Reunited – Chapter 41

My family has been living in this house for a few days. When we enter, everyone peels off and heads straight for their rooms, and Jiro guides me to the last room at the back, closest to the bathroom. It will be nice to throw up in a toilet.

He slides the door open to our bedroom, but I stand immobile. My slippers are on the floor next to the bed and an open bag sits next to them filled with my clothes. On the table are my toothbrush and toothpaste, a bag of toiletries, and the framed photo of us at Miko’s wedding. I walk slowly into the room, pick up the toothbrush in one hand, the photo in the other.

“I never doubted I would get you back. Though it would have been great if you had never been taken in the first place.” His voice is soft, standing in the door watching me.

“Kazuo came for me the second night. I waited and waited for word from you, and it just didn’t come.” Disappointment. I’m disappointed Jiro left me and allowed me to be kidnapped.

“I’m so sorry I failed you.” His voice is cracked and hoarse, and if I let the silence brew too long, he may cry. I can’t see him cry. If he cries, it means things are really bad, like they were after the earthquake. I want to believe my life is only temporarily screwed up, not permanently. I quickly step to him, put my hand to his mouth, and shush him.

“Don’t.” I keep my hand on his mouth, hug him with my other arm, and rest my head against his shoulder. His breathing calms, but he won’t stay silent for long. Peeling my hand from his lips, he holds it and looks at my dirty fingers, my broken fingernails.

“I wanted to come for you myself. I said I would, and I didn’t. It was a tough call. Taira clan had people all over the city, and Kentaro and Usagi were the only nondescript members of our family we could send in to get you. Miura hadn’t seen Kentaro in at least ten years.”

Taira and Minamoto never got along. Maybe only Risa could have given away Kentaro if she ever looked past her own nose.

Kentaro is part of my family now, without a doubt. He’s the closest thing I will ever have to a brother.

“We didn’t want anyone to know we were coming for you. Arata thought to make the attack look like a Rokkaku bombing…” He smiles for a moment. “Something that happens quite frequently, I think.”

“I was glad it wasn’t you that found me in the castle.” I need to brush my teeth and sleep, so I back away from Jiro and remove Kentaro’s clothes slowly, being careful not to upset my injuries, until I have nothing on.

“Why? Wait…” He waves at me and his eyes narrow.

Now that I’m not wearing a long sleeve shirt and pants, Jiro can see everything, the bruises along my chest and abdomen where I was thrown across the horse, the red burn marks around my wrists and ankles from being bound, and my feet blistered and caked with blood.

He slowly inches towards me, like I’m a wounded animal that will strike at him if he’s too fast. He tips my face up with his hands and looks at each of my cheeks.

“I thought maybe your face had changed since you’re pregnant, but your cheeks are swollen and bruised.” He backs away and his eyes search every part of my body finally inventorying all the horrors wrought on me by our enemies. “Did they hit you?”

I nod, unable to vocalize anything right now.

“What happened to you at the castle?”

I shake my head. No, Jiro. No, not now.

“Sanaa, tell me.”

“Ask Kentaro.”

I turn away from him, put on clean underwear, brush my teeth without even putting on a robe, and lie down in bed with Jiro sitting next to me.

“Can I sleep with you?” He seems uncertain, like I’ll turn him away.

“I can’t wait to pick up our life where we left off.” He smiles softly at me, breathing out a sigh of relief. I lift up the covers. “Yes, lie down with me. Don’t leave me.”

He lies down, and I throw my arm across his chest. There. I’m back in my favorite spot, my dirty face pressed into the side of Jiro so I can watch his chest rise and fall. I place my hand right over his heart.

“Just tell me if you’re okay. I need to know.” He turns on his side towards me and puts his hand on my abdomen. I’m not showing yet, but I’m pretty sure a baby thrives right under his fingers.

“I wasn’t raped. I would have been eventually, by who knows who. Osamu wouldn’t even touch me.” I burst into tears. Tears come so easily now when I used to be able to hold them in. This must be the hormones. “I’m grateful Osamu thought I was disgusting even if it was humiliating. That’s the only good thing that I can say. Everything else, I may never forget.” I wipe my face on his shirt and yawn. “Please be here when I wake up.”

I sleep the sleep of the dead, so deep I don’t even dream. It’s a brief respite from my brain. When the dreams do come, they will be filled with horrors. I open my eyes, and I’m alone. Panic revs my heart to a swift gallop. Was I rescued? Where am I? But then I hear Kentaro and Jiro talking loudly next door.

“You can’t go and leave her here like this, Jiro. It’ll kill her!”

“They took my wife, Kentaro! Tried to imprison her, rape her! I’m going to kill every last one of them!”

I blink my eyes impassively, the panic fading, and curl up in bed. Angry and Murderous Jiro.

“Yes, yes, in time, we will do it — all of us — but you’re not leaving here right now. I won’t let you go.”

Silence for a moment as I imagine Kentaro blocking Jiro from charging out of this house with Oninoten on his back.

“You said he’s alive. That she left him for me. How can I feel she’s safe with him alive?”

“It might be days before he wakes up.” Kentaro chuckles, and I smile. He drugged their saké, and Osamu, based on his behavior, drank a whole lot of it.

“What else can you tell me?”

“Jiro…” Kentaro’s voice warns Jiro to stay away from this. I should not want Jiro to hear any of this, but there’s no way he’s going to be able to live and not know. I’m glad I told him to go to Kentaro.

“How can I help her if I don’t know what happened?”

