Revealed – Chapter 19

Sanaa’s not doing well in practice today. Her reaction time is completely off, and she keeps blinking her eyes, staring out into space past him when they’re between kata.

“Sanaa,” he says, stepping towards her and putting his hand on her back. “Let’s stop for now. I’m afraid you’ll get hurt if we go on any longer.”

She shakes her head, a strand of hair coming loose which she swipes behind her ear. “No. I can keep going.”

“I insist.” He gently pries the sword from her hand, giving it a little squeeze before letting go. “I know Sakai says this work you’re doing is important, but you can’t keep up this pace. It’s killing you, slowly but surely.”

She drops down to the mats while he takes the swords to rack and brings back two glasses of water.

“I had a long talk with my father the other night, and he told me all you’ve been doing for him and Sakai. I’ll have a chat with him about lightening your load.”

“Please don’t do that,” she pleads with him, turning her deep brown eyes on him. He swallows to keep his heart in his chest where it belongs. “Honestly. I don’t want to make things difficult.”

He kneels down next to her and hands her the glass, but it takes a moment for her to grab it without shaking. It breaks his heart to see her like this. She’s a fraction of the happy, beautiful girl he wanted to take home on New Year’s Eve, but so much more familiar to him now. Every little smile, sigh, quirk or gesture means more now that he knows her.

“It won’t make things difficult. I promise. It’s important that you sleep and stay healthy. Otherwise, you’ll break and I won’t be able to see you every day.”

She smiles and blushes before sipping and setting the glass between her crossed legs on the mat.

“Didn’t get much sleep last night?” he asks, glancing at her hands.

“Yes and no. It’s been a rough day. I did eventually fall asleep after I looked at your drawing. It’s really beautiful. Like amazingly beautiful.”

“Oh thanks.” He was so concerned for her, he had forgotten about sending her the drawing. Amazingly beautiful? Sanaa thinks his work is amazingly beautiful.

“You’ve only ever shown them to your mother?”

“Yeah, she’s the other artist in the family. I must have gotten the gene from her.”

“Did she teach you?” She turns a little towards him, her tired, red eyes opening a little wider, eager to hear more about him.

“She started me on shodō, of course.”

“Of course,” she replies with a smile and a little laugh. All Japanese kids learn shodō, probably even her.

“And I learned quickly, but shodō is expensive what with all the ink, brushes, and paper so she taught me how to use the pen on the tablet. I have drawings saved from four years old on.”

“Wow. That must be an impressively huge collection.”

“Oh, I’ve deleted tons, but still, yes. It’s a lot,” he says, smiling at her. He’s ready to get his tablet and show her everything, but she heaves a huge sigh, leans back, and lies down on the mat beside him. His heart starts hammering in his chest. This is the first time she’s ever let down her guard and relaxed around him, and he’s dying to lie down next to her and look her in the eyes.

“I woke up at four-thirty and couldn’t fall back to sleep.”

Jiro leans backward onto his elbows, slowly, not wanting to ruin this perfect moment. “What’s keeping you awake at night?”

“I’m not sure. I’m just… lost.”

“Lost in someone else’s world.”

Sanaa’s a stranger in a strange land, a strange life, reminding Jiro of one of his favorite books. She’s been trying her hardest to adapt, and though she’s doing a remarkable job, it’s starting to wear her thin. There are times when Jiro feels the same way, trying to live under the rules set for him by other people. Wouldn’t it be something if both he and Sanaa could live life on their own terms?

“Yeah. I’m not sure who I am anymore,” she whispers. He glances over at her and she’s staring at the ceiling. “I watch other people all day, the inner workings of their lives. Where they go, who they eat with, what they do, what they read on the train, how many times they use the bathroom each day…”

“That explicit?”

“I know more about these people than they know about themselves.”

She told him she analyzes records and videos and reports back to Sakai, but that wasn’t the full story. His father expanded on this to say she does a lot of surveillance. He didn’t realize it was this detailed, though. If she’s watching all of this and tracking every little thing, she must be working an insane amount of hours.

Why does Sakai need this data? He’s been working with the clans all his life. What’s the point of making her do this work?

Jiro glances over at her and blinks in surprise. She’s asleep! She fell asleep next to him in the dōjō. Her arm is behind her head, her eyes closed and mouth lightly parted, breathing deeply. He should wake her up and send her home, but he just can’t. She’s been so exhausted and here she is, so peaceful.

