Summer Haikus – Chapter 26

The alarm beeps at 6:30am, and I roll over and knock the alarm clock halfway across the room. I barely slept, too excited and nervous for my day and date with Masa. Sitting up in bed, I shift the sleeping mask off my face and am greeted with dreary skies and rain again. I groan and drop back in bed again. I’m getting tired of all the rain.

I wait for Masa outside the station under a clear umbrella with our cups of coffee ready to go. From under a dark blue umbrella, he saunters up to me, a smile on his face.

“Hey there,” he says, leaning over and taking his coffee from my outstretched hand. “Did you sleep at all last night?”

“Nope.” I take a sip as he laughs.

“Me neither. I wish it wasn’t raining so I could hold your hand.”

“Miss me already?” I wink at him as we head towards the bakery.

“It’s strange that we went two years spending all our time together, yet I just really want to be close to you now.” Masa looks down at his shoes splashing through the puddles on the sidewalks. I’m sure if his hands weren’t full, he’d be jamming them in his pockets right about now.

I stop a block from the bakery on an empty sidewalk and wave his umbrella away with the flick of my wrist. Holding mine above our heads, I rise on my toes and kiss him — nothing obscene since this is Japan after all. But the subtle pressure of his lips on mine and the rush of his breath over my cheeks sends shivers from my fingertips to my toes.

“Better?” I ask, my lips an inch from his.

“Yeah. You’re like a drug. I need my fix now that I’ve had a taste.”

“Will you compose a haiku about that?”

“Sure.”

I raise the umbrella back over my head as he sips his coffee and thinks, gazing off down the sidewalk. The lanterns and neon signs are reflected in the puddles all the way down the block, a mirrored shadow world hiding below the one we currently inhabit.

—-

“Addictive kisses

Shared on a rainy morning — 

My coffee grows cold.”

—-

“Ha. Perfect. I love your haikus.”

“Thanks,” he says, shrugging his shoulders, but a blush colors his temples. It’s adorable the way my compliments actually mean something to him. My chest warms in the hot, humid weather. I’ve never had this before with a guy, where my opinion matters. Masa has always valued what I thought, and we used to stay up till dawn talking or debating something we felt passionate about. This is different, though. He is suddenly taking my praise to heart.

The day runs smoothly, especially now that I have a new fishmonger whose wife is a joy to work with. Masa and I work side by side, carrying boxes of goods to the ryokan kitchen, taking stock of the office supplies, and helping Reiko at the front desk with the slips for the tourists coming in the next few days. It’ll be a full ryokan this weekend. It’s July fourth in the States and right before Tanabata, the Japanese summer holiday that takes place on July seventh every year. I’m sure I’ll be on my feet all weekend so I skip a scheduled run today. Anyway, I don’t want to be exhausted for my date tonight.

While I’m working, I keep my mind off of Masa and instead form a mental checklist of ryokan items I want to discuss with Mom when I see her next. I want to suggest website updates, a new computer for the front desk, and some tour and workshop ideas I’ve had brewing. I want to be helpful, and I hope my ideas are not too presumptuous. It would be remiss of me not to mention them, though I’m not counting on my mom to listen too closely. This is her business, not mine.

Around six o’clock, I change into a black and gray striped skirt and V-neck, short-sleeve black top in the employee bathroom while freshening up at one of the sinks. The door opens and Reiko comes in, smiling at me in the mirror.

“You look nice. I never see you in a skirt.” She washes her hands at the sink, humming and smiling. “You must be going out tonight.”

“I am,” I reply, pulling my makeup bag out of my messenger bag, opening it, and dusting my face with powder. Nothing heavy because it’s still hot and muggy outside.

Reiko dries her hands under the dryer while watching me in the mirror. Swiping my black eye gel pen across my lids, I exact a perfect cat eye. I haven’t lost the touch after not practicing for weeks! The swoop makes my eyes look even more Japanese than usual. Since I’m half, my eyes are rounder than most of the people I work around everyday now. Back home, my eyes were out of the norm, and here they are too. If I had to weigh Tokyo against Michigan, though, Tokyo would tip the scales in its favor.

