The Fate of Shin-Osaka – Chapter 2

The rain starts late in the dinner shift and continues to fall well into the hours past closing. I’m in charge of all the cleaning and restocking every night, and I’m often in the kitchen alone. Well, just me and the bugs. Kotashi doesn’t stick around once the last customer has been served. He took the job because Rin promised him it would only be cooking. I would do everything else. Gina, his wife, never comes here. She refuses to come this far into Matsubara Ward.

Streams from the underground forums play across my view as I scrub the kitchen counter. Aimi is out there, reporting from the battleground almost every single day. She published the video of me reminiscing about Orihimé last week.

“What do you miss most about home?” she asked me.

It’s weird watching myself, knowing that body is dead, and everyone believes I’m gone for good.

“That’s easy. My quiet apartment on the family estate. I was always safe and secure there. My bed was my favorite place to spend time, reading, eating, laughing with friends. My best friend, Ayamé, and I would watch old Earth dramas on my bed after school. Dad would pop up popcorn, and our house chef, Germaine, always delivered a tray to my room full of junk food and snacks. It was such a simple thing to do. I definitely took it for granted.”

Mmmm, popcorn and snacks. Chocolate candies, fruit sours, and rice crackers. I remember how those taste. The memory has to be enough.

I turned off the hunger protocols the first day I tried to eat anything in this body. Aoi Uma cut corners wherever they could, and taste wasn’t built-in like smell. A sense of smell can detect smoke, rotted food, or a dirty diaper, all things in service of the human masters. Taste? Besides testing rocks, it’s superfluous. It’s a vital component to enjoying food though, so I stopped that. Looks like I took eating for granted as well.

Once the work is done, I step out into the alley behind the noodle shop and dump the trash into the UPN, Underground Parcel Network, pickup. It’s whisked off to who knows where to be dealt with. Lightning flashes across the sky, and a peal of thunder follows it. The rain falls heavier, blanketing everything in a deluge.

“Great,” I mumble.

I consider my options. I had planned on walking the ward after charging my battery, avoiding the pick-pockets… and avoiding Rin while I was at it. But now the butsues are shut down, and I don’t want to deal with being wet. I technically don’t need to shower, even though I ‘sweat,’ so I avoid that too because I hate looking at this body. I often wonder what Saki thought of being in a strange body, but I’m sure she got used to it quickly. She is so much better at this than I am.

Another round of thunder echoes through the sky, rumbling the windows and doors. Okay, fine. I surrender. No walking. No avoiding my life. I’ll go up to the apartment for the night.

The back stairs give us access from the noodle shop to the first four floors above that house my friends and family. The rest of the building belongs to renters. They have their own entry on the opposite side with a lobby, stairwell, and elevators. I keep my steps quiet as I make my way down the hallway to Rin’s apartment at the end. He argued we would need a two-bedroom unit, a larger space since we’d host people all the time for meetings. I store clothes in the second bedroom, but that’s about it for my presence in the place. There’s nothing in there that used to be mine.

Except for Rin.

I’m quiet with the door. It’s past midnight, and if Rin is asleep, I don’t want to bother him. But the light is on in the living room, and Rin is on the couch reading. He looks up from his tablet and reaches for his sword.

“It’s me.” I raise a hand in a half wave. He pauses and sits back. “Sorry. It’s raining, and I didn’t want to be out.” When he stays silent, I capitulate with a sigh. “I’ll go.” I can always just sit in the noodle shop’s kitchen all night.

“No, wait,” he says, jumping off the couch. “Don’t go.”

I let my hand drop from the door and turn back to face him. In the last few months, he hasn’t changed much. He’s still shaving his head, still in great shape. He’s barefooted and wearing his pajama pants. A small ache gathers in my chest. I want to reverse time and start over again. I would not be in this situation if I had just gone to the moon base from the beginning.

“Come and sit with me a moment,” Rin says, gesturing to the couch.

I nod and leave my shoes at the door before I cross the room to sit on the opposite end of the couch. I try not to sit too close to him anymore. His skin crawls whenever he’s near me, and I hate the rejection almost as much as I hate being an android. I’m a useless and unloved android now. I want to destroy myself and just get it over with.