No one is here at the dōjō today but them and the cameras are turned off, so being careful not to jostle the mats too much, he lies down, his eyes tracing the gentle curves of her forehead down over her nose to her lips and chin. He loves the space right below her ear, just below her hair line. It’s flawless and warm, and he can see her pulse there, slowly ticking away the time in her sleep.

He would kill to be able to slip his arm over and around her, pull her close, and hold her while she’s like this, vulnerable and trusting. No emotional walls. No pretense.

But he can’t. At least, not yet. He’s close to winning her over. He can feel it in the way she smiles, the way she blushes. She loves his drawings.

He’ll draw her next.

He rolls away from her silently and heel-toes across the mats to the wall and his tablet. Powering it on, he picks that spot he loves, her ear and hair line, the soft folds of her shirt and waves of her hair falling on the mats, and starts sketching. He’s sure to catch the way the light hits her from above and casts harsh shadows below. He puts his heart and soul into every line, hoping she understands how much he cares from the way he’s captured her in detail.

After about thirty minutes, Sanaa’s breathing lightens and she stirs, sighing a small amount, before opening her eyes and blinking in confusion.

“Jiro?” She pushes herself up and groans, her whole body slumping over her knees. She’s still exhausted. “Did I fall asleep? Gomen nasai.”

Wow. She slipped into Japanese. She never does that.

“Don’t apologize,” he says, waving his hand at her.

“Why didn’t you wake me?”

He sets down his tablet, being careful to turn it off so she can’t see what he was doing, and walks over to her. “I didn’t have the heart to wake you. I know how tired you are.”

“I don’t think Mark or your father would be happy with you taking pity on me.”

“True, but I don’t care.” He smiles down at her, his hair coming loose from behind his ears, and she smiles up at him, her eyes softening and taking him in. Her guard is still down, and he can feel her attraction to him in the air between them, a palpable energy zapping their hearts, speeding them up. She quickly looks down at her hands as a blush rises, but forces out a breath before meeting his eyes again.

That’s it! Right there — her confidence even amidst something vaguely embarrassing as falling asleep in the middle of a conversation. She’s strong but not arrogant.

Jiro lends Sanaa a hand to get up. Once she’s on her feet, she sways to the side, and he has to grab her shoulders to steady her.

“I should walk you to the train, and you should go home and rest. Maybe we shouldn’t meet up tonight?” The last thing he wants is for her to call off their date but he also wants her to rest. Rock and hard place.

“No, Jiro. I’m sure I’ll be fine once I get home and have a shower. You don’t need to walk me to the train. I’ll be fine.” She takes another breath before nodding to him. She’ll be okay, but it’s killing him not being able to protect her.

“Well, I’ll at least walk you out.” Jiro slips his arm easily over her shoulders, and for a quick moment, she stiffens before relaxing against him. Ahhh. He’s pretty sure she’s into him, and her parting smile at the door cements it.

Don’t blow it now, Jiro.

—-

Jiro has an hour before he needs to be in his apartment to get ready for his date with Sanaa. He’s not sure if that’s enough time to go by Sakai’s apartment and confront him about Sanaa’s workload, but he promised he would do it. Waving to the security guards and ascending the stairs to the top floor, Jiro pauses at Sakai’s door to listen before scanning his hand. Two voices he recognizes echo through the door to the empty stairwell. Sakai’s apartment takes up the entire footprint of the building, but he’s right inside in the living room arguing with Jiro’s mother.

“She’s the last in her line and you’re working her to death. If Junko were here right now, she’d probably clock you.”

Jiro leans into the door, pressing his ear right up against it.

“This is none of your business.”

“Bullshit. You and Lucy are completely crazy for doing this to a twenty-year-old girl, especially her! Get over yourself and your grief or whatever it is that’s holding you back and just tell her so we can move on.”

Wow. Jiro’s never heard his own mother lay into Sakai for anything. They usually have a peaceful relationship and never fight. He’s pretty sure they’re in there talking about Sanaa since she’s the only twenty-year-old girl with a mother named Junko that he knows. What’s this about? And who’s Lucy?

“Don’t you dare lecture me,” Sakai growls.

“I’m only here because Koichi said the same things and you refused to listen. Please. Let’s take her in before anything happens.”

Jiro steadies his breath and waits for Sakai’s response. This is the second time he’s suspected Sanaa’s in some sort of danger yet she comes and goes from the dōjō and travels all over the city without being armed or with any kind of escort. She must not know it herself. She was paler today than usual, though, before she fell asleep, like she had seen a ghost.

