Reunited – Chapter 16

By six, we’re all ready to go out again for dinner.

“Did you have a good day?” Sitting next to Sakai in the lounge chairs on the wide wooden porch, we stare off into the small front garden that provides a three-meter buffer between the ryokan and the road. With people heading home from work, the greenery hushes the locals’ foot traffic and muttered conversations.

“Yes and no. I got a taste of what it’s like to live here, though.” I yawn and rub at my face before stretching my arms. “I’m still tired, even after a nap.”

“Mariko said you walked all morning.”

“Yeah, but I miss the dōjō already. Walking isn’t the same. Did you enjoy carrying a sword again?” I smile over at him, and he returns it with a roll of his eyes.

“Somewhat. Kazenoho is a lot like Oninoten. Did you know Oninoten was mine before it was Jiro’s?”

I close my eyes and picture a young Sakai, hip and stylish with Oninoten on his back. I bet he was hot. No wonder my mother kept going back to him.

“No. I didn’t know, but I can imagine you carrying it. Have you talked to Lucy since we got here?”

“I messaged her a little while ago since the ryokan owners are gone. She misses us.”

Jiro exits the ryokan and walks to us on the porch. He’s wearing a gray button-down shirt and black pants, and he’s fresh from a shower. Sigh. I’m married to this handsome guy. I still can’t believe it some days.

“Stand up,” he says, taking my hand. He sits down in the chair and pulls me onto his lap. I smile down at him before self-consciously glancing over my shoulder at Sakai. Jiro brushes my hair aside and smiles back at me. “You’re blushing,” he whispers.

“Stop.” I whisper back and smack him on the chest.

Sakai’s staring off into the garden with a small smile on his face, pointedly not watching us. The days between intimate moments for Jiro and me grow numerous the more work I have to do. Here in Izumo, I’m anonymous and I can kiss my husband if I want to, and no one will wonder why I so boldly display my affection. I lean in slow and let our lips meet softly. Jiro’s hand reaches up and he pulls me into an even deeper kiss that thrills me straight down my spine. I wiggle my butt in his lap and laugh when I’m sure I’ve turned him on.

“Get a room,” Kentaro says and chuckles.

Jiro and I break off and smile at each other. He’s not sheepish or ashamed but proud. He grabs both my hands and kisses my knuckles. My lungs burn with questions because he seems changed to me. It’s just a feeling deep in my gut, but I know better than to distrust my instincts. What happened today while they were all gone?

Sakai rises from his chair, and when I turn, my embarrassed blush grows because everyone is watching us on the porch. Sakai heads straight to Kentaro and pokes him on the chest. “You’re not drinking tonight.”

“Fine by me,” he replies. The area around his eyes is gloomy, like a storm blooming. When I smile at him, he looks away.

“Sanaa and I have reservations for dinner, and the rest of you are on your own.” I lift myself from Jiro’s lap, he takes my hand, and another thrill goes through me. Date night! “We’ll be back by eight-thirty.”

We exit through the front gate, and Jiro leads me to the right. I glance back and Mariko is watching us go, her shawl wrapped around her shoulders tight before she takes Sakai’s arm and walks off with everyone else. Did I imagine a slight smile? I’m not sure.

I squeeze his hand and he squeezes back. “I’m not sure if I’ve apologized lately for this, but I feel selfish for prying you from your family.”

“Shhh,” he says, stopping and pulling me to the side. “You know I love them, but before you came along, my relationship with them was rocky at best. If anything, you made my relationship with them stronger than it could ever be. Made me stronger. Don’t worry over this. Like you said, you have enough stress.”

I chew the inside of my cheek and assess him. Older-post-hibernation Jiro is more forthcoming about his feelings than before we went to sleep for seven years. Now, he’s more likely to share his doubts or his excitement with me than before. Hibernation broke down a wall between us I didn’t even know was there.

We walk in silence for a couple of blocks, listening to the sounds of Izumo. A bicycle shoots past us on the street, its owner ringing a bell as he flies past other people. A family walks in front of us, a mother, father, and a little girl between them holding both their hands. The little girl is telling her mother about her day at school. When people pass us, they either smile and bow or say, “Good evening.” Jiro smiles back, but I keep my eyes low and try not to make eye contact.

“Is something the matter?” Jiro asks, once we’ve cleared a crowd of people. “Why are you so shy? It’s not like you.”

“Let’s talk about this later,” I mumble as another old man walks by, his eyes glued to my face, brow furrowed in confusion. He turns to watch us until we round the corner. I let out a held breath slowly, and my belly growls in an unhappy manner. I hope I can eat dinner.

“Okay, well, here we are. We can talk over pizza or pasta or whatever you’d like.” Jiro gestures to the restaurant we’ve come upon. A little trattoria!

“You look stunned.” Jiro doubles over in a laugh. “Mark, Oyama, and I were all over town today, and the food choices here are diverse even if the nationalities are not. The owner of this restaurant had ancestors who studied Italian cuisine in Italy before the wars. Oyama went in, checked it out, and determined the food was excellent. Come.”

He opens the door, and I walk in but immediately halt as a greeter comes walking up to me. “You do the talking,” I whisper to Jiro, and he frowns but nods.

The greeter smiles at Jiro, makes eye contact with me, and an expression of disapproval washes over his face as I smile at him. Shit.

“You’re not from around here, are you?”

Jiro smiles, his face softening and becoming congenial. He’s a lot like Sakai, able to put on the mask of whatever emotion is needed in each circumstance. I think he’s only ever unguarded when he’s with me.

