Released – Chapter 4

I clean myself up and join Jiro in my old bedroom. He’s standing on the chair in the corner again.

“What are you doing?”

“Covering up the cameras. You don’t care, but I do, especially when I’m sure my mother is probably sitting in the surveillance room back home.”

“I hope you waved to her before you did it.”

Jiro dips his finger into a container of plastic putty and pushes the gray goop into the wall over the camera he pointed out to me earlier. He seriously thought of everything before he left.

“I did wave and smile. I may not want my mother to know anything about my private life, but I still love her. Anyway, I’m just covering up the ones in the bedrooms, hallway, and bathroom next. I think they’d panic back at home if I covered them all.”

He finishes and jumps down. “I brought your tablet for you. It’s not hooked up to NishikyōNet here but you could access your files if you want to. It’s in my bag.”

“Okay.” I would like a distraction, and I have tons of downloaded files I can read on my tablet including everything Aunt Kimie gave me having to do with my parents and the storage space.

In the bedroom, I crouch down next to Jiro’s bag and open it. He joins me and peeks over my shoulder.

“Hey, I have an idea.” I grab my tablet with one hand and pull him to sit on the bed with me. “I have some photos.”

I show him all the pictures I flip through every New Year’s Day, and it’s strange seeing them again with someone else. This was always a tradition I kept to myself. But I want to make Jiro a permanent part of my family. He should see all of this.

He looks from the tablet to me and back again. “Well, believe it or not, I do see some of your father in you, too. In the shape of your face and your eyes. And it’s possible your freckles stand out because you have his fair skin.” Whenever he mentions my freckles, I always blush.

He closes the photos and points to the video in the same folder. “Is this the video your mother made for you? Can I watch it?”

I hesitate and only because I wonder if seeing my mother again right now will make me cry. “Of course. I should skip through the beginning because she’s all emotional. She recorded this only a few days after she gave birth to me.”

“You don’t have to.”

Jiro has an eagerness about him I’ve not seen before. He wants to be a part of my life, and it reminds me that if we spend the rest of our lives together, he will never have met my parents or known them — just my aunts. I’m glad I got to meet and spend time with Koichi before he died, even if I didn’t know him very well.

Jiro watches the whole video, his eyes never leaving the screen. When it’s over, he plays it again and watches it just as intently as the first time.

“Sanaa,” he says, setting the tablet aside, “I now completely understand why you accepted Sakai’s help so willingly. Your mother was very convincing, very intense.”

“After watching this, I knew there was no other alternative for me. She was so into this path, so persuasive. It scares me, Jiro. If she were alive today, I’d have no choice. This would be how I was raised. I hate not having a choice.”

“Wasn’t Helena’s advice to accept it?” I nod in response. Caring and devoted Helena. She wants me to be happy. “Helena’s a smart girl. You should take her advice.” He punctuates his statement with a smile and butts his shoulder up against mine before becoming serious again. “This video also gives me concerns about your safety.”

“I remember watching it the first time and being thankful for all of the sword training you’ve given me. I miss Kazenoho.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t bring it with me, but I’m not sure if a sword is going to be enough.”

With all of what I saw during the fight and remembering what Aunt Kimie told me about my life being in danger, I know what to do.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about this,” I start slowly, “and when we get home, I want you to teach me everything. And I’m sure you know a whole lot more than sword fighting.”

His face becomes passive, a trick both he and Sakai use to keep me from reading them. “What do you mean?”

“Don’t play dumb with me. I saw the way you fought, the way you climbed in the theater, the way you jump through the air like gravity means nothing to you. You move so quietly I can’t even hear you.”

Slowly, his face loses passivity. He shakes his head. “I should have known I would never be able to hide any of that from you.”

“And you shouldn’t. I want to learn. I want to learn to fight with different weapons and to climb like you do. I want to know where the most vulnerable points are on another human being and how to take advantage of them… to move around in stealth. Everything. I’m not going to be some empress that sits back and doesn’t take her own safety into account. I refuse to live my life in isolation. I’ll be out and about amongst the people, and I need to learn to defend myself in every possible way.”

“You can’t do that.”

“Jiro, I don’t want to die, but I don’t want to be caged up either.”

“No way. Not now at least,” he insists. “Sakai says there are still grumblings in the minor clans. You’ll be killed.”

“But…”

Jiro’s look of shock stops me dead. He knows this world better than I do. Maybe I should be scared?

“How do you know about any of this?” He actually sounds angry, like I’ve figured out a secret only a few people are aware of. “I’ve never met a girl who could even think this way, much less want to learn and use those kinds of skills.”

“Am I crazy?”

“Yes. Yes, absolutely you’re crazy.”

“Good. Crazy and unexpected. That’s exactly the kind of leader I want to be.”

He laughs, takes my face in his hands, and kisses me hard, aggressive. I couldn’t move my head even if I wanted to because he’s pinned to my lips, taking control of me as if I’m a runaway train speeding towards an inevitable crash.