Silence permeates the space around him so Jiro lays his hand on the scanner, and the door chimes before Mariko opens it.

“Hello, Jiro,” she says, a genuine smile on her face. She leans over and he kisses her on the cheek. “All done at the dōjō?”

“Yeah, but I need to speak to Sakai before I go out.” Jiro enters the apartment, and Sakai is sitting on the couch with his head in his hands, rubbing his face, which is a sure sign he’s frustrated and exhausted. A little of Jiro’s anger leaks away.

“Okay, well, don’t let me get in the way.” Mariko picks her bag up but Jiro lightly grabs her forearm.

“No. Stay. Sakai, I’m taking Sanaa out on a date tonight,” Jiro starts and Sakai sighs heavily. “I know you said she was off-limits and then you backtracked and wished me luck, so I want to be upfront and tell you this is definitely happening.”

Jiro went behind everyone’s back to date Melanie for the longest time before he brought her home. Even if this thing with Sanaa fizzles out and doesn’t go anywhere, he won’t hide it. He won’t give them any opportunity to say he wasn’t forthright. These confessions go against Jiro’s better instincts. He likes to play his hand close to his chest, and it’s his way to be secretive, but he can at least be open about this.

“I’m here to ask you to lighten Sanaa’s workload…”

Sakai jumps up from his place on the couch. “I’m being attacked by every Itō in the building!”

Jiro puts one hand up. “Maybe you don’t see her every day like I do, but she’s exhausted and completely affected by whatever it is you have her doing. Today, I gave her a chance to rest during practice and she fell asleep!” His voice rises to an accusatory crescendo, his nose flaring. Sakai stands in stunned silence while Jiro sweeps his hair back. “Seriously, she laid down on the mats and passed out. I have never seen anyone do that before much less in the middle of a dōjō.”

“See?” Mariko sweeps her hand between Jiro and Sakai. “She needs a break.”

Sakai unfreezes and walks to his kitchen, ignoring them both for a minute. Opening the freezer, he deposits two cubes of ice into a double old fashioned glass and adds Scotch from his bottle on the counter. “Who wants some?”

“No.” Both Mariko and Jiro shakes their heads as he takes a long pull.

“Okay. You’ve all worn me down. I encouraged Sanaa to do all the research in the beginning, and I didn’t realize she had become so obsessed with the work. And because Jiro is…” Sakai closes his eyes and steels his jaw. “Taking her out on a date, there’s no reason to keep her so busy.”

“Thank you, Mark.” Mariko crosses the space of Sakai’s living room and wraps her arms around Jiro’s uncle. “She knows enough. Let’s relax a little.”

Sakai laughs, a mostly tired but bitter chuckle, and leans forward on his kitchen island, his forearms bracing his body. “Relax? I haven’t done that in years and may never again.”

Jiro comes in a little closer so he can examine his uncle’s face. It’s been a long time since Sakai laughed, cried, or showed any other emotion than passivity. When he carried Sanaa from the outdoor garden in Ku 10, Jiro witnessed Sakai panic and melt into a puddle as he kissed Sanaa’s forehead. Sakai’s coming undone, fraying at the edges. He’s no longer stiff and impenetrable fabric. Love has worn parts of him thin and soft. He may not be the newest toy in the chest, but he’s becoming a favored one.

“I’m glad we’re all going out tomorrow,” Mariko says, her eyes wide and a smile broadening her face. “Everyone will have fun at the okiya. Sanaa, too.”

“Well, not everyone…” Sakai’s left eyebrow raises and Mariko laughs at him. Wait. There’s a private joke here Jiro is unaware of. Sakai might have a secret girlfriend? If so, it would explain a lot of his changes this past year.

“Okay. Not everyone.” Mariko gives him a kiss on the cheek and returns to the chair to pick up her bag, getting ready to leave.

“Tomorrow morning, I’ll arrange to lighten her workload.”

Perfect. It’s the reason Jiro came here in the first place and his mother handled most of it. Looks like everyone is concerned about Sanaa, even Sakai. And a trip to the okiya? Sanaa will love that.

Jiro’s mother is at the door so Jiro leans forward to whisper to Sakai. “I know you love Sanaa, but you have to let her go.”

Sakai rises up to his normal height, lifts the glass to his lips, and sips. “Yamada died today in the hospital. Things for us are about to get very difficult.” He drains his Scotch fast and Jiro leaves as Sakai fills the glass up.