Revealed – Chapter 16

On the train to Ku 10, Sanaa sits across from Jiro and smiles at him, sweet and sincere. She’s relaxed, her legs crossed and hands folded in her lap, comfortable in her own skin and less tense, though still tired, the dark circles under her eyes like thumbprint bruises. Jiro’s heart beats rapidly as he smiles back. He hoped that once they were out of the dōjō, the barriers would melt away.

“Have you been to Ku 10, Sanaa?”

Her cheeks flush.

“Nope. Never. Mark says you’ve been?”

“Yes, several times, but never for fun. Usually in and out for meetings.”

Jiro’s tablet in his bag pings. “Sorry. Hold on a second.”

She turns to stare out the window at the advertisements as he sighs and deals with a note from his brother about a water leak in their apartment. Yoichi has crappy timing. He opens his bag to put his tablet away and talk to Sanaa again, when her tablet pings. There is just no way of getting away from technology today.

Jiro makes eye contact with Sakai. Sakai gestures his head at Sanaa, shrugs a little, and then rolls his eyes, so Jiro points to himself and quietly whispers, “She’s mine,” his pulse hammering in his ears. It’s an incredibly ballsy move and he expects Sakai’s face to redden with anger, having already spent the last few months prohibiting Jiro from dating Sanaa. Sakai puffs out a little laugh, looks straight into Jiro’s eyes, and says, “Good luck.”

Really?

Sakai’s eyes sweep over Sanaa, soft and sad, and Jiro hesitates. He loves her. Sakai loves Sanaa, and more than just platonically. Jiro has seen that look before countless times. That expression is one of love unrequited, lonely and aching. Sakai is way too old for her. What the hell is going on with him?

When the train pulls into the station, and Sanaa smiles at Jiro again, Sakai takes a step back and turns his head. Jiro halts again. He’s never been one to steal loves from other people. That was Kentaro’s job, not his. But there’s just no way Sakai and Sanaa… right? They’re over twenty years apart in age, and Jiro is sure Sakai has been secretly dating someone for a few years.

It’s now or never, though. He can’t keep flirting with Sanaa and backing off. She’ll just get frustrated and move on. Jiro puts his hand on her back with a smile and says, “After you,” as the train doors open.

Ku 10 is one of Jiro’s favorite places. The clean, fresh air of the hydroponics towers and the large bays of green vegetables always remind him of why they’re working so hard to get off Earth. These plants could grow outside, under the sky and sun, but here they have to lock them away from the harsh elements. Someday, these engineers will be walking amongst the dirt of a new world, watching their crops bud and sprout from seeds in the soil. A woman in a white lab coat passes behind Jiro and Sanaa and the small smile of accomplishment on her face says it all. This is gratifying work.

Sanaa’s eyes capture every detail across the tower, up and down the spiral walkway, watching the bots work and the employees scatter as pallets of goods make their way up and down the ramp. Sakai walks from them to talk to a friend, leaving Sanaa and Jiro alone. His father had said, “I’ll handle it with Mark.” Looks like he came through for Jiro.

Leaning forward on the railing, Jiro brushes his elbow against Sanaa’s as they watch the activity on the rice paddy.

“I love that you call him Mark.” Jiro laughs. “I’ve never seen anyone so informal with my uncle, and he allows it.”

“He told me to call him Mark,” she replies with a smile.

“Really? I have never heard anyone except for my parents call him anything but Sakai.”

“How come you don’t call him uncle?”

“Because he’s the head of my house,” he says matter-of-factly, “and it wouldn’t be respectful. He’s only Sakai. Never anything else.”

“Hmmm.” She pulls herself up and away from the railing, her eyebrows pulled together. “I wouldn’t want others to think that I didn’t respect him. Maybe I shouldn’t call him Mark in front of other people.”

“Oh no,” he says, reaching over and squeezing her arm. “If he told you to, you should definitely do it. I’m sure he has his reasons. It’s just another side of him I’ve never seen before. You’ve softened him a bit.”

“He seems the same to me. Perhaps that’s not such a good thing?”

“No. He’s been too rigid for too long.” Jiro remembers the suffering he’s endured under Sakai’s reign, the constant meddling, the rules, and most recently Sakai’s edict that Jiro not date anymore. Maybe things have changed, for the better. “He doesn’t make enough decisions from the heart, only from the head. Balance between the two is important. We’re all human beings, not machines.”

They both stare off into the rice paddy, watching man and machine work together. Yūsei is not that far off, maybe a year now. Smiling at the girl next to him, he knows he wants to share that experience with her.

“Let’s keep walking, and Sakai will catch up to us.” He nods at Sakai, and Sakai smiles slightly. Jiro wants to ask permission, unsure of his footing now that he knows Sakai has deep feelings for Sanaa, but Sakai returns to his friend and continues their conversation.

Jiro leads Sanaa down the walkway, spiraling away from the top of the enclosure, and crossing each section of the hydroponics tower, one level after another. When another pallet of root vegetables tries to pass them, Jiro steps in front of Sanaa, turning to face her and walk backwards while protecting her with his arm. She smiles and blushes again, and he allows his hand to brush hers on the way to letting go.

