Summer Haikus – Chapter 19

I stand off to the side of the stream of people exiting the Kichijōji train station at eight in the morning and crane my neck, standing on my tip-toes, looking for Masa. I didn’t decide till this morning I was going to strike. I got up at seven, told Grandma and Grandpa I wasn’t coming to the ryokan, wasn’t running the errands, and wasn’t going to answer my phone unless they texted me it was an emergency. Grandpa sighed and trudged off to work, and Grandma hugged me. There was no time to tell Masa. I hope he’s not mad at me.

After the initial surge of people trickles to an end, Masa appears at the bottom of the stairs, his hair a mess, his Ray Bans already in place. He’s wearing some light green printed tee I’ve never seen before and black cotton shorts with flip flops.

“Hey, Isa,” he says, smiling and walking to me. We have come to a silent agreement that we’re not going to talk about what happened on Saturday night at the banquet, and yet, it’s all I can think about — his soft touch as he dragged his fingers up my arm or the way he held me after massaging my shoulders. I groan when I remember throwing out the “friend” term. We were getting somewhere, and I blew it.

“I hardly ever see you wear shorts.” I hand him his coffee and scan him from head to toe. Still as handsome as the day I met him. I like being able to see his legs.

“You’re drooling, Isa. Stop that or I’ll feel like a piece of meat.”

“I thought that was the point of the shorts.”

“Maybe.” He smiles and sips his coffee. I pause while lifting my cup of coffee to my lips. These past few weeks have been filled with mixed signals. The lunch we had together less than a week ago when he made me eggs and left the pens on my bed gave me the impression he’s really flirting with me, but then I ruined everything again with the banquet. Between Masa and the ryokan, it’s as if my own spirit is intent on fucking me over at every available opportunity.

“It’s going to be hot today, in the mid-thirties.” He pulls at the fabric of his shorts. “I can handle a lot of heat but not that plus the laundry at the ryokan.”

“High nineties?” I calculate Celcius to Fahrenheit in my head. “A hot summer day ahead.”

“Shall we head to the bakery, Mistress Isa?” he asks, flourishing his arm and bowing.

“No.” He pops back and cocks his head to the side while pulling down his sunglasses. I burst into a laugh because he’s adorable and I can’t help myself. “No. I’m sorry. I feel bad you came all this way, but I’m on strike.”

“Strike? When did this happen?”

“As of an hour ago. I was going to text you, but by the time I was done talking to my grandparents I figured you were already on the train. Plus, I had to go by the ryokan and let Reiko and the rest of the staff know I wouldn’t be reachable.”

“What’s going on?”

I turn the coffee cup around in my hand and step against the wall of the store next to the station so I can be in the shade. I push my messenger bag to the side, letting it rest on my hip. It’s a good thing I apply sunscreen everyday regardless of weather, because it’s going to be a scorcher.

“I’m broke. I have exactly twenty-three dollars and twenty-six cents to my name.” I stare down at my sandaled feet. I wonder if I can sell part of my wardrobe to keep me afloat until I return to the States, even though I didn’t bring much with me on this trip. Maybe I’ll sell my computer, but then how would I keep in touch with my friends and back up my phone? “I didn’t realize how little money I had until last week. Halley insisted I ask for a salary from the ryokan —”

“Of course,” he says, shocked. He touches my upper arm, soft and light, and the gesture is so sweet, I lose my breath in a gasp. “I can’t believe you’re not being paid.” His fingers glide down my arm and squeeze my hand. He lightens his grip, but I tighten mine on his hand. I need his strength so I don’t cry.

“I asked my mom for a salary yesterday, and she called me, well, basically, a selfish American. And that kills me, you know?” I let go of his hand and bring my fist to my chest, hoping to abate the crushing pain in my heart. “I try to put everyone else’s needs above my own. I mean, I’m here in fucking Kichijōji, for fuck’s sake, instead of downtown with Halley.” I crouch down and press my back to the wall. “Sorry.”

Masa squats down next to me and takes my coffee from my hand, setting it on the ground before carefully pushing my hair back from my face. “I can always tell when you’re really upset because fucks come flying out of your mouth at lightning speed.”

