Removed – Chapter 28

When late morning comes and I stretch out in my new large bed, Jiro is still next to me, his face sweet and innocent in sleep. I keep thinking about how we got here. Our families are interconnected, yet before New Year’s Eve, I had no memory of ever meeting him. If things had been different, we would have grown up together. Maybe our parents would have tried to match us from a young age? Maybe they did. Regardless, here he is with me.

He must sense I’m watching him because he stirs after only a minute and wakes to find me smiling at him.

“Morning. How did you sleep?”

“Hi. Well, I think.” He yawns and stretches, and I snuggle into the space right under his arm. “I like your bed. It’s comfortable especially with you in it.”

I wrap my arms and legs around him and hug him. Gods, this makes me happy.

Jiro yawns again. “Did you know you talk in your sleep?”

“What did I say?”

He laughs and hugs me tighter. “Nothing much. Just a lot of mumbling. Did I snore?”

“No. Do you usually?”

“Sometimes. Depending on how much I’ve had to drink.”

“Well, you didn’t snore and are the perfect bed companion.”

“Good because I don’t think I’m sleeping alone anymore.”

I’m not sure if I could hug him any tighter, but I want to.

“Are you happy about that?” I ask him.

“Yes, very. Can’t you tell?”

I lift my head and smile at him. “You do seem to be happy. There are a lot more smiles and less stern Sakai-like looks. You two are so similar.”

“I’ve heard,” he says, yawning again. “You’re not the first to say so. Are you happy?”

“I am. As happy as I can be with everything going on.” It’s completely true. I thought yesterday I would spiral into a depression over my loss of privacy and the sheer weight of what’s in store for me, but I spent the night alone with Jiro, and his presence made everything bearable. He’s still here. He didn’t sneak out in the middle of the night and leave me. If I can have this every night, I think I can survive.

“Mark said he was coming over in the morning,” I say with a yawn. “You should probably go home and get dressed before he shows up.”

“You’re right.” He stretches and sits up next to me, running his hands through his messy hair. Mmmm.

I already know what I want just looking at him. I do want to spend every night with him, live with him, and start our life together right now. Is that crazy? It feels completely reckless and head-strung, but he did say he wanted to stick by me. Did he really mean it?

“Jiro…” I hope I’m making the right choice. I can barely look at him I’m so nervous. “If you wanted to, you could move some of your things over here. You wouldn’t have to go back and forth, and Yoichi and Miko could have the place to themselves.”

Jiro reaches over and touches my hair, moving it off my right shoulder. “Are you asking me to move in?”

I hate when he and Sakai do this to me, answer my entreaties with questions. They can be frustrating, especially when I’m so nervous I could throw up.

“Only if you’re going to say yes.”

He leans over and kisses me on my shoulder, running his hand down my back.

“Of course, I’m going to say yes. I was going to suggest the same thing but was worried I was taking things too fast. I didn’t want to scare you off…”

“As you can plainly see…” I sweep my hand over my new bedroom in my new apartment as part of my new cloistered life. “I am not going anywhere.”

“True. Have Beni save me a drawer.”

I smile at him and let out a deep breath. I don’t want to ever doubt Jiro, but our relationship is a few months old and only recently romantic. Each time I think I may be reading him wrong, he shows me I’m not.

He gets up, and I watch him dress even though I’d like to pull him back in bed.

“Should I send Beni and Risa in to finish unpacking? They live up the hall.”

“Who are they anyway?” My apartment is warm, but I pull on my undershirt and pants before taking my shower because I’d like to see Jiro to the door.

“Second cousins. Beni is on my mother’s side. She’s twenty-six. Risa is on Sakai’s side of the family. She’s twenty-three. Almost everyone who lives in this building is related somehow.” He tightens up his pants and slips on his shirt as we walk to the door. “So, the big party is tonight, though only after we go back to the dōjō and train. You still need to learn how to use Kazenoho.”

“I love training so no complaints from me.”

Jiro turns to me at the door.

“I love that you love iaido and all the sword fighting. You’re not the first person I’ve trained and not the first woman either. Everyone else quit because I pushed them too hard.”

I can’t imagine Jiro training anyone else but me.

“Wusses. All of them,” I say with the most serious face I can manage.

I open the door and send him across the hall laughing. I’m glad when it’s the two of us, I can be playful or silly, just be myself because from now on, I’m going to have to be more commanding and decisive in front of other people. More imperial, I suppose. I’m going to have to dig deep, starting now.

I look like I rolled straight out of bed with my hair down and a mess but I turn to Usagi who is standing at the end of the hall speaking with another security guard and say, “Beni and Risa. Fifteen minutes.” He nods at me and gives no indication whether he approves of my new living arrangements with Jiro. Good. It’s none of his business anyway.

“Please leave the bottom two drawers empty, Beni. Move anything that doesn’t fit into the closet.”

“Of course, Sanaa.”

