Released – Chapter 43

Turns out that twelve hours of fasting, even in space with an amazing view, is pretty boring. We’re all changed into one-piece flight suits with short sleeves so IVs can be inserted with the bags snaked up and strapped to our backs. Then we hang around the multi-purpose room for hours on end.

At first, we have fun playing in zero gravity. But after spinning in place, throwing objects across the room, and playing pranks on each other for an hour, everyone calms down and lazes about. Near the window are plenty of chairs so we can strap in and rest. Aunt Kimie, Lomo, Miko’s parents, Mariko, and Beni all sit down and take a nap.

“I’m pretty tired, but I don’t want to go to sleep. I think sleeping for seven years is enough.”

On the ‘floor’ are footholds in front of the window, so you can ‘stand’ and look out instead of floating. Jiro cruises over and sticks his feet in, and I maneuver myself into his arms being careful of our IVs. Sakai and Lucy do the same thing all the way on the other end of the window. Miko and Yoichi are off in a corner together. Usagi and Oyama are reading on their tablets, strapped in at a table. I wish more individual rooms existed for some privacy, but at least we all know each other enough to not care about witnessing intimate last moments.

“I’m so glad we had time together before we left,” Jiro whispers into my ear. “I want to make sure you’re the last person I see before I go to sleep.”

The tears start, and I can’t stop them, but they’re so strange. They break away from my face and float up in and amongst Jiro’s hair. He backs up for a moment and laughs.

Gods. Everything is funny in zero gravity, even my sadness.

I take the opportunity to spend time with everyone during the twelve hours. We float around and switch with each other every hour. I talk with Miko about the days she and Yoichi spent together before we left. Yoichi and Jiro stare out the window, murmuring quietly to each other. I sit and hold hands with both my aunts and chat about things we did when I was younger, but we fall silent after a while once Aunt Lomo starts to cry. Then I sit with Mariko and Beni and we discuss the first foods we’ll eat when we’re finally on Yūsei. We have our priorities.

Hibernation technicians come back in around the seven-hour mark and change everyone’s IV bags. Usagi is escorted away by a hibernation tech after they have a whispered discussion. I wonder where he’s off to?

At the eleven-hour mark, the lead hibernation tech comes in and asks to speak with us all. The time has come to decide who wants to sleep first and who wants to be with whom when they go to sleep.

Sakai and Lucy offer to go first.

“I think we’ll be fine on our own. Right, Mark?”

My heart skips a beat. Don’t cry anymore, Sanaa.

Aunt Kimie and Lomo offer to go next, and I will be with them both. Miko’s parents are after them. Usagi and Oyama, then Miko and Yoichi. Mariko and Beni will stay with Miko and Yoichi, and Jiro and I will stay with Mariko and Beni. And finally, Jiro and I will sleep. We’ll be the last awake.

Sakai and Lucy leave with a wave of their hands. I want to throw myself after them, hug and kiss, and make a scene like some old Italian grandmother sobbing over the casket of a loved one, but instead I smile and wave back. This is hard enough without added drama.

After ten minutes, Aunt Kimie and Lomo are next, and I float down the hall behind them to Hibernation Chamber 2-1.

“This ship can hold four thousand people in hibernation for the trip,” the technician says, leading us through a door to a small room where two suits are waiting for Aunt Kimie and Lomo.

“Wow. Four thousand people? What about the other ships?” I ask. So many people in here, already asleep.

“They’re all the same design except for the cargo ship which is, well, just cargo. All of your belongings. But the new ships will carry six thousand people per ship, and the hyperdrives can perform longer jumps, so they will make it to Yūsei faster than we will. We expect second wave to arrive only one year behind us.”

“Then do you turn around and go back?”

“Yes, the crew that does the last leg will go back with an empty ship. They expect the trip back to take less time due to course adjustments.”

There’s so much I never knew about colonization.

Aunt Kimie and Lomo strip down naked after having their IVs unhooked, and I haven’t seen either of them like this in a long time so I avert my eyes. They’re each given special underwear to wear which the technician explains is similar to a diaper and is changed frequently the first couple of weeks, then a catheter is inserted while we sleep.

