Released – Chapter 23

Today is Tanabata which usually takes place on the seventh day of the seventh month every year. Tanabata is a sweet, little holiday, a lovers’ holiday. Citizens dress in yukata and walk the streets festooned in brightly colored paper stars with streamers hanging from them. Street vendors sell snacks, and men and women of all ages write wishes on pieces of paper and attach them to wishing trees. We have no actual trees in Nishikyō, so most homes attach their wishes to wire stars or wire trees they hang in their homes or outside their businesses.

The story behind Tanabata is a sad tale, a fable thousands of years old about two lovers in the heavens, Orihime and Hikoboshi. The two fall in love and marry quickly, but they become so consumed with each other that they neglect their work and send the heavens into chaos. Orihime’s father, the King of the Sky, prohibits the lovers from seeing one another by separating Orihime and Hikoboshi, one on each side of the Milky Way. Orihime falls into despair, though, so her father relents and lets the two of them meet once per year on the seventh day of the seventh month.

I have never done anything for Tanabata before. The holiday is not celebrated widely in neither Ku 5 nor Ku 9, and, as my overworked-other-self, I usually had to be in the office. I have no idea what Jiro has planned for the day, but he seems pretty excited this morning. He wakes up happy, makes us both coffee, tea, and toast, and smiles at me before I sit down next to him and put my head on his shoulder. We slept in, and it’s already 10:30.

“Do we have plans for the whole day? Or are we going to the dōjō for practice too?”

“No, we have plans all day and this evening, too.”

“Shall we get dressed up? Wasn’t that one of the points of doing something fun today?” I take a big bite of toast and a gulp of coffee, and then the door chimes.

“It is one of the points of doing something fun today, and Beni is here to help you get dressed. So get in the shower, and when you’re ready, we’ll leave.”

When we hit the street outside, Usagi and Oyama are already waiting for us. I head straight for Usagi and give him a big hug which he accepts gracefully.

“I stayed with Helena last night until she was loaded onto a shuttle out at the airport.”

“I’m going to miss her, Usagi.”

“Me, too. Let’s try to enjoy the day, though. She’d have wanted that.” Usagi smiles sadly at me. Tanabata was one of Helena’s favorite holidays.

Jiro links arms with me and pulls me along behind some of Sakai’s men out in front of us. I’m happy to be wearing my red yukata today with a black obi. It’s not often I decide to go with red, but when I do, I feel alive and energetic. Red is a powerful color. I like having it in my hair.

Jiro is wearing his dark blue yukata, the one he wore to the okiya on the night we first openly flirted with each other. I do love men in kimono and yukata, but I’ve gotten used to him wearing all black too when we play around at night in the city.

“I’ve had plans to visit Minamoto today for weeks now, but we’re going to have to talk business with him after what’s happened.”

I nod my head in assent. I need to be passive and not get emotional.

“We’re going to his family’s chashitsu in Minamoto territory. It’s a favorite place of mine. Kentaro, Usagi, and I used to play there a lot when we were kids.”

“Chashitsu? You want to take me to a tea house?”

“Ah, but Sanaa, it’s not just tea. It’s kaiseki and the tea house. The tea house grounds. They have a real koi pond.”

“With real fish?” I remember all of the beautiful fish swimming in the aquarium in Ku 8, and I’m so fond of my haori coat with the big koi fish along the back.

“Real. Fish. You will love the fish in the pond. They are hand-fed each day so they’re quite friendly.”

We turn the corner onto a main street, and everyone is out. From each street lamp hangs a bright, big, round star in a million different colors with streamers hanging off the bottoms, tickling the heads of people who walk under them. People are lining up for lunch from the street vendors. The smell of all the food is making me hungry. Toast this morning was probably not enough.

I turn to Oyama behind me, and he smiles. “I can tell you’re hungry. Kaiseki is simple but elegant and won’t take long to prepare. I was at the tea house earlier. They have strict instructions not to start until I arrive, though.”

A particularly beautiful and large multi-colored star hovers over the center of the street ahead of us with a little girl on her father’s shoulders reaching up to swirl her hands in amongst the streamers. Her laughter is so sweet.

