Reunited – Chapter 31

I wake to angry voices outside of my tent. A guard is stationed inside with me, but he’s sitting stoically, and I’ve turned my back to him so he can’t see my face.

“Shut up, Sachi. I’m sick of your whining.” Kazuo. He sounds irritated with his sister. “I told you not to get involved with Tadao and Emiko. Don’t come complaining to me now if you don’t like the way Emiko treats you anymore.”

“Why don’t we just kill her and get it over with?”

“Emiko or Sanaa?”

“Sanaa, of course. They’re all distracted by her. What if we take her straight to Fujiwara?”

“Sachi, you’re so stupid. We’d have nothing to bargain with and no one to support us, and then I’d have to come back to Taira? No. I hate Miura. Sanaa’s right. He has no honor.”

Oh, this is good. Kazuo, it turns out, values honor.

“Honor?” Sachi, on the other hand, is not a big fan of honor. “I’m not the one that’s stupid.”

“It’s obvious when we were in the womb together, I got all the brains.”

I want to giggle. These two fight like little kids.

“Get away from my tent!” Risa. “Don’t you know she can hear you in there?”

I snap my eyes closed and pretend to sleep, but Risa throws open the flap, secures it up so light pours in and then kicks me in the butt. “Get up.”

“Ouch. Didn’t your vile mother ever teach you to be nice?”

“Watch your mouth. Here.” She hands me a box of food, and I sit cross-legged on the floor and shovel the food into my mouth before she tries to take it away. Rice, seaweed, some fish. Not much, but better than nothing, because I’m starving. “Show some manners, Sanaa, and stop chewing with your mouth open.”

“I’m hungry. I don’t think I’ve eaten in almost twenty-four hours now. I’m always hungry.”

She narrows her eyes at me again, and I return to eating.

“We’re leaving in an hour. As soon as you’re done, they’re going to take down the tent. You’ll ride with Kazuo again. Blindfolded. Don’t try anything.”

I finish eating, pee, drink some water, and stand outside under guard while the entire camp disintegrates around me. Their routine is a well-ordered ballet, like they’ve done it a hundred times already. Once the tents are down, I get a good look around. There are about eighty people, men and women, and maybe twenty-five horses. Some people pull away from camp with hand-drawn carts. Others ride two to a horse. I think most of these people have been on the surface longer than we were told, otherwise how would they be so fit and able to ride horses? And how did they get the horses? I’m baffled. They must have bargained away family heirlooms or something.

Kazuo guides me gently by my upper arm and leads me to a horse. I turn and watch Risa as I go, and she frowns at me while tying back her shoulder length hair and straightening out her deep purple kimono. She’s stuck with me, and she doesn’t like it.

“Your face looks like it’s stopped bleeding. You should be fine, but you should get Risa to clean the cut later.”

Whatever, Kazuo. With us moving camps often, I doubt Sakai and Jiro will be able to find me. I’m sure my life is going to end violently in a few days.

Before stopping, I inventory everyone in the camp but I don’t see Minamoto. Where did he go?

The horse I’m standing next to huffs and brings his nose around to breathe softly on my head.

“Hi there,” I say, lifting my hands up and stroking his face from his nose to his eyes. He stands quite still for a moment, enjoying my scratches, and then leans down and rests his head against mine. “Aw, you’re a sweet horse. Be careful with me, okay?”

“You have a way with animals.” Kazuo waits with my blindfold, watching me and the horse.

“I know. I love them, and they love me.” I shrug my shoulders. I can’t explain it.

“I saw the way that horse ran to you in Izumo. It was like it was under a spell.”

I pause as if a bucket of cold water has been emptied over me.

“How long have you been watching me?” I ask him, not really expecting an answer.

“A long time. Weeks. Way before you went to Izumo. I saw the way you handled those men outside the ryokan, the shrine, and you and Jiro are close. I’m afraid I’ve seen too much.” He turns from me, and I’m sure he’s talking about my last time with Jiro in the alley. A giant blush erupts on my cheeks, and I take a deep breath, close my eyes, and try to imagine blue skies and rolling dunes to make the heat go away. I hope that was not my last time with Jiro.

The horse nudges my head again and startles my eyes open. Kazuo waits for me, but I can’t look at him. I’m too embarrassed. I glance around and Risa and Sachi are on horseback together waiting for us. Sachi is passive, but Risa quietly fumes, her jaw set and eyes narrowed. She hates me.