Beni doesn’t even question me. I like her. Risa, on the other hand…

“What are the drawers for?” Risa is emptying my belongings onto the shelves above my desk, and I’m inclined to ignore her. Both of these girls are older than I am, but they’re in Sakai’s employ and now mine. I will have to be assertive.

“Jiro is moving in later today. Please make sure you leave space for his things.”

“Really? In here? With you?” she asks. I have just come from getting dressed in the bathroom and pause in brushing out my hair. Risa cocks her head to the side, scanning me up and down. She thinks I’m not good enough for Jiro. “Does Sakai know?”

“It’s none of his business, and none of yours either. Understood?” I’ve been practicing my steely eyed stare of authority, and it seems to be working. Risa backs down immediately.

“Yeah, understood. It’s none of my business.”

Beni paused in her work but started up again once Risa apologized. Otherwise she completely ignored us. I’m keeping her.

The door chimes, and Sakai is with Usagi and no one else.

“Have you had breakfast yet? I was going to send Oyama for food.” They both kick off their shoes at the door, and Sakai sets his bag on the couch while Usagi slowly walks around the room.

“I talked to him before I got in the shower, and he’s cooking next door. Should be back soon.”

Sakai’s face broadens in a wide smile. “I’m glad you’re already taking advantage of the staff. You’re settling in nicely.”

“You seem pleased.”

“I am. I was a little worried in Ku 1 yesterday, but you seemed to have come around.”

I think Sakai is happy I didn’t throw up on him yesterday. Anything other than that is an improvement.

I sit down next to him and face him while eyeing Usagi. He is still pacing the room, examining everything.

“Mark, I need something.” Be strong and assertive, Sanaa. “I want a small part of my life to be private. When I close the door, I want no questions about what happens behind it.”

Sakai’s eyes narrow at me, the questions already brewing. “What did you have in mind?”

“I trust you. You can always ask me anything, of course. I’ve asked Jiro to move in, and he is. You said it’s none of your business, but in a way, my business is your business. Still, it’s nobody else’s.”

“I see.”

A long silence passes between the two of us, and I want to turn and tell Usagi to sit down already, but I stop myself.

“Sanaa, you know Jiro is next in line after me to lead Sakai clan?”

“Yes, this is why I thought I should tell you.”

“I told you once that others wouldn’t be happy with you aligning yourself with my clan, and I meant it. It’s the main reason why your mother and I fell apart. But it’s also the main reason why I will not stick my nose in your love life. I won’t do to you what they did to me. Jiro knows everything?”

“He does. I told him everything. Every last thing.” He nods at me. I don’t think he wanted Jiro to hear all of his secrets as well, but it’s too late now.

When Beni and Risa are done in the bedroom, I task them to unpack the kitchen items my aunts gave to me: a few dishes, chopsticks and silverware, some glasses and mugs, my saké set, and my coffee maker and grinds. Oyama arrives with food, and Jiro steps across the hall to join us.

“Sanaa and I have business to discuss. Jiro, you’re to stay. Everyone else please take your food to go.” Sakai directs everyone with his stone-like glare, but no one seems affected. They must all be used to his serious nature by now. Usagi files out the door with Beni and Risa right behind him. Risa glances at Jiro as she walks out, and I meet her eyes quickly before she looks away. She seems preoccupied with Jiro, I think.

“I’ve set aside food for you, Sanaa.” Oyama bows to me and follows everyone. At the table, I smile down at my plate of rice, miso soup, tofu, soy salmon, seaweed, and a glass of water. Despite being fiercely independent my whole life, I love when others feed me. I will have to teach Oyama to make coffee, though. Once I get the coffee brewing, I sit down with Sakai and Jiro. They dig into their rice first.

“As I was telling Sanaa earlier, her private life is her own business, but I understand I’m to find you here in the future, Jiro.”

I smile at Jiro across the table, and he laughs. “No more secrets, I guess. Yes, I’m moving in.” I love that Jiro doesn’t ask permission.

“I’m happy for you two,” Sakai says, smiling at each of us, “and I’m sure your parents and aunts will be, too. It’s a good match. Excellent even. And one both your parents hoped for a long time ago.”

I feel like I’ve finally done something right, something my parents would be happy about. Jiro’s socked feet rub up against mine under the table. Fate is truly strange and wonderful.

“Koichi, Mariko, and I were talking last night. These next few days, week maybe, will be critical. My spies tell me Matsuda still has not spilled the beans. I don’t know what he’s waiting for, but I doubt he’ll wait much longer. At some point, you’re going to have to come out to Minamoto, Taira, and Maeda and hope we can garner support from two out of three of them, if not all. Tonight will be our last private night, so enjoy it.”

I’m looking forward to getting dressed up and attending Miko and Yoichi’s engagement party with our families. I’m nervous for Aunt Kimie and Lomo, though. I hope all goes well for them tonight.

“Four days from now is a big event, a taiko drumming troupe will be performing at the Izumi theater. I plan on that being your ‘coming out,’ Sanaa, but we can talk about it later.”

I gulp down some water to get the food stuck in my throat moving towards my stomach. A public appearance. My nerves are going to kill me.