Tucking my left leg under me, I sink back into the corner.

“I’ve been thinking about our next mission, and I have a suggestion. I’d like you to hear me out.”

“Please go ahead.” I hate it when we start conversations this way. We used to joke and smile and flirt. Now, it’s all business. I keep my eyes down and pluck at the fabric of my pants. I watch the data that my skin picks up from my sensors and wonder what that’s like for actual androids.

He pauses. “Can I get you a drink or something?”

“No, thanks. I had my glass of water when I finished cleaning.” I only need to keep my water reserves filled. During downtimes at work and home, I place my hand on the charger to top off my battery. I’ve never seen my charge drop below ninety percent, and I don’t think I want to. I have no idea what happens when an android’s battery dies.

Again, Rin pauses and gazes into the kitchen. I wait. Back when I was a human, I would take these quiet moments to study him — his heartbeat, the lines around his eyes, the pulse of his irises. I knew every part of him and the way he felt under my fingertips.

“I miss eating meals with Yumi.”

It’s my turn to sit still.

“We shared this meal together after Shiroi Nami released me from being a hostage that was just so… so perfect.”

I close my eyes for a long moment and let the melancholy coat me from head to toe, not only for that bygone meal we had together but also for my death. Rin blames himself for everything that happened. I watched the surveillance videos from the fight that ended me. He held me as I was dying in his arms. Even though the footage is burned into my memory banks, I rewatch it, hoping the scene will change or that I’ll finally be able to hear what Gen said to me.

Rin doesn’t want to believe that I’m in Saki’s body. He has moments where he remembers, and then…

“I remember,” I say, breaking the spell.

His eyes turn to me.

“Yeah, I opened that box a few weeks ago.” The boxes in my brain where I keep my memories. Some are easy to open. Some are more difficult. And some are painful. “So, what’s your proposal?”

Business, Yumi. Keep it business.

“I’d like you to consider changing your appearance for your upcoming mission to retrieve your body. If you looked different — significantly different — I think you’d be able to get in and out with no trouble.”

“Hmmm, yes. Gen and Narumi know what Saki looks like. He knows what you and Kazuo look like. Narumi hacked me before. But are we talking just a disguise here… or?”

Rin turns his tablet around and sets it on the couch between us. On the screen is the information for a Matsubara Ward android repair shop. All-Hour Service. Certified Android Alteration Surgery. Low Cost! Payment Plans!

“Narumi can’t hack you anymore. Isao took care of that. You and all the other androids made before the Three Laws upgrade are off the update network now, so you’ll be even more human. We can get in, but only if we change your appearance.”

My eyes zero in on the video showing an android being surgically altered. Ugh. No.

But maybe yes.

If I don’t look like Saki anymore, will Rin’s feelings change? Hmmm, that’s a thought.

“I’ve always wanted to be a redhead.”

He huffs a short laugh. “Have you really?”

“Well, yeah.” This time I laugh. “The last Chief Administrator of Nishikyō back on Earth was a redhead, and she was so striking. I always wanted to be just like her.” Who didn’t? She was the star of the colonization, the woman who held everything together. I cried when she passed away three years ago.

“You’ll go for it, then?”

I shrug. “Sure. Why not? It’s not real surgery. Altering an android is nothing like surgery on humans.” And maybe there are other upgrades I can get? Yeah, I like this idea.

A lot.

Rin’s stare pierces me with its intensity, his eyes locked on mine. I can feel his thoughts running, checking, analyzing every reaction. But my emotional governor keeps my feelings in check. He won’t find much behind the facade I’m willing to show him tonight.

“And, let’s be honest,” I continue, “it’s not as if I have anything to lose at this point.”

He winces. “I don’t think having a death wish is the best motivation.”

“How can I have a death wish if I’m already dead?”

“Point taken.”

“Look, you all have squandered my abilities for the last couple of months, anyway. You’ve got me waitressing when I should be sneaking into enemy territory and assassinating those who have wronged us.”

Rin’s eyebrows climb. “You would kill in cold blood?”

“This is Yumi, remember? I would kill those who have hurt my loved ones and me. In a heartbeat.”

