Reunited – Chapter 26

“I think I may have the most ballsy wife on the planet,” Jiro mutters behind his glass and our eyes meet as we sip the last of our drinks.

We’re watching someone else play blackjack and smiling and nodding at people as they walk past, but we’re in our own little world. I’m not accustomed to showing affection to Jiro in public, but I slip my free arm around his waist and under Oninoten.

“That was possibly the worst meeting I have ever had. You didn’t say anything.”

“I didn’t think I needed to. You had it under control.”

The shouting, music, and general mayhem of the casino is perfect for covering up this private conversation, but I’m careful to barely move my lips and smile like I’m having the time of my life. The fake happiness is not showing in my eyes, though, I’m sure.

“Maeda is slipping away. He’ll never fully support me.”

“No, he won’t. He has no guts and continually makes poor decisions. Been that way forever. He only sees money, not honor. Good thing you raised his taxes.” Jiro raises an eyebrow at me, and I laugh.

“Speak to Lucy about delaying his video surveillance equipment by a few days, and I think we’ll shut off power to the casino for ten minutes every night this week. Just to screw with him.”

“Mmmm.” Jiro takes my empty glass and his and hands them to a passing waiter. In an unexpected and uncharacteristic move, he pulls me towards him, and my face flushes because people are watching us. “You’re hot when you’re vindictive.”

He leans down and kisses me with such fervor and passion my legs give way. The clamor of the casino dims, and all I can think about is his mouth on mine, our tongues mingling, and how all of my blood is migrating to my lower body. He pulls away but keeps his forehead on mine.

“Jiro,” I warn but my voice is too breathy to be stern, “what are you doing? We’re in public.”

His eyes open, and they are so deep and intense, I begin to shake.

“I’m staking my claim. Showing what’s mine. You. It’s not often you let me dominate you, and I’m taking full advantage of it.”

A million thoughts fly into my head at once. First and foremost, is, wow, this is the sexiest thing ever. I am quaking under his glare. Second, if I run into anyone I know in my next meeting who saw me here, I’m going to be embarrassed. Once Jiro said he would have sex with me in the middle of the street, and I told him he’d be doing it alone. I had no idea he was such an exhibitionist.

“I am yours. Show everyone. I want you to.” I smile up at him.

Jiro rushes in with an even more passionate kiss. I let myself relax into his embrace. I tangle my hands in his hair, push my body against him, and feel his arousal all the way through our kimonos. He’s tasting every part of my lips, tilting my head to the side with his strong hands, and pushing even deeper. Someone behind me whistles, and Jiro pulls back. My eyes fly open, and I gasp for air, my heart beating out a staccato rhythm so fast I feel like I’m in the dōjō.

“There. Now everyone knows it.” Jiro smiles at me, and I blush before glancing around. At least a dozen people stopped in their tracks to watch, and the gamblers at the table next to us are all turned, one woman fanning herself with her hand.

“Let’s go. We have family and friends to see.” Jiro takes my hand and pulls me towards the exit. I follow along with a wide smile on my face, my fingers brushing against my swollen lips.

When we get to the new Izakaya Tanaka, the space is filled with bright and happy people. The noren curtains are over the doorway, the hand-painted signs hang over the sushi and noodle bar to the right, and the maneki-neko line up along the wall on shelves. A little bit of Nishikyō on Yūsei.

The only thing this place lacks is a Western style bar. I guess Sono won’t be mixing up cocktails anymore, but he’s talking with Oyama in the kitchen so I’m sure he has something to do.

“Good evening!” Miko shouts at us as we enter the door. She’s cheerful and a little less tired than she was yesterday. The stress of opening night is absent, and she’s in her element again.

I squeeze her tight. “Congratulations! The place looks amazing, and you have such a big turnout for opening night.”

“Every restaurant and shop in the area are getting the same treatment. It’s nice to see everyone celebrating our success in Yamato. That and the neighborhood association that popped up here helped us space out our openings so we could get the most people each night. I swear I have social obligations for the next ten nights in a row.” She giggles and brushes a bit of rice off her gorgeous dark yellow kimono and jade green obi. “I’m so grateful.”

“Well, you look lovely, and the space is perfect. Exactly how I imagined it would look.”

“You and my brother are a good team, Miko. I’m sure this place will be filled with people every night.”

“Thank you for everything, Jiro. You’ve been a big help.” Miko and Jiro hug each other, and I step out of the way. If I hadn’t been embroiled in all this other nonsense in my life, I would have been here helping more like Jiro. Moments like these make me feel guilty for who I am.

But Miko immediately takes my arm and pulls me towards the noodle bar.