“Sanaa, Mark and I had a few days ago, the day he cornered me and asked me why I was going around introducing you as my fiancée to everyone. The last thing I want is to lose you, and if we had gone on the way they all wanted us to, there’s no way we’d be happy. Neither of us. Mark wanted me to keep my distance in the beginning, but I’ve made it clear that we want to be together, have a family together?”

My heart races in my chest, I’m excited to hear him talk so decisively about our future. “It’s not a question. I want that more than anything.”

“Good.” He smiles, and I squeeze his arm tight. “And Kentaro?” he asks, his voice trailing away and losing the sudden smile his lips just had.

“What? What does Kentaro have to do with any of this?”

He stops and faces me, everyone on the street swirling around us. We’re a rock in the middle of a river, an island amongst the rapids.

“He’ll never come between us, will he?”

My heart jumps up to my throat. Is he afraid I’ll leave him for Kentaro? Like he lost his old girlfriend?

“Never. I swear it. He’s a good guy, but, no. Only you.” He’s almost convinced, looking into my eyes and seeing my sincerity. I know I have to say it out loud. “I would never betray you like she did. I love you. You’re the right one for me.”

Jiro closes his eyes and blows out a breath, held for so long, I thought he’d keel over and die.

“I had no idea you were worried. Why? I sit and wait for you to come home most nights, anxious and excited to see you…”

He shakes his head. “I’m sorry. I know how much time you spend with him at the dōjō, and I saw how relieved he was when you squeezed his hand at the hospital. You have such an effect on everyone.”

“That’s my job. You know that. I can’t be cold and distant with everyone.”

“You’re right, of course. I won’t mention it again. I promise,” he says, nodding his head, relieved, and pulling me along beside him. We walk for a few silent minutes as Jiro’s steps become more confident and less hesitant. I’m stunned with how worried he was. If only I could see him every day, show him how much I love him with all the simple things normal couples do. This is what comes of spending so much time apart. “I’ve made plans for our future. Mark and my mother will watch after Sakai clan for the foreseeable future. I will concentrate on you, your imperial duties, and on us. You concentrate on the clans, the business, your training, the government, and all the other stuff that’s going to come your way. Divide and conquer.”

We both dodge right as two little boys race up the street and nearly knock into us. One of them collides straight into Oyama who picks the boy up off the ground and sends him on his way.

“I’ve been thinking about what happened to Helena, and I think we should continue to pull in ranks until we leave for Yūsei. I don’t want anything to happen to anyone else, and I don’t want to be a burden to you all. The situation would be easier if I continue to stay at the Sakai building and everyone was brought to me.” I was hoping, with time, we would be safer, and I would have more freedom, but Helena’s poisoning has changed everything.

“We definitely need to reassess our situation. I won’t lie to you about this stuff, ever, and I don’t want to put a happy face on things just to make you feel better.”

“Good.”

“But, until we can figure out what’s happened, you need to stay safe. This is not about being a burden. This is about your safety. Okay?”

“Okay,” I say, reluctantly. He’s right, I know it. I’ve already spent so much time at home, though. Should I talk to him now about his mother? About how I never see her, and when I do, our visits have always ended badly?

No. Even with the heavy topic, he’s cheerful, and I don’t want to ruin the mood.

“What if we have a major difference of opinion on something big?” I ask, getting back to the original subject.

“We’ll have to try to work it out, I guess. Isn’t that what you’d do with Mark?”

“Yes, but I’m not sleeping with Mark. I can have an argument with him and then go back to my apartment and think it through.”

“Okay, well, if we argue about something, and you need to think the situation through, you can have the bedroom, and I’ll take the bathroom.”

I imagine us both mad at each other, me sitting on the bed with my arms crossed, and Jiro standing in the bathroom. It’s completely ridiculous.

“Seriously, someday I’d love to have a house with more than one or two rooms in it,” I say, laughing at the thought.

“I’ll have one built with a wide deck, wooden doors and tatami mats. It’ll be perched on a lake filled with fish, and we can spend our days reading in the sun in the garden.”