To aid in this, the hibernation suits (which we were all measured for before we left) slip over the head, down the arms (there’s a cutout for the IV), then the suit is pulled down your body and has a zipper up and down the legs so the lower half of the body can be accessed. This all makes me nervous for a minute that my lower body will be out for everyone to see but the technician smiles and seems really sweet. I guess we have to trust some people.

While my aunts get dressed, I remember I forgot to ask about Helena.

“Oh, yes! Our nanotech superwoman? She’s doing great already. Sleeping peacefully three decks down. Her doctor is bunking down with us for a few months before going into hibernation herself. Remarkable stuff. Mr. Harada went to visit her earlier.”

So that’s where Usagi took off to. He saw Helena with his own eyes. I’m sure he would have said something if she were not right.

The hibernation pods area is astonishingly large, ten units high and hundreds of units long. They do remind me eerily of the morgue but everything is bright and warm and each pod is clear so we can see into it. To the right of Aunt Kimie and Lomo’s beds, which are extracted from the wall, Sakai and Lucy are already asleep. It happens so fast. They were awake not ten minutes ago!

Sakai’s face is peaceful, his hair undone. I’ve grown to love that face over this year — it could be stern or happy, sad or loving. And Lucy, she is the best kind of person. I’m lucky to have them both in my life.

All of these goodbyes are making me mushy.

“Sanaa, it’s our big moment. For the longest time, I never believed we’d be here, but we are.” Aunt Kimie pulls me to her, and Aunt Lomo sandwiches me between them. I love my aunts so much.

“We didn’t get to see enough of each other these past few months,” I mumble into Aunt Kimie’s shoulder. “I want us to live close on Yūsei. Please…”

“Of course. Whatever you want.” Aunt Lomo kisses the top of my head, just like when I was a little girl. “We’ll see you on the other side.”

“Okay, ladies. Climb into your pods, strap in your feet, and lie down. I’ll strap down your chest.”

My aunts float into their pods, the technician straps them down, hooks up their IVs, and nods to me.

I grab a hand from each of them. “Sweet dreams, you two.”

“And you’ll be asleep in three, two, one.”

—-

Everyone is asleep but Jiro and me. Once we’re into our hibernation suits, the technician leaves us alone in the room so we can privately say goodbye to each other. She probably has to do this all the time.

Our final kiss before sleep makes me ache and cry. It reminds me of our first kisses, our lips pressed tightly to each other, my hands clutched to Jiro’s strong back. My heart won’t stop fluttering, and it’s threatening to halt my lungs from breathing. The contact between us is electrifying, energy flowing from Jiro straight into my soul. I wonder if he understands the effect he has on me. I don’t like to need or rely on anyone, but I do love being in love. I just don’t want it to end right now.

Panic seeps into my chest. I want to abandon this idea of sleeping apart for seven years and go back home. I know I can’t.

Jiro pulls away from me, holds my face, and searches my eyes. “We’ll be fine. No worries,” he says, enfolding me in a hug.

“Jiro,” I whisper in his ear, “I never made out a will, but I’ll tell you what I want if I don’t make it.”

“Shhh. Don’t say such things.” His voice cracks, and no, I don’t want to go on. Don’t want to say these things aloud.

“You never know. Just listen to me. I want to be cremated, and my ashes spread over grass wherever our family settles. Lay me someplace green under the sky I’m so afraid of. And you should marry and have a big family but never forget me.”

He hugs me even tighter. “I could never forget you.”

I press the side of my head against his, and we both exhale at the same time.

“What do you want, Jiro?”

“Cremated, and I hope there’ll be forests there.”

“Like your tattoos?”

His head nods next to mine.

“Okay. Remember how much I love you.”

“And I you. You’re my one and only.”

I want to show him I’m strong, I can do this, so I pull away and smile at him. I take in every detail of his dark eyes, his eyebrows that only curve the slightest amount, his powerful chin, his lips I want to kiss again but don’t. If everything goes all right, I’ll feel like no time has passed.

Jiro turns and knocks on the door.

At our beds, I strap my feet down and lay back as the technician reaches into Jiro’s pod and secures him across the chest before securing me. I have a fleeting moment of panic, imagining Kazuo above me, watching me sleep. Where did he go?

Don’t think about it, Sanaa.

I’m glad I’m across from Jiro so I can see him, just like I wanted, and his smile puts my fears at rest.

“Okay, you two. You’ll be asleep in three, two, one.”

The last thing I see is my love looking back at me.