He swallows hard. I feel as if he’s looking into my soul and asking, “Are you real?” No. I’m not.

“And the only way this goes badly is if my android body is totally destroyed or captured. Even if they rip off my limbs, my memories will be intact. Even if everything fails, you still have my backup. Come on. I’m the perfect person for the job.”

Rin nods. “You’re stored with other wealthy people who froze their bodies when they died, so the facility is still up and running. We can get your frozen body and have your ovaries extracted. I have someone who can help us with the task and storage of the eggs.”

It sounds like a solid plan… probably too solid.

“You sound far too confident. I’m sure something will go wrong. Something always does. But this doesn’t solve our Aoi Uma problem.”

“Which one?” This makes him smile, and the ache in my chest grows a little more.

“The one in which they’re taking over Shin-Osaka, and we either need to fight for this city or escape it,” I remind him. “I’m tired of watching this city being burned for no good reason. The sound of sirens and the shouts of people running? They’re burned into my memories now.”

He hums. “I don’t like the idea of escaping and leaving them to it.”

“Aoi Uma controls too much of the city, and more androids arrive daily. We may have no choice.”

We sit in silence as rain pummels the windows and thunder rolls across the city. I don’t want to run either, but I have to wonder what’s next for this city and if sticking around will be worth it. It might not be, but I can’t tell yet.

I check the time, and it’s way past midnight.

“I don’t want to keep you up,” I say, tearing him out of his thoughts. “You need your sleep.”

“Right.” He blinks a few times and presses his fingers to his eyes. “It was a long day.”

I have no idea what he does most days. I assume he’s out gathering intelligence or whatever. I don’t ask anymore.

I can close my eyes and replay the last three months as I watched the light fade from his eyes. It had been a slow process, but I knew Rin was slipping away from me, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. In the beginning, I was determined to fight for him, fight for us. But it only took a week to realize that he would never be intimate with me again in this body. There’s too much baggage, too much history. And since there were no other bodies to download to, this is it. The android surgery is my only way out, for my relationship with Rin and our mission.

“I’m just going to grab a glass of water before I settle in here.” My mouth waters; I want to taste him so bad.

“I kind of wonder why we even bothered getting a two-bedroom unit,” he grumbles as I walk away.

“Not my decision,” I reply. “Like most of this.” I open the fridge and pour water from the pitcher into a glass. “I’m an android now. You could have stuck me in a closet, and I would have been fine.”

I return to the couch and stand next to him.

“Yu —” He sighs, my name on the tip of his tongue. “Of course, I’m not comfortable sticking you in a closet.”

Rin is right there, within arm’s length of me, and all I want to do is rewind time to when I could touch him, hold him, consume him. If I were human, my vitals would spike, my heart rate would increase from seventy beats per minute to one-twenty or more, and my skin would flush by five degrees. All precise indicators of desire and arousal, not programmed into this android, but part of my consciousness. I would give anything to run my fingers over his head and feel the soft down of fine hairs as they tickled my hand. Anything.

“Can you…” I’m surprised by the catch in my throat, the hesitation in my words. It’s the most emotion I’ve felt in months. “Can you close your eyes and hold still? Just for a moment?”

Rin turns his eyes up to me, a question ready to ask.

“Please,” I whisper.

I’m asking the impossible, and I know it. Rin never keeps his back to me. I’m always in his line of sight if I’m around. He’s afraid I’ll snap and kill like all the other androids he’s ever had to cut down.

“Sorry,” I say, stepping back from him. The fear in his eyes is too much. “Never mind.”

“I, uh…” Rin pops up from the couch, clutches his tablet to his chest, and backs away from me. “I’m going to head to bed. There are other things to discuss, but they can wait. Night.”

He grabs his sword, heads to his bedroom, and locks the door. The click of the lock rings through the apartment, the death knell of our relationship.

“I’m sorry, Yumi. He’s not ready,” Saki says.

“He’ll never be ready. I need to get rid of this body as soon as possible, or I’ll never win him back.”

I sigh as I sit down on the couch and prepare to spend the nighttime hours poking at the boxes in my brain.