“My wife and I are from the capital, visiting for the week.” Jiro glances around at the restaurant, and half the tables are already full at this early hour. “We have reservations.” He’s short and to the point, leaving no room for questions.

The greeter frowns at me again, and I act bored by examining my nails.

How am I back in this situation already? When I first started Sakai’s research in Ku 1, watching the clans, I was hyper-aware of my half-Japanese status. I knew I was different but grew up not caring because I didn’t live in Ku 6. It’s not like I was the only half-Japanese person in Nishikyō, and I had Helena and Miko, so being different didn’t matter. Then I was thrust back into the Japanese way of life. I showed Sakai and his family I was just as capable as any of them. But this? I’m not sure I’ll ever be accepted here.

There’s a long pause, a hesitation during which I think he’s about to tell us to get the hell out of his restaurant, but after looking at Jiro again and Oninoten on his back, the greeter smiles and gestures us in. We’re shown to a booth in the rear of the restaurant, away from most of the other customers. I sit on the inside facing the door and Jiro sits next to me. I’m handed a hot hand towel by a smiling waitress, and a basket of bread and water glasses are left on the table before she departs.

Wiping down each of my fingers with the towel, I sigh and rest my face in my hands once they’re dry, my elbows propped up on the table. “Gods. It’s really apparent I’m not full-blood Japanese amongst these people. He’s the fourth person today who has stared at me like I have two heads. They know something is wrong but can’t pinpoint it.”

Jiro places his hand on my back. “Is that what’s going on? I don’t even see it anymore.”

“I’m afraid to walk the streets here. I think today is my last day out and about in this city.” I take my face out of my hands and grab bread instead. “I can only imagine how they’re going to react to Lucy or all the other non-Japanese.”

“That old man almost stopped us a few blocks back. I was wondering why he was looking at you so fiercely. Do you really look all that different?” He leans away from me and compares me to the other women in the restaurant. “It’s so hard for me to tell because we grew up in Nishikyō. I guess your skin is lighter. Your eyes are rounder and your nose is just a little less flat. You’re the only pretty girl with freckles here.” He touches my nose with his index finger, and I blush. “But your hair is straight and black and everything else about you is Japanese. I didn’t expect anyone to notice.”

Jiro looks at me and then everyone in the restaurant. The waiter sees him and starts to make his way over to us. “Quick. What would you like for dinner?” he asks.

“Pizza. I haven’t had pizza in forever but have noodles all the time.”

He gives the waiter our order and asks for red wine as well. I keep my eyes low and pretend to adjust my top. Once the waiter is gone, Jiro removes my hand from my shirt, laces his fingers with mine, and holds my hand under the table.

“I want to go back to Nishikyō. Everything here is wrong. I want to go back to my home, our apartment, sit in Izakaya Tanaka and be happy again. I’m not sure I could be happy living like this, prohibited from doing the most basic things. I was chased out of a saké shop today, just for looking.” I dab at the tears in the corners of my eyes with my napkin but keep my head low when the waiter comes back with two glasses of red wine. They must grow grapes somewhere on the continent. That’s something I’d like to see.

Grabbing the glass, I swirl the wine like Oyama taught me, smell it, and taste, but my mind is distracted, and I can’t enjoy it. I don’t even know myself anymore. Since when do I cry over stuff like this? I’m so emotional lately for no good reason, and I’m angry for not being stronger.

“Usagi told me what happened today. It’s a serious problem, I’ll admit, and I also have to admit I hate seeing you meek. It makes me seethe with anger that other people are forcing you to act like this. If only they knew who you are.”

Oh no. My heart starts pounding. “No. This is way out of hand. I don’t care if I have imperial blood now. I’m a woman and a half-blood at that. There’s no way I’ll ever be accepted here. We can’t ever tell them who I am.”

“Sanaa…” His tone is scolding, and his eyes are sad even if his face is angry with me.

“If I can’t go back to Nishikyō, then I just want to stay in Yamato where I can be free. Where we can be free. I can’t carry a sword here, fight hand-to-hand… I can’t even go into some stores or sit under the stars at night. No more going to the casino. I bet that’s banned as well. How can I live my life like that?”

Jiro picks up his glass and sips and the pause gives me a chance to hear what I just said. This is only the tip of the things I’ll be banned from doing — all the women of Earth and then probably the minorities too.

“Sanaa, I don’t think you understand.” He puts his glass down, takes my other hand, and looks me in the eyes. Serious Jiro again. He’s been serious a lot lately. “You’ll never live your life like that. Never. This three-day excursion into their town is a glimpse of what your life would be like if we didn’t take charge of Yūsei for ourselves.”

“What right do we have to come in here and tell them their ways are wrong? Won’t they say the same about us? This is a path they chose. When they left Earth, Japan wasn’t like this. Japan was modern and equal. They were the ones who built Nishikyō. Why these people decided to slip so far into the past is beyond me.”

His mouth quirks, like he has a private joke he won’t share with me. “We’ll show them, Sanaa. We’ll show them how we all live together and how good it is when we don’t deny people basic rights. You didn’t see what I saw today. We can definitely do this.”

My scalp prickles, all of the hair on my head standing up, and from far off into the distance, my hearing rings, lower to higher, deafening. We’re staring at each other and the connection is electric hot, but I feel cold all the way down to my bones.

“What… what did you see?” My voice is a whisper as déjà vu circles on the outskirts of my consciousness like a cat stalking its prey.

“Our future, Sanaa. It’s right here.” Jiro smiles and leans towards me, his lips landing on the soft spot under my ear. I close my eyes and concentrate on his soft touch as I hear our pizza hit the table. “And after dinner, I’ll show you.”