“If I had any doubts about whether or not you were perfect for me, they’re all gone now. Of course, I’ll teach you. I’ll teach you everything. And we’ll persuade Sakai to teach you as well.”

“Mark? Why?”

He shakes his head and laughs. “The fact you don’t already know tells me Sakai is the most skilled deceiver I have ever met. You are so observant, just like me, and have spent so much time with him.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Sakai has spent his whole life learning everything you want to know, the shinobi way. I had a feeling you didn’t know when you handed him Kazenoho at the theater, and the look on his face told me he didn’t want you to know. But if you’re going to learn how to be a ninja, you’ll learn from both him and me.”

Mark Sakai. A ninja. When I think of the way he easily changed his personality in front of people, the way he moves from one job to another, or how he was always entering and leaving rooms and I never heard him, everything starts to make sense.

Sakai has kept his skills hidden from me, always guarded, and most times, difficult to read. Did my mother know about his ninja training? I suspect she did. She told me to go to him first about all of this, didn’t she? She trusted him. He loved her. I doubt he would have kept this a secret from her.

I must learn everything they can teach me, know it all.

Obsessing. I’m already obsessing over it.

“Jiro, teach me. I want you to.”

—-

Together, we sit down and eat dinner at the table at dusk. My spirits are much better already. One day with Jiro here, real food and conversation, has changed me significantly. Even if Sakai had left someone here, anyone here with me, it would have been better than no one. I would have even been okay with Risa. Well, maybe not Risa.

We eat slowly and talk mainly of Nishikyō. Jiro fills me in on Aunt Kimie and Lomo. They miss me but understood Sakai stashed me away someplace else until they could secure Ku 6. Jiro visited them both while I was gone and told them about the fight and my hospital stay but wasn’t too specific with details. Helena’s building was damaged in the earthquake. She moved in late but now she’s living only two blocks away from me. Izakaya Tanaka is fine as usual. A few tables and chairs fell over and some customers were hurt, but the whole block faired well.

The total loss of life for the whole city after the earthquake was 1,809 people. Several water mains broke again and people drowned in the sudden floods. Four buildings collapsed, and over three hundred people were killed in an accident on the transitway. An explosion occurred in Ku 10, the Farming Ward, but luckily it didn’t affect the food supply. Ku 2, the Medical Services Ward, was overcome with injuries for weeks, including my own. I owe Usagi for standing by my hospital bed in the chaos. I have to think about how I’m going to thank him when I get home.

When the sun goes down, the stars come out, and Jiro and I stand at the window for over an hour together, holding hands and staring. He points out several constellations, and I’m surprised a few of the brightest stars are actually other planets in the solar system, Venus and Mercury. The moon rises, enormous and glowing brightly. I’m in love with it.

“Yūsei has two moons. I wonder what they’ll look like. Will they be bigger or smaller?” I press my forehead to the glass and stare as long as I can at the moon without blinking. It’s amazing the way it hangs there.

He smiles, leans forward and kisses me, a consuming kiss, his lips pressed tightly to mine, his hands pulling my face and body into him. I will never get tired of this. Our slow and steady starts always grow and grow until I’m ready to burst. I inhale sharply through my nose, wrapping my arms around his chest, and parting my lips, his tongue slips down over mine. My head swims, and I can’t stop the moan that bubbles straight up from my belly. He pulls away and guides me to the bedroom.

“I love that you always tell me what you want. Never stop that.”

“Take off all of your clothes and get into bed with me. I want to feel your body on me.” So many things in life embarrass me but talking to Jiro like this does not.

He smiles at me. “That’s what I like to hear.”

We slip into bed naked. I want him on top of me, in me, as close to me as possible. I craved personal closeness so badly when I was all alone, and Jiro’s presence is a drug calming every fear but exciting every nerve I possess.

It’s the best sex we’ve had yet because, for once, we have no place to be, nobody can hear us, nobody is waiting on us. We’re gentle with each other, like it’s the first time. It may as well be. Seven weeks is a long time to be apart, and I had already forgotten about the dip in muscle where his abs meet his hips and the scar on his elbow. He runs his hands down the length of my body, cupping my backside, and lifting me up against him. I let my kisses linger on his lips, catching his breath with mine. He’s watching me closely, his gaze so intense it brings chills to my body even though the room is warm and Jiro is hot. My brain buzzes, my vision light, and I can hardly breathe I’m so close.

Within moments, the contact between us sends us both right over the edge. It didn’t take long this time, but I’m sure this won’t be our last time tonight. We have a lot of catching up to do.

“Mmmm, Sanaa. I missed you.” Jiro’s eyes are closed, his breathing slowing.

Without separating us, I hold his face over me so I can see him, so I can watch his eyes, his smile. I rub my thumbs along the soft hair at his jaw and bring his forehead to mine.

“Jiro, what did you wish for on New Year’s Eve?”

“I asked the gods to bring me love, to bring me you, and they answered me.”