I can picture this house in my head. Peaceful and quiet but happy and joyful with the sounds of our children running around. Sleeping on futons on the floor. Warm summers with breezes blowing through open windows, and cold winters snuggled up under large, fluffy blankets. I’m going to love Yūsei. I know I can get over my fears of the outdoors if that’s what awaits me.

We smile at each other, and his eyes reflect the same future I’m imagining. Suddenly, I want very much to get on that ship and go.

We turn onto a small side street away from the hustle of the main strip and in front of us is an actual tea house.

“And now I see why you wanted me to come here today. Inspiration for our future home?”

This low, squat building seems out of place here, stuck between two larger buildings. The tea house has the appearance of a thatched roof with wooden columns and a wooden deck stretched across the front and side of the house. I’m sure it’s all composite materials but I’m constantly surprised by the ways composite is put to use in Ku 6.

What this tea house lacks in natural materials, it makes up for in design. Every detail is accounted for, from the rice paper shōji windows to the stepping stones leading up to the deck, including the hand-painted sign out front that reads, “Shōfū-an,” Maple Hut. We step up to the wooden deck and walk slowly towards the back of the building, the boards lightly creaking and bending beneath our feet.

“Here’s what you need to know about today, Sanaa. Yoshinori Minamoto, Kentaro’s father, is a hard man. He has obviously been close to Emiko and Tadao Matsuda but never outright supported them even though they are in the same family.”

When Kentaro told us Emiko met with Minamoto the other day, I was dismayed. I had hoped their association was done now that Tadao is dead. I keep going over the conversation Emiko, Tadao, and Minamoto had the night Jiro and I spied on them at Izakaya Tanaka, and it was never clear whether Minamoto had a hand in my parents’ deaths so I let it go. I’m pretty sure the explosion was all Tadao’s doing. He seemed consumed by hatred, the bastard.

“I grew up around the Minamoto family,” Jiro continues, “and have watched them my whole life. It may seem like we have his support, but it could be the complete opposite.”

“Not surprising.” I want to trust Minamoto, but I don’t. My instincts tell me he’s lying, but I have no concrete evidence.

“But today is when you can shine, Sanaa, because Kentaro’s mother is here, and she loves charming girls.”

I raise my eyebrows at him.

Jiro laughs. “You can only imagine how disappointed she’s been that Kentaro hasn’t brought anyone home to meet the family in a long time.”

Kentaro has his work cut out for him.

“The good news is that if she likes you, then you definitely have an ally in this house because no one does anything without her approval.”

“Much like Mariko.”

“Exactly. Just like my mother. And Tamiko Minamoto is just as shrewd, responsible, and loyal. So let’s go woo her.” He raises his eyebrows at me this time. “She likes me, too.” His smile has a devious hint. Something tells me Tamiko Minamoto might have a little crush on my Jiro. I’ll have to use this to my advantage somehow.

A shōji door opens as I’m about to peek around to the back of the house, but a woman who looks much like Kentaro stands and smiles at us both so I turn my whole attention on her.

“Good day, Mrs. Minamoto,” Jiro says while bowing from the waist. “How are you?”

“I’m good, Jiro. It’s been too long since I last saw you.” She smiles at him, and yes, a little twinkle lights up her eyes. She definitely thinks Jiro is cute, and I quite agree.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been by to visit you before now, but I’ve come to introduce you to Sanaa Itami.”

Tamiko bows low. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Miss Itami.”

I smile at her and bow slightly back. “It’s good to meet you, Mrs. Minamoto.”

“Please call me Tamiko.” She smiles and nods at me, but it’s not the same warmth she has for Jiro. “Jiro-, is it true what I hear that you two are engaged?”

“It is,” he says and smiles at me.

“Congratulations.”

Tamiko and Jiro still smile at each other as Tamiko gestures us both in, and sitting seiza inside past the shōji screen door is Yoshinori Minamoto. He just heard everything we said, and now he knows straight from us that I’m itching to marry into Sakai clan. We’re off on the right foot.