“Come. I want to introduce you to my new staff, and you should have some of this fantastic deep fried whitefish I got for tonight. I know you must be hungry.” She pokes me in the ribs with a wink and a smile.

I laugh and slap at her arm. “You’re terrible.”

“You and Jiro are practically glowing…” She glances back at him. I turn my head, and he’s smiling, watching us go. “And I know he’s leaving tonight. How are you?”

I rest my head on her shoulder. “As good as I can be.”

“Sanaa,” Sakai says, leaning over and giving me a kiss on the cheek when I sit next to him with my dinner. I sink into his kiss. I love Sakai, and I don’t like how this whole colonization has come between us. I want to spend more time with him.

The smile fades from my face as soon as I catch my brain thinking ahead like there’s nothing standing in between me and a long, happy future here. How do I stay upbeat and positive for everyone? They’re counting on me to stay strong. I’m getting weary of having to always be the rock for everyone else, though. Do I not get to be a human and show emotion?

Sakai reaches under the table and squeezes my hand as I watch the crowd around me. I need to distract myself again. My life is a series of distractions.

“So, back to Izumo? Miss it that much?” I do my best to smile, and Sakai chuckles.

“I want to go and return as soon as possible so we can be here for Fujiwara.”

I squeeze his hand back, and we both let go. This wasn’t the distraction I wanted. Grabbing a piece of whitefish tempura, I dip it in soy sauce and eat before I can say anything, but the silence stretches between us while Sakai waits for me to respond.

“It’s fine, Mark. I sort of knew this would happen eventually. You’re both good at spying and acting in disguise. There’s no one more qualified for the job. I just worry that, with you gone, Fujiwara will show up and…” And what? I don’t know.

“Early this coming morning, the ships will leave orbit and make their way back to Earth. We’ve been watching the capital. If Fujiwara is coming, he hasn’t made any moves yet.”

“What if he sends other people to come and get me?”

“Honestly, I think that’s what’s going to happen, especially after seeing the curse this town is under. I think the curse has kept out Fujiwara for a long time. He’s not going to tempt it by coming here himself.”

“What then? Am I saved by this?” I pause eating some broccoli tempura and switch to rice.

“No, because there’ll always be people who don’t believe in the curse. He’ll hire someone to come. Miura doesn’t know where you’re located but Minamoto does. Minamoto most likely won’t give up your location because Kentaro is staying with you. They’re probably negotiating right now. And that’s why, while we still have time, Jiro and I should try to find Sasaki and the Rokkaku.”

I nod my head and the chopsticks rise and fall in time. “Well, you better be quick about it.”

He smiles at me. I love that smile. I have done a lot to earn that smile. “Of course. I think we have about ten days. We’ll try to be back in five.”

—-

I finish what’s on my plate, and talk to Yoichi on the other side of me while sipping on saké. He’s in a happy mood tonight, his smile lighting up his whole face and beaming at Miko whenever she walks by. I’ve always loved Yoichi’s smile. It’s the same as Jiro’s, a sweet mixture of both Koichi and Mariko.

I wonder what our kids will look like. What parts of Jiro will they have? Will they inherit my rounder eyes? What about my freckles? My heart seizes, and I stare out into space, unaware of anyone or anything around me.

Push it away, Sanaa. Push it far, far away.

Yoichi’s hand squeezes mine under the table, and I snap into my professional self. “Sanaa, Jiro’s calling for you.”

He jerks his head at Jiro standing at the end of the table nearest the back door, watching me intently, like a predator. Heavens above, he is really into this domination tonight. I may never be able to go back to the way things were. This is amazingly hot.

Yoichi lets me out from behind the table. I meet Jiro near the door, but he opens it and pulls me through before anyone can notice we’re gone. Outside, the air is brisk, but I am warm with anticipation of whatever he’s going to do. Jiro guides me down the alley and around a bend to another alley behind two quiet, unoccupied buildings. He presses me up against the wall and lays claim to me again, one blood-searing, deep kiss after another.

“What’s gotten into you?” I ask, gulping down a breath. “Whatever it is, I love it. Don’t stop.”

His lips trail down my neck, and he opens my collar so that he can kiss along my shoulder. “I want to live every day like it’s our last from now on.”

I moan when he nibbles on my skin and look up at the starry sky. Jiro bends away from me, his hands pulling my kimono open at the bottom. Mmmm, I see where this is going. Yes.

“You didn’t wear underwear, did you?”

I shake my head at him. He saw me get dressed, but maybe he thought he missed it.

“I would have ripped them off of you if you had.”

My body sinks as he reaches in and touches me, going straight for the kill, not even bothering to try any other foreplay. This is Insistent Jiro. I like Insistent Jiro.“You’re going to make faint right here.”

