Released – Chapter 5

At noon on our fifth day together, Jiro and I sit down to have our last meal at the house. I’m happy with how the time has gone by since Jiro arrived. We spent our stolen holiday laughing, talking, and making love whenever we wanted. I barely got dressed, just wanting to lie in bed and hold Jiro’s warm body to me or listen to his breathing and beating heart. This time was freedom, freedom I have never had. Freedom from work, from life, from my family except my love. I treasured every moment because I doubt we’ll ever have this again.

Jiro opens the freezer and decides to defrost the last two curry dishes so I load up the rice cooker to go along with it. While we’re sitting and eating, a low, soft hum builds to a high-pitched whine. Looking out the window, though, I see nothing but desert.

“I think Sakai is here. The airbase is on the other side of this cliff.”

“The space elevator is over there, too?”

“Yes. It’s wonderful. I can’t wait for you to see it.”

The whine outside fades, and a metallic thump similar to the one I heard on the morning Jiro arrived here echoes outside the door.

Soft footsteps approach from the other side. I set down my chopsticks, get up and run to the door, pull it open, and Sakai is standing in front of me. His hair is pulled back but tousled up by the wind, he’s dressed in Nishikyō grays, and a smile is on his face. Oh gods, I missed him. I throw my arms around his neck, my feet leaving the ground as he picks me up and hugs me back.

“Mark, I missed you.”

I did, I really did, even though anger quickly replaces everything.

Pulling back from him, I smack him hard right across the face. My hand stings, and his eyes are closed, his cheek blossoming bright red. “You’re lucky I’m not armed.”

“I missed you, too, Sanaa.” Sakai gently touches his cheek, his eyes shining with the smallest of tears, probably brought on by my slap. He deserved it. I step back to him and hug him again around his chest.

“Don’t ever leave me like that again. Ever.”

He hesitates only a moment and hugs me back. “I’m sorry. I have good reasons for leaving you here alone.”

“I’m sorry I hit you. I’m sorry.” We release from the hug at the same time, and I wipe my tears away and glance over at Jiro. He didn’t move from the table. I wonder how mad at Sakai he still is.

“Jiro,” Sakai says, stiffly

“Sakai,” Jiro responds, his face like stone.

Uh, oh. I think they both might be mad at each other.

“Mark, come and eat with us.”

I cannot have the two most important men in my life angry with each other. Sakai takes off the bag he’s wearing, and I put my hand on his back and lightly push him to the table. I sit him across from Jiro, and while they’re staring at each other in silence, I grab lunch for Sakai. Slipping into the chair next to Jiro at the window, I place my hand on his knee and squeeze.

“You can’t be angry with each other forever,” I say, breaking their silence. “I love you both. Your relationship with each other is as important as your relationship with me, and you’ll forgive each other because I forgive you.”

They both soften a little, so I continue. “You took care of me when I was injured, and I couldn’t take care of myself. But I know Jiro feels guilty for making me leave him during the fight, and Mark, you feel guilty for bringing me here and not telling Jiro until I was already gone. And I’m angry for being left so utterly alone. But it’s done, and everyone is still alive, so let’s just put this situation behind us, okay?”

Sakai, with his passive face, examines me for a moment before sighing. “I’m sorry, Sanaa. I’m sorry, Jiro.”

I squeeze Jiro’s knee a little more. Give in, Jiro. You’re so stubborn sometimes.

“Okay, I’m sorry, Sakai. I shouldn’t have punched you.”

I clap my hands once and smile. “Great. Everyone’s forgiven. Let’s eat.” They both smirk at me identically, mirror twins of each other twenty years apart.

I start eating, and they each hesitate before picking up their chopsticks.

“The shuttle will be back for us in an hour, and we have a lot to talk about before they arrive. You’ve lost a lot of weight, though. Oyama will not be happy.”

Sakai wants a little small talk before he leads into whatever big issues he needs to discuss.

“He can cook me four meals a day if he wants when we get home.” And I know Oyama will stand over me as I eat each one. I no longer care. I’ll be happy to have him there.

“Good. He and Usagi can’t wait to have you back.” He sighs and puts his chopsticks down. “I’m assuming Jiro filled you in on Taira and what happened with Beni?” Jiro and I both nod. “It was a devastating few weeks for everyone, and I had to act fast. Obviously, Miura was prepared to strike at the theater. He had many men armed and ready and the ninjas… but only family knew you were going to be there.”

“I’ve been thinking the same thing since the fight,” Jiro says. He and Sakai examine each other with their passive faces. How do they read each other, ever?

“Is someone a… spy?” I ask, my world rapidly shrinking. I never suspected anyone close to me. Who?

“Yes.” Sakai nods, his eyes focused past me. “I have my suspicions, but I’m not sure yet. I’m sorry, Sanaa. I had to move you fast and not tell anyone you were gone until I dropped you off here. I had to make sure you were absolutely safe. I wanted to leave Beni with you, and if she hadn’t lost what was left of her family, she would’ve been here.

“We need to be cautious. Now that we’ve subdued Taira clan, I’m wondering how many other free agents like Matsuda are out there. It’s not just you I’m worried about now. I’m worried about my whole family especially Mariko’s side that has all become Sakai clan in the last forty years. Taira held a grudge and others do too since we’re so connected to your line. Now that Koichi is gone…” Both he and Jiro hang their heads and tears spring to my eyes. “Mariko is even more my responsibility.”

He stops and eats for a minute while we all sit in silence. Many responsibilities exist for all of us right now.

“Sanaa, before I left, Yoshinori Minamoto requested that, once you are recovered, you meet with him to discuss his family’s support.”

I expect a smile on Sakai’s face but none appears.