A low table dominates the center of the room, and Minamoto takes up one whole side. He bows low to us and doesn’t crack a smile, but I’m definitely going to come in here today and be the intimidating one. Intimidatingly kind and sweet, that is.

“Minamoto, it is so good to see you. I haven’t seen you since we last had tea at the okiya. An oversight on my part. You’ll have to accept my apologies.”

“Please, Miss Itami, we are all busy people.”

“But your son now stays in my house, and I should take the time to come and visit you more often.” I nod my head once to indicate my word on this is final. That it’s my fault, not his. Really, who cares? These pleasantries are all about making excuses for things that don’t matter.

Jiro and I sit down on the other side of the table from Minamoto. Oyama’s soft voice trickles in from the kitchen and the ladies back there titter away at whatever comments he’s making. I purse my lips to stop a smile. Oyama is the king of charm.

“And I hope my son is helpful to you?” Tamiko softens when she speaks of Kentaro. Mama’s boy, for sure.

“Kentaro is more than helpful. He’s a delight. I’m very glad he joined my staff. I know you must miss him.”

Minamoto’s eyebrows draw together in confusion, but Tamiko suddenly thinks I deserve as much warmth as Jiro.

“I have him coming to the Itō dōjō with us a few times per week and teaching me new skills. He’s a good listener, and his opinion is always different from the opinions I get from other people. His viewpoint is exceptional and unique. I’m quite grateful for him.”

I wish I could read Minamoto’s thoughts right now because he is oddly still. Maybe I just said words out loud he never expected to hear about his son. Now I feel even better about bringing Kentaro on board. I, no doubt, saved him from a lifetime of derision and boredom at the hands of his father

“Sanaa doesn’t realize what a pain Kentaro was while we were growing up,” Jiro laughs and causes everyone to smile. “I can’t tell you how many times he pushed me into the pond out back.”

“I have paid a fortune over the years to have that koi pond restocked many times.” Minamoto huffs, but he’s amused.

“My mother was so sick of me coming home soaking wet,” Jiro shakes his head. I wonder about what it would have been like to grow up here. I missed out on a lot. “I ruined at least a dozen pairs of Nishikyō grays and yukata by coming over here.”

“I’m sure your mother was very forgiving, Jiro,” Tamiko says, swiping out with her hand at a piece of dust on her yukata. “How is Mariko? Is she doing well?”

“She is doing well, thank you for asking. She’s still in mourning but keeping busy with the family.”

Another woman about the same age as Tamiko opens the door to the kitchen, and she comes out with a tray of food. Thank the gods, I’m starving. She smiles as she places the tray in front of me, and my face lights up. What a gorgeous meal. Everything is presented in black and red lacquerware, perfectly arranged, and smells so good my mouth is watering.

She gestures to every dish and explains what each is. A large bowl of rice is on the left, a bowl of miso soup sits in the center front, and three larger side dishes line the edge of the black and red tray. Each lid is taken off and reveals food artistically arranged: a simmered soy salmon paired with sesame carrots, broiled mock whitefish with lemon slices, grilled eggplant, and a small bowl of mushroom stew smells delicious, peaty and rich.

“This is really beautiful, thank you.”

I’m so hungry it’s taking all of my willpower to not dive in right now. Each person gets their tray of food, but I wait for Minamoto to start eating first. Once he does, I sip on the soup.

Conversation for the rest of the meal hovers around what everyone is eating. Jiro asks after Minamoto family members he knows, and Tamiko obviously enjoys sharing stories with him. Minamoto and I stay silent and eat, nodding our heads when comments are directed at us.

I finish everything on my tray and even sip on the tea. Despite my best efforts to hate tea, it’s growing on me. I’m sure Sakai will be pleased.

“Minamoto, thank you for such a wonderful meal. I enjoyed it immensely.”

“You’re welcome, Miss Itami.”

“I have one piece of business before the tea ceremony…”

Passive face, deep blue sky, dunes. I’m being as passive and businesslike as I can be. Minamoto’s ears prick up.