Kentaro sighs. “I opened the door. Sanaa was naked and bound, and Osamu was passed out on the floor. She said he was making her stand there while he humiliated her and told her about all the big women he’d rather be fucking.” There’s a small amount of silence. “My words, not hers, of course. I imagine she was ready and willing to escape. She probably would have fought them all to the death if she had the chance…”

“I know. She’s strong.”

“She is, but she needs us. Hold tight, my friend. This is definitely not over.”

I roll over and go back to sleep. The guys obviously have this taken care of.

—-

I wake up the second time, and Jiro is in bed next to me again awake with his tablet.

“Hey. I was going to wake you soon. Arata will be here in an hour for afternoon tea outside, and I thought you might want to get cleaned up before.”

I don’t answer, just bury my face in the pillow. I’m so tired I could sleep for a hundred years.

“Wait, don’t go back to sleep.” He leans over and pokes me in the ribs and kisses my cheek. “I need to talk to you about Kazuo.”

“Mmmhmm.”

“I don’t know what to make of him. First, he kidnaps you and then he turns around and helps to free you. I almost killed him when he showed up the night before Fujiwara took you.”

Where do I start with Kazuo? Turning on my side to face Jiro, I let my eyes wander to the window and focus on the early afternoon sun shining on the trees.

“He was supposed to take other people with him when he took me. I think the plan was to use as many hostages as necessary to get me to kill myself. They wanted more than Kohaku and Hiro. Right from then, he wasn’t listening to orders. When Miura told Risa to take care of me, he stayed by me night and day instead.”

“Why?”

“Jiro, he followed us for weeks before he took me. Watched me, watched you and me walk through town, talk to people, eat, explore. He saw me with Helena, with Mariko, with Beni. He was there when we fought in the dōjō, the night we climbed the buildings. He saw the shrine.”

Taking a deep breath, I focus my eyes on him. “He even saw us in the alley behind Izakaya Tanaka.”

He sits back, his eyebrows lifting straight up.

“Kazuo saw more of me than I even let Miko or Helena see. Only you have ever seen me vulnerable. He said to me, ‘Jiro’s a lucky man,’ and I knew he must have found me… attractive.”

Jiro’s nose flares, and he narrows his eyes. Jealous Jiro. Protective Jiro. I reach over and squeeze his hand.

“This is what we’ve been waiting for. This isn’t love, it’s devotion. He doesn’t find me attractive because he wants to be with me. He wants to follow me. He wants to live with honor. The pregnancy was the final thing that swayed him to our side. I knew he was close for a long time, could see it in the way he subtly protected me even when he couldn’t. I don’t think he’s as soulless as we all believed he was. Sachi’s the soulless one.”

I push myself up in the bed and crawl to the space between Jiro’s legs. He’s stiff and unmoving, not believing what I’m telling him.

“I know what you must be thinking. I can’t guarantee Kazuo won’t hurt me again. But my choices, the way I live, the way I love you, it means something to him. It’s hope. Hope that things can change. Miura doesn’t have a loving bone in his body, and neither do Sachi or Emiko. For them, it’s all about power. He has honor. We should take his support if he’s willing to give it.”

He nods, his eyes far away. “He really saw us having sex?”

“Yes.” I smile and tug on his shirt. “Let’s be thankful we were fully clothed, and it was really good sex.”

Jiro laughs and runs his hands through his hair. I love his hair. I stroke my fingers, feather light, along his eyebrow to his ear, and tuck his white streak back.

“Is it ever not really good sex?” he asks, his eyebrows raising twice with a devilish smile on his face.

“No. Another thing to be thankful for.” I hang my head. “We’re going to be okay, right? You and me…” I would understand if Jiro pulled away, though my heart would break. I am swimming in doubt, deceived so many times, I don’t know which way is up. “If I’ve learned anything these past few days, it’s that nothing in life lasts forever, nothing is certain.”

Jiro snaps his legs to the bed and pulls me to him quickly. “Have you forgotten how much I love you? I would go to the ends of the earth for you. Whatever you want, it’s yours. If anything, I was worried you’d come back and hate me for leaving you.”

“Never. I could never hate you.” I hug him tight. “I was so low. I had the chance, several times, to kill myself. I almost did.”

Jiro shakes his head at me. “I can’t believe all that’s happened to you. I remember when it was just the two of us in the dōjō everyday, and we would talk and laugh and flirt. I can’t even imagine you being so desperate and wanting to end your life.” He clutches the sides of my face between his two strong hands. “I feel responsible for what’s happened to you. I helped Mark drag you into all of this unwillingly. I up and left you when you needed me, and when I was gone, others hurt you.”

“If only I had my sword.”

He smiles at me for a moment and turns serious again, pulling my hips against him. “You will have whatever you want from now on. No more decisions out of your hands. If your gut tells you to do something or not, you listen. No matter how crazy it is, I will always obey. I should have listened to you that night in the alley. You begged me not to go, and I went anyway. I’ve beaten myself up over and over for it since then. You are mine, and I am yours, and we will never be apart again.” He takes a deep breath and lets it out. “And if you weren’t in so much pain and so sick, I’d tear these clothes off of you right now and claim you again.”

Goosebumps climb from my arms to the back of my neck, and Jiro watches them make my body shiver.

“That’s my Sanaa,” he whispers and kisses me on the forehead. “Now, I’ll take care of you. First, you rest. Then you decide what to do with Kazuo and Arata. They are your servants. You tell me how best to use them.”