“You don’t seem pleased at all. This is good news, right?” Neither Sakai nor Jiro reassure me. They sit in silence, Jiro’s knee rubbing against mine under the table. “Or… wait, there must be a price for his support?”

“Most likely. He has a son who is twenty-two. I suspect he’s hoping you’ll take him as a consort.”

“No.” Both Jiro and I say at the same time. I shakily take his hand, and he squeezes my fingers tight.

Sakai smiles at me. “I thought you’d say that. It’s only a guess, but I believe I’m right. Still, if we go into this meeting with him, we can’t say no and walk away. He’ll want some sort of compromise. You need to think about what you could offer instead.”

I have no idea what I could possibly offer Minamoto, but I nod anyway. “You haven’t heard at all from Maeda?” Noboru Maeda, the head of Nishikyō’s largest yakuza clan, was the last to bow to me. I don’t expect him to come around easily.

“No. Not yet.”

I bet Maeda thinks he can ignore me, and I’ll just go away. What does he think of me? What has he learned about me from other sources?

“Sakai,” Jiro starts, but Sakai raises his hand.

“Wait.” He takes a big breath and sighs. “You should start calling me Mark, too. At the very least, here, with family. You’re my family, Sanaa’s my family, you two are… well, I have no doubt you’d be on your way to marriage if that law wasn’t in the way. It makes no sense for us to be so formal amongst each other.”

This is a huge peace offering, and Jiro’s face cracks and softens even more. Sakai has been his teacher, his uncle, and the head of his family. Now with Koichi gone, they’ll be even closer.

“Mark, Sanaa and I have concerns over her safety going forward. I’m aware it’s late in Sanaa’s life to be learning brand-new skills but she picked up the sword fighting so fast. I think she’s ready to move on to more important training.”

“‘Important’ as in?” Sakai lifts an eyebrow at Jiro.

I lean forward and make eye contact. “It’s no use trying to hide from me anymore. I know about your ninjutsu training, and I want those skills for myself.”

Sakai’s head swivels from me to Jiro to me and back to Jiro again before muttering “the death of me” under his breath.

“Fine!” He throws his hands up in the air. “You want to be a ninja and an empress? Go for it. It sounds like an excellent idea.” It sounds like he thinks it’s the worst idea I’ve ever come up with, but I’ll show him I can do it. I will.

“Will you teach me?” I ask, barely able to stop from bouncing in my seat.

“Yes, of course I will,” he says with a sigh. “If you’re going to do this, you’ll do it right, and you’ll do it exceptionally well, or you won’t do it at all. Understood?”

“Yes,” I say with the biggest, widest smile I have.

Jiro laughs and shakes his head. I’m sure I resemble an eager child hoping for dessert.

“I’ll teach you all the mental skills, and Jiro can teach you all the physical ones. Please do not end up in the hospital again.”

—-

It’s time to go. Sakai opens the door and in front of us is a twenty meter long hallway-like tunnel carved into the rock of the cliff this house is embedded into. At the end of the tunnel, a metal ladder leads up to a heavy metal door.

“I’ll go first. Sanaa, you follow me, and Jiro will bring up the rear. Can you do this?”

I nod at him and swallow through a throat parched and dry. I will no longer be inside. I can do this. I can do this. ‘I can do this’ is my new mantra.

As Sakai starts to climb, I turn and whisper to Jiro. “When we get up there, put your arm around me please and make sure I don’t faint and hit my head again.” I’m not sure how many more traumas my head can take.

He smiles and kisses me on the cheek. “Okay. Be brave.”

Sakai spins the wheel and pushes the door open. Beyond his shoulder, blue sky stretches to infinity. Look down, Sanaa, and climb.

I place one hand over the other, grabbing and pulling myself up with each cold metal rung of the ladder, and, before I know it, I’m hit dead in the face with the hottest air I have ever felt. It must be at least fifty degrees out here! I close my eyes for a brief moment.

I can’t do this.

“Come on.” Jiro reaches up and squeezes my shin. “Sakai’s waiting out there.”

Move your legs, Sanaa. Get off the ladder and on the ground.

My body listens to my brain, and I climb out of the airlock, my feet hitting sandy, gravel covered ground.

Sakai steps up to my side, grabs my hand, and I turn my face into his arm, opening one eye to take in my surroundings. We’re on a mountain cliff stretching several kilometers in the middle of the desert. In the distance, six other airlocks are jutting out of the ground. The houses were embedded in the cliff to keep out even more ambient radiation than the man-made materials could protect against. Pretty smart.

Closing my one open eye, I turn my head and look out the other side. A small, six-person shuttle is waiting for us about twenty meters away, and, off on the other side of the cliff, the desert flattens into the gray pavement and buildings of an airbase.

But what really catches my attention is the space elevator in the distance. A large, squat building sits on the ground with a ribbon stretching out of the roof way up into the sky. Someday soon, I’ll be loaded into a ribbon carriage and climb into orbit for the long trip to Yūsei.

Jiro comes up next to me, slips his arm over my shoulder and under my other arm. “Did you see it?” he asks as I turn my face from Sakai with my eyes closed.

“Yes, Jiro. Let’s go.” I don’t want to sound disappointed because Jiro’s so excited, but I’m barely staying conscious. Between the heat and my impending anxiety attack, I can’t breathe. I direct my sight down and follow Sakai’s feet.

We make it to the shuttle, the doors close, and I breathe a huge sigh of relief. I can’t believe I was outside that long and didn’t pass out. I’m improving.

The whole process from the short-range shuttle to the airbase then through security and onto the long-range shuttle is confusing and annoying. I stand and wait while Sakai sorts everything out. I let my hand be scanned and occasionally glance out the window when I get up the nerve. Once I’m in my seat, I lay my head on Jiro’s shoulder and fall asleep for the duration of the flight.