“As you have heard, Jiro and I are engaged to be married. I’m here to tell you that though I’m aligning myself permanently with Sakai clan, we will not be making our marriage legal for quite some time. I am merely stating that our relationship will be monogamous, and no other consorts will be taken. Any allegiances made with me will be in good faith, with loyalty and honor, not bought with anything else. Much like my alliance with you.”

Minamoto’s stare turns hard and cold, yet he smiles and waves his hand in a friendly manner. “I completely understand. Thank you for your candid words.”

He bows down but goosebumps rise on my forearms. He’s not convinced, but he’s not prepared to denounce me today.

“Shall we walk around outside while the room is being prepared for the tea ceremony?” Jiro asks.

He helps me up — we’ve been sitting seiza now for a while — and I let the blood flow back into my legs before we start to walk. He opens the shōji door to the backyard, and once again, I’m stunned by this place.

It’s not grass out back, nor bamboo, nor trees, but it might as well be. I step down off the wide porch and instead of putting my flip-flops back on, I put my feet in the ‘grass.’ The blades are soft and green but definitely not alive. Still, when I squat down and run my hands over the lush lawn, the ground feels spring-loaded. My feet sink into it like it’s real earth, real turf.

“This is a newer version of fake grass. When Kentaro and I were kids and played back here, it was not as nice nor, um, soft.” He rubs a spot on his elbow, probably from where he fell or was wrestled into the ground.

“Aw, Jiro. Was Kentaro rough on you as kids?”

He shakes his head. “He never knew when to give up a fight.”

I glance back at Minamoto and Tamiko, and they are standing and watching us from the porch.

“Walk with me,” I say, holding out my hand to Jiro with a smile, and he takes it without a second thought.

We amble through a long arbor of bamboo taller than our heads, and I keep closing my eyes and breathing deeply hoping for that same clean air I inhaled in Ku 10, but it’s not here. I’m sure this is good enough for a lot of people who just want to see something green or feel connected to the Earth we all long for. The tea house grounds are fun and novel for me but not real.

“Did you see what I saw back there?” I whisper to Jiro, and he nods. I wasn’t imagining the look on Minamoto’s face. We have a lot of work to do with him.

When the bamboo parts, the koi pond is in front of us. It’s not very big, maybe five meters across, and the water is murky, the color of soy sauce. Dark gray stepping stones dot the water from one edge of the pond to the other, the circumference rimmed with more grass. Jiro looks back and Minamoto and Tamiko are arm-in-arm, following us at a polite distance.

“So, you want to meet the fish?” Jiro knows how much I love animals. I still talk about the trip I made with Sakai to Ku 8 all the time. He gives me a little shove towards the stepping stones, and I walk towards them but hesitate.

“How deep is it?”

He looks me up and down and measures me against his last memory of ever falling in the pond. “Up to your thighs, but I don’t think you’ll fall in. Just go out two steps, and they’ll come to you. You’re wearing bright red. I’m sure they can see you.”

I leap to the first stone and bring both my bare feet onto the second one. In the dark water, flashes of white, orange, red, and gray start to appear around my feet. Soon the fish are so eager to see me they’re swimming over and over each other, their mouths opening and closing at the surface.

I crouch down and lean close to them, and they get so excited water starts flying everywhere, causing me to screech and Jiro to laugh from the bank. The fish look so soft and smooth… and hungry. Jiro wasn’t kidding about them being hand-fed every day. I reach down and stroke the top of a white fish with huge red spots on it, then snatch my finger back quickly.

“Ow!”

“Sanaa!” Jiro is on the verge of making a run for me when I smile and pop up.

“Just kidding.”

Minamoto behind us bursts into a low laugh. Jiro’s expression turns from fearful to playful, and I make a mad dash across the stones to the other side with him hot on my trail. I let him chase me around the pond, laughing and dodging his lunges, and then run back through the bamboo before coming to a halt and acting more ladylike.

He swoops in behind me and picks me up, swinging me around twice before letting me down, and I can’t help but throw my arms around him and hug him tight. He is my love and my best friend all at once.

Thank you, Jiro. I haven’t laughed and played like that in a long time.