“Is this a date?” Reiko’s eyebrows rise as she watches me apply a coat of mascara.

“Yeah, Masa and I are going out tonight.” I smile and blush but falter as her face drops.

“You’re going out with Masa? But… but we thought he was just a friend.” She pouts and crosses her arms.

“Oh…” Oh shit. My mouth opens a few times ready to defend myself and say, “He’s just a friend,” but that’s not true anymore. “Well, we, ummm… We started dating last week.”

Reiko stands silent, her shoulders slowly falling.

“Is something wrong?” I close the mascara and put it away so I can concentrate on her.

“We’ve all been hoping to ask him out. Ugh, this is just perfect.” Reiko huffs and throws her arms down at her side.

Conflict has never been a good thing for me. “Sorry,” I say, not really meaning it. Come on! Reiko is twenty-five and the other girls who work at the ryokan are around the same age. “We’ve been friends for a long time. It just kind of happened.”

She spins around and grasps the door handle. “All the good ones are taken. He’s handsome, smart, his family is well off, and he speaks English. I’m never going to find a man at this rate if girls like you” — she rakes her eyes up and down my body with a look of mild distaste — “are stealing all the available men.”

“Excuse me?” My voice cracks and squeaks.

Reiko’s eyes widen, and she pales. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I apologize for my rudeness.” She bows and uses the more formal Japanese with me, obviously remembering that I’m her boss, even though I’m younger than her. “Please don’t say anything to your grandfather.”

I stare at her, stunned, as she exits the bathroom. Girls like me? What was that supposed to mean? I place my hands on either side of the sink and take a deep breath. Is it because I’m young? American? The new boss to people older than me? Is it because I’m only half Japanese? Or I’m ugly or not attractive enough to date someone like Masa? I know he’s hot (everyone says as much), but I didn’t think I was that unattractive. The way Reiko looked at me, though, says otherwise.

I glance at myself in the mirror with new perspective. My arms are muscular and my veins stand out down my forearms to my hands. I never paint my nails and keep them short. My hair is fairly plain, wavy in that terribly erratic way that’s not even fashionable. I dig in my messenger bag and find a silver hair clip and pin my bangs away from my face. I don’t wear much jewelry daily — just a silver necklace my mom gave me when I graduated high school and a pair of diamond stud earrings I got from my dad on my sixteenth birthday. I am pretty plain and ordinary.

Fuck. I suddenly hate myself.

I groan as I dig once again for my phone and text Halley. “Am I ugly? Reiko just said something to me and now I’m realizing why guys have never wanted to date me.”

I wait for a moment and hope she’s not at dinner or away from her phone, which would be a miracle since it’s usually attached to her hand at all times.

“What did she say to you?”

“Something like, she’ll never find a guy if girls like me steal all the good ones.”

“What the ever-loving fuck was that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t know. She apologized and ran off before I could confront her.”

“Fuck her. You’re beautiful, fit, and always a great time. Masa likes you for who you are. He always has.”

“Right. I feel like a loser now. More than ever.”

“Where are you right now?” she asks.

“Standing in the bathroom. I was getting ready for my date.”

“Put on your makeup and go have fun with Masa. Reiko is wrong.”

“Ok.”

“What are you doing tonight?”

Masa has said nothing to me about our plans. “I have no fucking clue. I’m nervous as hell.”

“Have a great time! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

“Is there anything you won’t do?”

“Bitch. Stop it. Lol.”

I toss my phone in my bag and dust on a little blush and some pink lip balm while psyching myself up in the mirror.

Masa likes me. He wants to go out with me. He wants to sleep with me. Not anyone else. Not Kae. Not Reiko. Me. His friend for the past two years. The one who has always believed in him and accepted him for who he is.

Me.