“No, I’m going to make love to you right against this wall and possess you again just when you least expected it.”

He pushes my kimono aside completely, and before he lifts me up and I wrap my legs around him. Our rhythm together is fast, strong, and consuming, and I am so lost, my emotions a jumble as my body starts to seize up.

“I love you, Sanaa. Only you.”

We both come at the same time, crying out and shaking, and I burst into tears, tears I can’t control, though we’re half naked and panting against a wall outside.

“Jiro, don’t leave me. Don’t go! Please. I can’t live without you. I cannot.” The sobs are too much for me to handle, the climax having knocked them loose from the cage they were in. My brain tells me to shut up, to not tell him these things, but my heart cries for him. I’m sure tonight is our very last night together, that he’ll go, and I’ll never see him again.

He brings his forehead to mine, and gently shushes me. “There’s my love, the one I’ve been waiting for. You’ve been burying your fear too deep and only letting the sadness out.”

With my arms around his neck, I sob into his shoulder, and he hugs me around my chest, quickly pulling out and making me gasp, before setting me down on the ground.

“You’ll go, and you’ll never come back.” I bring my shaking hands to his face, my eyes wide with the fear he’s giving me permission to feel. “I know it. They’ll come for me while you’re gone. Please don’t go. Don’t leave me.”

“Sanaa…” His voice cracks and I sob again hearing it. “I have to, but I know I’ll see you again. I’m sure of it. You can’t keep doing this, hiding your fear from everyone, even me. It’s eating away at you, making you into a shadow of who you really are. Show your fear to me, but be strong for everyone else.”

“My friends and family go on with their lives, making plans for their futures, and I feel like my death is right around the corner. They know my death is right around the corner. I can see it in their eyes. And I’m angry, and sad, and so, so afraid.”

“Shhh, no more talk of death.” He tucks my hair back up over my shoulder. “We need to make it through this ordeal and things will return to normal. I promise.”

Jiro sounds so reasonable, so sure. I should learn to trust his instincts too though mine scream at me to run, run far from here and never come back. He wipes my tears and kisses me again, slow and confident. I want to stay in this kiss and never leave. When he pulls away, he smooths out my hair again and straightens my kimono around my chest.

“I saw you inside just now, and you were so sad and frightened, like a ghost, a fraction of yourself.”

My eyes wander from his, over the deserted alley we’ve occupied. He lightly jerks my face back up, and I start to sob again. Stupid, uncontrollable sobs. “Yoichi was smiling at me and Miko, and I thought of your parents and how you look so much like them, and I was imagining what our kids will look like. What they would look like…”

He kisses me on the forehead but doesn’t say anything. What could he possibly say?

“I feel like I’ll never have our kids. That my life is already over. I think about how this is such a travesty for my family. I always thought my parents would live on in my kids. And now…”

I hang my head. I can’t look at him anymore.

“I miss my parents.” Admitting this makes me feel like a little kid again, but I don’t care. I do miss them, still. I always will. I rest the top of my head against Jiro’s chest.

“Sanaa, why don’t you pace anymore? You used to pace to get the fear and stress out, and now I never see you do it anymore.”

“I don’t know.” I wipe away at my face and look at him again. “I thought I was doing a good job of pushing the fear away and didn’t need it anymore.” I pull him close to me and he kisses the top of my head. “I guess not.”

“You were repressing your fears, and they’re sending you into a depression. Don’t do that anymore.”

“I always thought pacing made me look weak.”

Jiro’s chest shakes and a bit of laughter bubbles up before he sighs. “You’re so funny about appearances sometimes. I don’t think you should be ashamed of pacing in front of your friends and family. Otherwise you hold it together fine. Go back to pacing. It was good for you.”

I nod into his chest.

“I can’t believe it took four orgasms to knock you loose. I knew your subconscious has been way too crowded. When I told you all those years ago that I push aside the fear, I also said I didn’t let it control me. You’ve been storing it up because you haven’t been talking to me. Talk to me. Don’t try to spare me. I can see straight through all of that.”

“Okay. I’m sorry.”

He smiles at me. “Don’t be sorry. I quite enjoyed knocking the fear out of you, especially outside.” He looks up, and I follow his line of sight up to the stars. “And I’m going to keep this up, because wow, it turns you on.”

My face erupts in a blinding blush, and I stare at my feet. “It does.” I blow out a long breath. “It’s nice to have someone else take charge once in a while.”

“Once in a while,” he muses, tucking his hair behind his ears. He’ll gladly hand me back the reins whenever I want them. We both like to control or be controlled by each other. He slips his arm over my shoulder and straightens out his kimono with his other hand. “Come on. Let’s go back in before anyone misses us.”