“Let’s go, Sanaa. Three hours of riding ahead of us.” He guides my hands to the saddle and boosts me up, climbs on the horse behind me, and puts on the blindfold. “You hold on, and I’ll hold onto you.” His arm wraps around my waist again, and he leans forward, his voice at my ear while his hand brushes against my ring. “Jiro’s a lucky man.”

Oh my gods, does Kazuo like me? I’m going to puke.

Be calm, Sanaa. Be calm. I hate this, but how can I use this to my advantage? I don’t know. For now, all I can do is keep quiet while Kazuo tightens his grip on me.

We ride for an hour, and I wish I was unconscious. With the swaying of the horse and the blindfold, I’m so nauseated the world swims around me. And I’m hungry too. My stomach growls and somersaults, over and over. It’s not a good combination.

I’ve been silent, concentrating on my breathing and the data my ears pick up. All I hear are the woods, the trees, and the other riders around us.

“Kazuo, I don’t feel well. Can I ride without the blindfold, please?”

“Can’t. Not my choice, but I have strict orders.”

“I’m going to puke if I don’t get a break soon.” I burp and wretch, and Kazuo’s body tightens behind me. “Besides, I don’t know this continent at all. Even if I saw where I was, it’s not like I could lead anyone here.”

“I don’t think that’s the point.”

They’re probably only blindfolding me to make me scared and anxious. Well, they’re doing a damned good job.

“We’ll be stopping soon,” he says, shifting his weight behind me, and I lift each leg slightly to stretch. Riding horses is uncomfortable. “What did you bury in the yard next to your dōjō?”

My skin cools and prickles. “A kitten.” Shit. He has been watching me. “My cat, Momo, had her kittens and one died.”

“How many kittens did she have?”

“Five total, including the deceased one.”

“Is it strange having a cat? I’m not used to the horses at all.”

“No. I thought it would be, but she was good company. I have a dog, too.”

“I know.”

We ride for a while in silence, and I regret not asking Kazuo another question right away because talking kept the nausea at bay.

He clears his throat and drops his voice, “Your friend, Helena, is she badly damaged?”

I clutch the saddle in front of me with such ferocity I’m sure my knuckles turn white.

“I often saw you two go for walks, and she looked almost normal again.” I wish I could see his face and read his features because he sounds either indifferent or repentant. It’s hard to tell which.

“How could you do that to her? You hurt a completely innocent person for no reason other than she’s my friend.” My neck starts to sweat, and I bet my skin is fiery red.

“Another one of Sachi’s stupid ideas,” he growls.

“Don’t try to blame this on your sister. I watched the videos and saw you slip the poison into her drink. It’s not like anyone forced you to do it.”

“No. You’re right. I did do it. I was curious about how the toxin would affect a victim. I’m only sorry we chose her. I know she didn’t deserve it.”

“Well, she’s doing fine, no thanks to you.”

“You’re very kind with her —”

“Of course I am. I’m almost directly responsible for what happened to her, and she’s my best friend next to Miko. I’m sure you know that, too.” I humph and throw my head back. Trying to be haughty while blindfolded is difficult.

“As I was saying, you’re very kind with her. Always helping but not seeming to help. It’s… sweet.” The statement comes out of his mouth confusing and unsure. Is kindness a foreign concept to him?

“Helena is an independent woman,” I say, keeping my voice level. “I don’t want her to feel like she needs me, even if she does.”

“The group is slowing down. I’m going to pull off to the side now and let you down in a minute.”

Was that a confession that he didn’t mean to hurt Helena? I would never forgive him for what he did — I can hold a grudge for my entire life — but I think I could cut him some slack if I needed to. I may need to. He softens with each conversation we have.

We stop, he pulls me from the horse, and sets me down on a cold, hard, and jagged surface. I inhale slowly and try to keep what little I’ve eaten in my stomach, but I’m suddenly starving. “I need to eat again. I’m sorry.” I don’t know why I’m apologizing or why I care so badly that I eat or stay alive when I’m only a day or two away from death or imprisonment. It’s hard to convince myself that my life is at an end, though.

Kazuo takes the blindfold off, I blink, and look around. We’re in a wide field with mountains off in the distance. We’ve been traveling along a dirt road that stretches off to the horizon. No clue where we are.

“Risa,” Kazuo shouts over at her. “Get Sanaa something to eat and drink.”

“I’m not her slave.” Risa turns her back on us.

“Do it or I’ll tell Miura you’re not cooperating.”

Risa eyes him evilly and stalks off. Sachi dismounts from her horse and walks over to us. “Come on, Kazuo. Tonight. Let’s just get rid of her. She’s causing more problems than she’s worth.”