“Why do I not run into you around Ku 6?” Jiro asks, jarring Sanaa’s attention to him. She was watching a woman interface her tablet with a growing bay.

“Huh? Ku 6? Oh, I don’t know. I live in Ku 9 so it’s not like it’s right next door or anything.”

“But your family grew up in Ku 6. It’s where we live.”

He regrets saying it as soon as the statement leaves his mouth because her face falls. Sanaa has seemed very Japanese to him for the past few weeks, and he keeps forgetting she didn’t grow up in Ku 6.

“We? Like where the Japanese live?” Her voice is challenging, and the vein in her temple starts throbbing. Oops, her temper is flaring. This is a touchy subject. “My aunt didn’t like going back to Ku 6 so we never went.”

“Something to do with your family?”

“You could say that. She and her father, my grandfather, didn’t get along. So when he died, she stayed away. Until recently, I had been to Ku 6 only two or three times and certainly not within the last fifteen years.”

Whoa. She is far removed from his world. How is it a girl like her ended up doing this important surveillance work for Sakai? It just doesn’t make sense. Jiro shakes his head thinking about how she grew up away from the events, food, and traditions he’s taken for granted his whole life.

“I can’t imagine being away from all the things that are the center of our culture. So you’ve never attended the kabuki plays or taiko drumming concerts?”

“No. Never.” Her temper is gone, and with her shoulders fallen, she’s small and sad. This conversation is not going the way Jiro intended it to. “Before I worked for Mark, I was an engineer in the Colonization department, as you know. I fast-tracked in school so I was pretty busy in my own ward.”

“But you’ve been to Izakaya Tanaka in 7. Many times.”

She trips over a gap in the grate and catches herself on the guardrail, her cheeks red with a giant blush.

“Uh, yeah. How do you know that?”

“I haven’t seen you at the izakaya in the last month, so I asked Miko about you.”

“You asked… Miko?” Is she angry? Her breathing is rapid, but she begins to smile. No. Her eyes dilate, and he has her attention finally, romantically. This is another key to Sanaa. She wants to know he’s interested in her. She doesn’t read between the lines, and he either needs to be forward or back off completely.

Well, the decision is pretty obvious to him, so he smiles and lies to her. “Only a few days ago.” More like the last few weeks, but who’s counting?

“I could meet you there sometime, if you like. I usually go out in the evenings and review my work. I can’t do what I do in front of Helena and Miko, so I’ve avoided the izakaya. But I could come. I mean, if you wanted me to.”

Her enthusiasm mixed with insecurity is adorable.

“I’d like that,” he says. “Though I guess you can’t go very often.”

“No. There’s a lot of data to parse, and I tend to work in the evenings.”

Sanaa chews on the inside of her cheek and stares off into the last hydroponics bay in the stack before the bottom. She’s now distracted by thoughts of her job, and he’s lost her attention. But wait… He didn’t actually ask her out. He only suggested it, and she practically asked for an invitation. What’s wrong with him? It’s like he’s forgotten how to talk to girls.

“Tomorrow night.”

“What?”

It takes a moment for her eyes to focus on him and he laughs. He imagines stepping closer to her and taking her hand in his, but Sakai is moving towards them on the gangway.

Jiro clears his throat. “Tomorrow night. Izakaya Tanaka. Seven o’clock.”

“I’ll be there.”

Yes!

“Come you two. We’re going up top,” Sakai says, leading them both to the elevator. As it climbs to the top of the chamber, Jiro thinks about the places Sanaa has never been to — the temples, the restaurants, and the quiet gardens in Ku 6 — and now he wants to take her around and show them to her. Watching her soak in this mundane trip to observe plants growing, she’s enthralled, her enthusiasm rubbing off on him. He bets she’s never been outside before. She’s going to be so excited.

Jiro glances over at her as they walk down the long corridor, and she’s not paying much attention to the door at the end. She’s biting her lip and thinking, turning around to glance back at the chamber they just came from.

“We’ll just go through here and outside.”

Sakai pushes the door open and walks out into the rock and succulent garden. Jiro follows by his side, walking straight over to the edge so he can stare at the desert surrounding them.

The day is bright and sunny, and his eyes sting with tears before he brings his hand up to shade the glare. This right here is what makes Ku 10 his favorite place, the outside access. He loves being under the hot sun, breathing in the fresh air, and seeing the world for what it is. The desire to leave for Yūsei becomes more powerful out here, though. There are nights when that’s all he dreams about.

“Sanaa, come and join us. You should see the desert at this time of day,” Sakai says, and they both turn back to the door to find Sanaa frozen still, her eyes locked on plants growing in urns around her feet.

“Sanaa, are you all right? Come!” Sakai moves towards her, and alarms blare in Jiro’s head. She’s not responding, and despite the heat and sheen of sweat across her forehead, her skin is pale, and her hands are trembling.

“Wait, don’t…” Jiro tries to catch up to Sakai, warning Sanaa not to move, but it’s too late.

