and looking at Riku.

“Oh yeah?” Riku raises his eyebrows. “About what?”

I glance at Kaito, and his smile is gone, his face pale.

“Everything. After all, anyone who has failed as many times as I have must be destined for failure in everything they do, right?”

“Exactly.” Riku nods. “I’m glad you’re starting to see the truth.”

I laugh and shake my head.

“I mean, I know you’re nothing but a petty and jealous bully,” I snap, unable to hold back any longer. “And you can’t stand the fact that despite my setbacks, I still have passion and drive. But you’re right, Riku. I’m destined to fail at this. I don’t even know what I’m doing here.”

“That’s not true,” Hiroko insists.

“It is.”

“It is not,” Kaito says, his eyes meeting mine.

But I shake my head. I am a failure.

“Great! Then I suppose you’re out of the program.” Riku’s smile stretches from here to the moons and back. “I’ll expect your forfeit letter tomorrow on Professor Nishimura’s desk.” He dusts off his hands like he’s done with me, the dirty cheater.

“Enough!” Kaito shouts, slamming his hands on the table, causing the dishes to rattle. “I’m tired of your constant competitiveness and holier-than-thou attitude. How dare you bully Tilli into submission!”

Riku blinks. The restaurant falls silent, all eyes turning towards our table. My cheeks burn with embarrassment. Pretty much everyone here knows me.

“We’re supposed to be a team, working together,” he stresses, like Riku is some three-year-old who doesn’t know any better. “And instead, it’s always you against everyone else.”

When no one responds, Riku sits back and laughs.

“Bravo!” He claps his hands slowly and sarcastically. “Quite the performance. Are you two already fucking?” His eyes scan me, up and down. “You work fast.”

That’s it.

I pick up my glass of water and toss it in his face. All the air in the room is sucked away as everyone in a three meter vicinity gasps. My heart stops and my hearing rings. The water splashes across Riku’s face, drenching his shirt and the table, and Hiroko jumps away. He sputters, clearly taken aback.

“Fuck you,” I say, surprised at myself. This is language my sisters use, not me. “You want me gone? I’m gone.”

His expression darkens into an angry scowl as he wipes the water from his eyes.

“You stupid bitch,” he growls, lurching to his feet. “You’ll pay for that.”

Before I can react, Riku’s hand lashes out, striking me hard across the face. Pain explodes in my cheek as I stumble backwards, knocking over my chair.

“Hey!” Hiroko cries, leaping to her feet. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“What is happening here? In my restaurant?” Mrs. Tanaka is suddenly at the table, looking between Riku and me.

“She assaulted me,” Riku says, pointing at me.

I nod, my fingers trembling as I touch the bruised skin of my cheek.

“I… I…” I stumble over my protestations as I back away from the table.

“I think I know who the bully is here,” Mrs. Tanaka says, her eyes on Riku.

He holds up his hands and gestures to his wet shirt. “Everyone here saw her attack me first. She’s lucky I won’t press charges.”

I have failed once again, and I will not stick around to find out just how badly. My feet move of their own accord as I weave through the tables. Ean was right. I’m my own worst enemy.

“Tilli!” Kaito calls out.

“Someone get Myra,” I hear Mrs. Tanaka say as I reach the front.

I push through the door and step out into the cool night air, stupid, childish tears streaming down my face. The pain in my cheek is throbbing, and my fleeting euphoria of a connection with Kaito is long gone. I can’t believe I let Riku get the better of me once again. I thought I was stronger than this.

I stumble down the street, not sure where to go or what to do. I should go home, but Dad will be angry if he sees me like this.

Ivan follows me, his steps steady and sure. “What happened, Till? Do I need to scratch someone?”

“Wait, Tilli!” Kaito calls out, his voice laced with concern as he pushes through the door behind me. Max stands up and trots along by his side.

“Kaito, please,” I say, turning around and walking away. “I just want to be alone right now.”

“Too bad,” he replies, striding up beside me. He stops and puts his body in my path. I can feel his eyes on me as he takes in my disheveled appearance. He reaches out his hand and gently touches my bruised cheek, bringing a wave of warmth that spreads through my body.

“Don’t give up,” he pleads softly. His messy hair falls into his eyes. “You’re stronger than you think, and what I’ve seen all week in the study room was enough to convince me you’re onto something.” He pauses for a moment, then adds, “No matter how many times Riku tries to bring you down, don’t let him win. He’s an asshole.”

He takes my hand in his and squeezes it tight. His eyes lock with mine, and the sincerity in them is unmistakable.

“Please.”

For a brief moment, I feel the weight of defeat lifting off my chest. His warmth washes over me, replacing the chill of the night air.

“Kaito,” I whisper, my voice barely audible. I should argue with him, but I’m too transfixed.

He smiles and leans in close. “I’m going to kiss you,” he whispers.

“Yes. I think you’d better.”

He chuckles as his lips brush against mine, at first hesitant and then going for the gold. I melt against him, my arms wrapping around his neck as his hands slide down to my waist. The warmth between us grows, and I forget about my bruised cheek, about Riku, about everything except the feel of Kaito’s lips on mine.

Oh wow. I was just fantasizing about this yesterday, and it’s actually happening! Go brain!

Ivan lets out a disgruntled meow, and Kaito pulls away, grinning down at me. “I think Ivan’s getting jealous,” he says, nodding towards the cat.

“He’s always jealous.”

“Don’t quit,” he insists, and I look away.

I don’t think I can go back to the I.A. after what happened tonight.

“Tilli!” Myra comes racing out of Izakaya Tanaka. “What happened? Are you all right?”

She slides between Kaito and me, oblivious to the situation.

“Did that animal attack you?” she asks, grabbing my shoulders. “I swear to the heavens, Riku Saito better watch his back. He’s been asking for a beating for years.”

I chuckle and my cheek burns. Ow. I’ve never been slapped before. I can’t believe that just happened.

Myra tugs at my arm. “Come on. Let me take you back to my place. Mrs. Tanaka gave me the rest of the night off. We’ll put a cold pack on that, and you’ll be good to go back to work tomorrow.”

But I don’t want to go to work tomorrow. I don’t want to face anyone again.

As Myra pulls me down the street, I look over my shoulder at Kaito. He’s standing there, watching us go, his expression sad.

Despite the kiss, I wish this night had never happened.