“Hello?” I roll my eyes at her. “I’m right here. Please stop talking about killing me right in front of me.”

Sachi wheels around and smacks me across the face. I’ve never been smacked so many times in my life as I have in the last twenty-four hours, but the violence shows I’m wearing them down and putting them off their game.

“Shut. Up. I will never forgive you for killing Tadao.” She bends down, pushing her face against mine. My eyes water from the slap, but I blink away the tears and stare directly at her. “Never. You don’t know it, but your life is mine.” She strides off to her horse and Emiko waits for her.

Sachi and Tadao. Sachi, Tadao, and Emiko? I’m completely disgusted.

Kazuo laughs. “My sister has bad taste in men… and women.”

My head lightens like a balloon at the end of its string. I bend over and put my head between my knees, resting my bound hands on the ground in front of me. I have stepped in a pile of shit. My life is a pile of shit. I was living in this bubble, not knowing what was going on around me. Sachi is harboring a grudge because I’ve killed her lover. Emiko and Miura hate me because of who I am. Risa despises me because I chose Beni over her right in the beginning and took Jiro. Nobu and Yukio hate me because of what I did to Risa, and they also hate me because they hate Sakai.

A lot of people hate me, and I think I can include Kohaku, Hideki, and Hiro amongst them despite what I’ve done here. The only person I’m not sure about is Kazuo, but I should hate him for what he did to Helena. This is an impossible situation to be stuck in.

Risa returns a moment later with another box of food — more rice, fish, and seaweed — and hands it to Kazuo.

“You look green,” she says to me.

“Traveling on horseback blindfolded doesn’t agree with me.”

“Are you sure it’s not…” Risa folds her arms across her chest and presses her heart-shaped lips closed.

“What?”

“Nothing.” She turns and stalks off. She walks like a kid having a temper tantrum at all times.

I eat with my hands bound. My stomach settles once it’s full, so before we leave, I get Risa to take me someplace to pee, then we’re back on the horses for another two hours. Kazuo remains silent for most of the journey, but he clutches me across my waist when we speed up or slow down. When the wind picks up, he twists my hair and tucks it into the back of my shirt. Chills raise the hair on my arms. I don’t like him touching me in any way, but I don’t complain. He’s taking care of me when no one else cares. His actions are sickening, but I’m grateful for any kindness, no matter how twisted.

“We’re almost there, Sanaa. We’ll make camp for the night, and you’ll be brought before Miura again in the morning. This is his plan for tomorrow and the next day before we meet with Fujiwara.”

“What does he plan to do with me?”

“Humiliate you, of course.” His tone is matter-of-fact, like I should know better than to even ask. I have no fire left in me today, so I don’t answer. I’m exhausted from sitting upright and holding onto the horse, I could sleep forever.

“What did you name the dog?”

“Kumo.” My voice wavers and cracks. I wanted more days and nights spent with Jiro, Kumo, and Momo. We didn’t have enough time to have kids together, but those silly animals belonged to Jiro and me. They were the closest thing we had.

“Sorry,” Kazuo mumbles, and I shake my head in response. I’m not going to say anything else. “I could hear him howling as I took you away.”

“What…” I blow out a long breath so I can control my voice. “What did you do with my family?”

“Nothing. I left them there. I was supposed to hire other people to help me, and I did, but I decided not to take anyone else. My choice, not Miura’s.”

“Why?”

“It’s none of your business.” His cold voice slaps me across the face, as harsh as Emiko, Miura, or Sachi. I wonder if it’s because he regrets his decision or regrets telling me. “We’re stopping. I’ll set you down, and you’re to remain blindfolded until your tent is setup. Risa will take care of you tonight.”

Great. More Risa. Maybe if I sleep, she won’t bother me.

—-

I’m resting in the tent in the evening, curled into a ball on my side, trying not to groan from the constant sickness, when I hear Kazuo and Risa outside.

“Kick your sister out and make room for me in your tent, Kazuo. Riding horses all day does a lot for my sex drive.”

What? No. No No. I wish I could plug my ears. I don’t want to hear about Risa’s sex life.

“It was just the one time. I already told you it’s not happening again.”

Now I’m imagining them together and feeling even more ill than before. My imagination is way too active.

“You feel sorry for her.” Risa’s voice is accusing. She’s talking about me and not Sachi.

“You should feel sorry for her, and the fact that you don’t says a lot about you.”