“Sorry,” I mumble. “You should go back to Akasaka. I can call you when I go back to work. If I go back to work…”

An old man passing by stops and asks if I’m okay, and Masa politely tells him I’m just upset.

“Get her some water. It’ll be too hot today to be upset,” the old man says, shuffling off down the street.

Masa sighs. “One thing about Japan is no one ever minds their own business.” He offers his hand to me, so I place my hand in his and stand up, gaining strength from contact with him.

“I owe you a huge apology.” My voice shakes, but I clear my throat to keep it steady. “It was always my intention to pay you for all the work you do at the ryokan. I didn’t ask them for money, but I kinda assumed I would get something eventually. Now I know my mom never intended on paying me. I’m fucking stupid for just assuming something this big.”

Masa opens his arms for a hug, and I’m drowned in a wave of need to be close to him. I came to Tokyo to help Mom out, and she hasn’t so much as thanked me for giving up my entire summer for her. I’m paralyzed by the fear of getting too hooked on Masa again. We were insanely close at the end of the school year, spending all our time together, texting constantly, and then I let my heart believe he liked me as more than a friend… and I ruined things, more than once. What if I ruin them completely?

When I don’t move, he steps close to me and pulls me to him. His body is cool even though the air around us swirls hot with summer sun. I let my arms go and wrap them around his waist. If he suddenly pushes me away, I want the last memory I have to be of his body close to mine.

He dips his head to my ear. “You’re not stupid. Not my Isa.” As his lips meet my temple, my brain catches up to my wild beating heart and the words “MASA IS KISSING ME” flash neon behind my eyes. I’m too shocked to move, so happy tears bubble up in my eyes. The kiss lasts barely a millisecond before his chin rests on top of my head. Did I dream his lips on my skin?

“I don’t need money. I’ve been happy to spend the summer with you. Now,” he says, disengaging from me, “we should do something together. What do you want to do?”

“Something free?” I suggest, blinking my eyes quickly to dissipate any tears. I pick up my forgotten coffee and take a sip. “Spend the day in the park?”

“Fuck that,” he says, waving his hand. “What about all those plans you made for seeing the city, back when you were supposed to be here with Halley?”

“Trashed them. Literally. I pulled them from my planner and threw them away the day I took over at the ryokan.”

“Why would you do that?” He pushes his sunglasses up on top of his head. “Did you honestly think you wouldn’t get to do those things?”

“Well, yeah. Five days of working non-stop and then two days off that I promised I would spend with Halley so she could be ready for the Olympics means no time to myself.”

“You should have kept them. Those were dreams you could have made come true.”

I laugh, bitterness apparent in my tone of voice. “I’m not a dreamer, Masa. You know that. I’m a realist. It was better to get rid of them than to be smacked in the face with them every single day.”

He sighs, his shoulders deflating. “I hate the fact that I go back to Akasaka every night, play video games, paint and draw, drink beer, and enjoy myself, while you’ve done nothing but slave away, for what?”

“Apparently, for jack shit.” I shrug my shoulders. “You’ve been working too.”

“Not as hard as you. I saw you at that banquet. You did the work of a professional entertainer and handled the ryokan while you were at it. That takes skill. Now, come on. I have access to money, so where should we go? What was on your list?”

I close my eyes and try to remember the places I wanted to see. “Asakusa?”

“Asakusa and the big temple…” He snaps his fingers a few times. “Sensō-ji. Yeah, let’s go there. We can be tourists for the day — eat, drink, and enjoy summer. Even go to Ueno Park after. Come on.” He reaches for my hand, but I laugh and lean back against the wall.

“That’s gonna cost me a whole lot more than twenty dollars, and I don’t even have a credit card, just a debit card.”

“It’s my treat.”

“No way. Not after all the work I put you through, only to stiff you.”

Masa’s jaw tightens, and he stuffs his hands in his pockets. “Are you saying you don’t want to spend the day with me? Are you standing me up?”

Standing him up? Is this a date?

“I want to spend the day with you,” I whisper.

“Then let’s go.”