Reclaimed – Chapter 35

We trek all day across the Nogusa-hara, east towards the Kōbuchi Desert, keeping the mountain range on our right. The plain of wildflowers is gorgeous and peaceful, the ground flat, making the trip easy on my knees and hips. The tall grass sways in the warm breeze, blowing petals and bits of greenery into my hair and on my shirt. I placed Himitsu in my bag after only an hour. He kept falling off my shoulder while trying to sleep.

Every ten kilometers, a field is cut away in the grass and leaves us with a place to rest. We enter a spot in the late afternoon, shuck off our backpacks, and sit down. Shishi and his pride lie down to sleep around us, their soft snoring making my eyes droop. So far, we’re alive and not designated dinner for the lions, so I consider our relationship a happy one.

I lie down on the grass, stretching my aching limbs. My legs and chest hurt, my feet burning up in my boots, but I shiver. I may be running a fever because despite the heat and warmth of the sunlight on my body, I’m cold and shaky. Jiro hands me a bottle of water and a protein bar and sits next to me, putting his arm around me and pulling me into his chest. I rest my head on his shoulder while eating and drinking slow, little sips.

Kumo sniffs along the side of the grass away from the lions. He’s been quiet today, keeping pace at my side, except for the time he brought me a stick and said, “For you.” I have no idea why a stick was a good gift, but I thanked him and kept on walking with it in my hands.

I pat my leg and he runs to me, licking my face and telling me he loves me before plopping down and falling fast asleep. What a great dog.

Off to the side, a giant machine with a thresher on the front sits covered in a green tarp with only a solar panel on top exposed to the sun. Namika sits across from Jiro and me and glances at the thresher.

“We cut the paths in the plain two or three times per season,” Namika explains, waving at the giant machine. “The lions hate the noise so it’s never been a dangerous job for anyone except to be away from home for some time. Oda Clan maintains the paths so we can keep ties with the outcast clans. Our power cables are buried a hundred meters that way.” She waves toward the North. “We use them as a guide.”

I silently chew on my protein bar and think. Are we going to need to negotiate with these outcast clans as well? My track record with the natives is beyond poor, and I’d rather avoid them if at all possible.

“I’m sorry,” Namika whispers, and I sit up straight. “Am I talking too much? Kentaro says I talk too much.”

Jiro laughs and pulls at the grass. “He never did like the chatty girls.” He directs his eyes over at Kentaro, asleep on his back, his head propped on his backpack.

Namika’s face falls, and she pulls at the grass too.

“Jiro, why don’t you go nap?” I push on his knee. “You can sleep anywhere.”

“You should nap, not me. You look like you’re about to die, and considering you almost did die yesterday morning, I think you should sleep.”

“You do look bad, Miss Itami,” Namika says, grimacing.

“Both of you, thanks for making a girl feel pretty. I really appreciate it.” I push on Jiro’s knee again. “Go nap and no more talking about how bad I look. I don’t want to know.”

“Sorry,” he mumbles, standing up and brushing off his pants. “It’s just that I fully expect to die before my wife and kids. You’re not allowed to die before me.”

“I’ll keep it in mind.” I do my best to smile at him, trying to remind him that as long as I have a sense of humor, I’m all right. He bobs his head at me, walks a meter from Kentaro, lies down, and falls asleep immediately. Gods, I really hate that. It’s like he purposely shows off how well he can sleep. Arata and Sakai are also asleep which only leaves Namika and me awake. I crack open the top of my bag and peek in to make sure Himitsu is still alive, and he’s sound asleep as well.

“I told you to call me Sanaa,” I say to Namika.

“Right. Sorry.” She bites her lip and reclines on her elbows, her eyes flitting to Kentaro briefly.

“So you finally slept with Kentaro, huh?” Embarrassment rushes through me, and I open my mouth to take back my impertinence and apologize but curiosity reigns. Her cheeks heat and she avoids looking at me. “You were at each other’s throats for weeks. I didn’t think it would happen.”