Score one for me! Kazuo said he was ready to put his money on the winner. What about me? Can I win? I roll over and look at the guard Risa left. He glances up at me, pausing a solitary card game he was occupying himself with, so I turn over and fall asleep for a while.

I’m awoken again some time in the night by Kazuo’s voice ordering the guard inside to get out. A small battery powered lamp in here is turned on low, and, when I roll over, the tent is empty. Before I can figure out what’s going on, Kazuo opens the flap again, and Kentaro creeps into my tent with his index finger up to his mouth. He’s wearing black and has his jō strapped to his back, dressed like we always are for climbing at night. I immediately burst into silent tears, lift up my bound hands, and place them around his neck to hug him tight.

“Gods, when are you ever wrong about anything, Sanaa? I swear you always read every situation correctly,” he whispers in my ear.

“I wish I was wrong this time, trust me,” I whisper back.

“Are you injured?”

“No. My body hurts. I’m bruised, and they’ve been slapping me around but I’m okay.”

“It freaks me out Kazuo is helping me. What did you do to him? He’s seriously the scariest assassin in the book.”

“He’s your family,” I remind him.

“Distant family.”

“He’s been watching us, especially me, for weeks now. He’s been asking me all types of personal questions about the stuff we’ve been doing, about our trip to Izumo…” I rest my head on his shoulder and relax. “I think… I don’t know. He’s cold and indifferent sometimes and then he seems to like me, at least better than he likes everyone else here.”

“He came back looking for my father after you had camped here this afternoon and struck a deal with me. He’d get me in to see you, if I did something for him in the future.”

“What?”

Kentaro’s lip curls, and he shrugs. “He didn’t elaborate. I suspect I sold my soul, but it’s worth it.”

I lift my hands from around his neck, but keep my face close to his. “I need to know what’s going on.”

“Back home? I don’t know. When I left you, I found lodging in a ryokan in a farming town called Mino. It’s right in the center of the continent and surrounded by farmland. I made friends with the owner and stored my belongings with him. The last thing I wanted was to be robbed on my trip and have my tablet stolen, so I left it there. Then I traveled for two days before I found my father in a town not far from here, drinking heavily in a bar. Bastard. He admitted that he teamed up with Miura, and that Miura’s been on the surface almost as long as we have. Everything we received from the shuttle captains was a lie.”

I sigh and look down at my bound hands. The situation is worse than I thought. Kentaro holds my hands, his fingers lightly grazing the leather tied around my wrists.

“I haven’t been on my tablet in days. I don’t know what’s going on or if Sakai and Jiro made it to find the Rokkaku or what. I’m sorry.”

“Can you get me out of here? I have two days. I have to either kill myself or hand myself over to Fujiwara.”

“What about Kohaku and Hiro?”

“They’re still here. Miura wouldn’t let them go.”

“I can’t break you out. Kazuo’s only giving me five minutes, and then I have to get out of camp before Miura knows I’m here. We’re outnumbered. If I left with you now, we’d only have an hour start before they came after you, and I barely know where I’m going.”

I nod. He’s right. It’s a stupid idea.

“I’m taking my father back to Yamato. When you return, we’ll deal with him.”

“Kentaro…” I sob and bring my hands up to my lips to stop myself from blubbering. “I may not come back.”

“Shhh, Sanaa.” He leans forward and puts his cheek to mine. “Do what you can to stay alive as long as possible. I’ll get back to Mino, get my tablet, and get home within the day. Then we’ll come for you.”

“What if Jiro’s dead?” I don’t want to keep going if he’s not with me.

“Jiro? Dead? Not possible. As long as you’re alive, he is.” He smiles at me. I want to believe him, but he’s just trying to keep my hopes up. He doesn’t know anything for sure.

Kazuo opens the tent flap again. “Gotta go. Guard rotation comes back in two minutes.”

Panic. I frantically look around hoping there’s someplace I can stash Kentaro and keep him with me even though I know I can’t. “No. No. No. Don’t go.”

“I have to.” He gets up from his knees, quickly bends over, and kisses me on the forehead. “Be strong, Sanaa.”

Kentaro strides out of the tent, and Kazuo points him in the direction he needs to go.

“Lie down and go back to sleep,” Kazuo instructs, entering the tent. “When the guard comes, you need to pretend like you’ve been asleep this entire time.”

Turning from Kazuo, I lie down and curl up into a ball on the rug. I think passive thoughts, imagining the ocean and beach, and try to calm my breathing. I have to pretend because it’s impossible to fall back to sleep.