Her face turns to the sky as Sakai grabs her hand to lead her out past the garden tarp, her eyes roll back in her head, and she hits the ground so fast, Sakai is pulled off balance, knocking over a pot and spilling the soil over the stones.

“We have to get her inside quickly!” Jiro sprints to them, joining Sakai squatted over Sanaa’s prone body. He’s got her head in his hands, probing along her skull to check for injuries.

“I think she hit her head.” Sakai slips his arms under Sanaa and carries her to the door. Jiro hurries ahead to open it, and they deposit her on the floor inside.

He watches as Sakai tenderly wipes the sweat from Sanaa’s forehead and then kisses her there. A mixture of panic and anger wells up inside of him, and he almost pushes Sakai off of her. Instead, he sits back, defeated. This is never going to work if he’s competing against Sakai. No wonder he pushed so hard for them to remain teacher and student.

Jiro takes Sanaa’s hand in his, her short nails jagged little ovals. Running his fingers down the insides of hers, he fits them between the delicate bones, settling each next to his knuckles. He looks down at her unconscious body, petite and suddenly frail. When they’re in the dōjō, he’s always taken by how strong and capable she is, how she keeps trying until she gets it right. The day he jabbed her in the shoulder, he challenged her to come back and keep training, to be better than him, and she did. This, though, reminds him she’s still a human being, fallible and vulnerable, and it makes him want to protect her, from everyone and everything.

Sanaa starts to stir, a small moan coming from her mouth, and Jiro squeezes her hand even more.

“Sanaa, can you hear me?” Sakai asks, leaning over her again.

She opens her eyes and blinks at them both over her in the dark hallway and Jiro lets out a long held breath.

“What happened? Why does my head hurt?”

“You went down like a sack of bricks. I think you hit your head. We’ll get you some ice.”

“I’ve never seen anything like that,” Jiro says, and Sanaa squeezes his hand back.

“I… I’m okay.” She tries to sit up, but Sakai puts his hands on her shoulders, and she lies down.

“You looked up and, before I knew it, you were on the ground.”

She’s silent for a moment, her eyebrows pulled together, trying to recall the last five minutes.

“I’ve never been outside before. All the heat… and the air. The blue sky was crushing me, then the world spun around… and I blacked out?” She glances from Sakai to Jiro and then bursts into tears.

No. No, Jiro hates it when girls cry, but this is worse because he could make her feel better by picking her up and hugging her. She’s not crying over some imagined injustice or the perceived selfishness of another like Melanie used to. Sanaa’s frightened and hurt, and with Sakai here, Jiro can’t sweep in and comfort her.

“What was that? Why did that happen to me? I was so helpless. I couldn’t move.”

Sakai moves the hair off her face, and Jiro’s chest constricts, murderous thoughts crowding everything else out.

“Can you sit up now?” Sakai asks. “I think that you had a panic attack.”

“I didn’t feel panicked,” she says, pulling herself up to sit. “It was like a part of my brain turned off.”

“May be agoraphobia. Doctors working on the colonization say forcing people who have lived inside all their lives to live outside might be difficult. I think it might be more difficult than they thought.”

This is a problem Jiro had never considered before. How many more people will be paralyzed by the sky and the air around them? He’s been coming here since he was a kid and even been outside at night to see the stars a few times. Will he never be able to share this with Sanaa?

She wipes the tears from her face with her free hand, making sure not to let go of Jiro, tightening her grip instead of loosening it.

“I couldn’t help it,” she says, her voice so small and childlike. “Never been outside before.”

“We’re going to have to desensitize you,” Sakai says, nodding down at Sanaa. Her breathing accelerates, her eyes darting around, looking for an exit. No, no, no. She doesn’t want that at all. Shit, Sakai! This is not the time.

Sakai stands up, and Jiro pulls her to her feet before letting go of her hand.

“I want to go home now.” She wraps her arms around herself.

“Okay. Okay.”

Sakai leads them out of the ward and back to the transitway, Sanaa standing silent next to Jiro the entire way. When the doors open at her stop in Ku 9, she leaves the car, weakly waving and smiling at Jiro, and he smiles at her as best he can.

Silence sits between Sakai and Jiro as the train glides out of the station, and Jiro’s head swivels to catch Sanaa’s back ascending the stairs.

“So, you and Sanaa, huh?”

What could he possibly say? He could deny it. He’s asked her out on a date, and they’ve been flirting and getting to know each other, but that’s about it. Today was the first time in five weeks he’s even touched her outside the dōjō. It was natural and right, like her hand belonged in his, where it should be.

“Yes. Me and Sanaa.” Jiro turns his attention on Sakai, his eyes challenging him. Just try to stop them. Go ahead, Sakai. “Do you love her? Is that why you told me to stay away? Just tell me now so I know what I’m up against.”

Sakai’s lips twitch. “I loved her mother. I would have married her mother if she would have let me.” He reaches around the transitway car pole and squeezes Jiro’s shoulder. “Don’t make the same mistakes I did.”