She sits quietly for a few moments before leaning forward and putting her head on her knees. “Something almost happened when we were in Yamato. We spent several days together with his mother before meeting up with you, so I tried to keep up my normal routine even though I didn’t have my clothes or anything. He caught me coming from the rotenburo naked at his house. Ugh. He wouldn’t even look at me, and I got pissed off and called him a coward and an asshole.”

I try not to laugh and keep it behind a smile she doesn’t even see, her head is still buried in her knees.

“And then you almost died and he was so upset. Kept telling me you were like his sister, and if you were gone, he’d be lost forever. I didn’t know he was so sensitive. He’s usually just a jerk, you know?”

“I do, though he’s not like that with me anymore. Once he trusts you, he stops being an obstinate bastard, I swear. Did he ever tell you how we met?”

She nods, hugging her knees even tighter.

“We started out as enemies and became friends, almost siblings. If you treat him well, like the sensitive and sweet guy he is, he’ll open up with you faster. The minute I showed him I accepted him for who he was, he became my best friend.”

Her eyes narrow. “That sounds kind of mushy to me. Don’t guys just naturally want to be assholes?”

“Some.” I laugh and roll my eyes. “Trust me. They come in all shapes and sizes. I’ve had my fair share of assholes too.” I finish off the rest of my protein bar. Namika’s thin, arched eyebrows are pulled together. “You can still be yourself, Namika. Don’t worry about it. If you two slept together, he trusts you.”

“I’ll admit, I don’t have the fondest viewpoint on men. Um, I need to ask you something.” She touches my leg, and my body tenses. “Kentaro said he found you naked in the Fujiwara castle, and it was one of the scariest moments of his life. Did… did Osamu rape you?”

I flash back to the room in the castle and the ache of the binds on my wrists and ankles lingers in the back of my mind. Osamu stood over me and said, “I find her completely disgusting. She barely looks Japanese. I don’t think I’ll be breaking her in like my other consorts.” “Look at you! You’re scrawny and weak. You look like a child. You’re not royalty. You’re nothing. I could squash you with both of my hands.”

The bottle in my hand shakes so I clutch it to my chest. “No. No. I was too much like trash to even be touched by him. Thank the gods.”

“Thank your grandfather.” Namika brings her hands to prayer position in front of her nose. “My childhood friend was kidnapped when she was fifteen. She and her father were traveling close to the capital when she was taken in the middle of the night by Fujiwara guards. Osamu raped and abused her until he killed her and sent her back home to her parents in a coffin.”

My eyes fill with tears even as Namika’s stay bone dry. How can one young woman go through so much?

“I have a poor view of men because that’s what I grew up with. My father makes up for a lot of what I saw as a child, but it hasn’t been easy for most women on Orihime. Many are abused by their husbands and kept from even basic rights. That’s why Owari is walled — to keep those people out — but the guys I grew up with wouldn’t look my way because I like to fight and drink and curse. The attitude is pervasive and hard to kill. You know rape isn’t about sex, right?”

“It’s about power.” I nod looking around me, at the men in my life sleeping peacefully on the grass next to the lions. I am, supposedly, the most powerful person here, yet most of them hold more power than I ever would. Just the fact that they can close their eyes and sleep in the open astounds me. This is confidence I don’t possess.

“He would have done it eventually, when he was finished humiliating you and making you feel inadequate. I hear that’s Osamu’s way. He breaks down his concubines until they’re nothing but a shell then he kills them. Like father, like son.”

She sighs, pulls out a handful of grass and throws it into the wind. The flakes swirl in a tight tornado before dissipating above the tips of the long grass.

I groan and place my head on my legs. “So much has happened since we landed, and so many dreams and lives have been destroyed. There are days I wish we had never come here.”

“Please, Sanaa.” Namika lays her hand on my arm, and I lift my head, her concerned face not far from mine. “Not us. We’ve prayed for help for our entire lives. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to us. We’re lucky to have found each other, before it was too late.”