Reclaimed – Chapter 23

I’m silent while I pack my backpack for our journey. I lay out three shirts, three pairs of pants, three pairs of socks… three of everything I will need for being on the continent without help. I learned a lot these past couple of weeks watching Julia work, but I’m certain this trip will be more difficult than my last one. Jiro returns from the funeral, quiet and contemplative. He stands at the foot of our bed and stares at my clothing in neat piles.

“Is this all you’re bringing?” he frowns while he lifts up each pile to see if I’ve hidden more clothes under each.

“An extra pair of shoes and a light coat as well.” I point to the flat black shoes and coat near the door as I slip on the boots I bought from Beni’s fiancé.

“What about a kimono?”

“What about it?” I shrug my shoulders. “I’m not going on a vacation. I’m going to negotiate with my enemies. Kimonos will get me nowhere.”

In the closet, I leap up to grab the basket I saved from one of my many trips. My suitcase from Owari was delivered yesterday, so I unzip it and unpack the little things Miko asked for — rice crackers, gummy candies, and a jar of sweet syrup. I add in the baby blanket I purchased from a quilt maker during one of the outings in Owari before the sumo tournament.

“Where are you going?” Jiro asks, pulling clothes from the bureau as I head to the door to the porch.

“I have gifts for Miko. I thought I’d deliver them before we go.”

His shoulders fall, and he sighs. “Why? Why would you do that to yourself?”

I stomp my foot, my anger bubbling over. “Because I refuse to believe our friendship is over just like that. That she can end a twenty-year relationship over something that’s not even my fault.”

I wrench open the door and blaze a trail across the courtyard, slowing only to hear the news playing in someone’s quarters. My name is mentioned several times, and I cringe when Nobu’s voice peaks over mine, “How dare they recruit an innocent person with absolutely no qualifications to do such a dangerous job?” They keep broadcasting the clip over and over. I wish I could ban people in the house from watching, but that’s not the kind of jealous and petty person I want to be. I clench my lips shut, walk through the gate to Miko and Yoichi’s house, and stride up to the front door. Movement catches my eye, and when I look up, a curtain falls back in place at a window. Good. They’re home.

I take a deep breath, clear the scowl from my face, and knock on the door. Several seconds pass and I don’t hear anyone moving inside, so I count to ten slowly before knocking again. This time I glance down at my feet and tap them — heel, toe, heel, toe — the repetition reminding me of when I used to go to Mariko’s door in Nishikyō and hope she was home so we could spend time together.

This situation is ending as badly as that one did.

No one answers. No one moves. I set the basket down on the front porch.

“I’m leaving and I don’t know if I’ll be back.” I raise my voice so whoever is inside can hear me. “I bought these things for you and the baby. I hope… I hope you give birth to a healthy little girl. You deserve as much.” I bow and turn to leave. In the courtyard, a few meters from the gate, Mariko stands with her hands clasped, her mouth drawn in a prim pucker.

“Sanaa…”

I glance behind me at Miko’s house and my basket is still sitting on the porch. Mariko angles around me and her eyes focus on my lonely and rejected gift. I’m about to deflate and ask her for advice on Miko when she pulls back her shoulders and lifts her head.

“I need to ask a favor of you. I need for you to go on your trip alone. Please don’t take my son with you.”

I thought maybe Mariko was going to hug or comfort me. I’m wrong again. Why do I continue to trust people who show me they can’t be trusted?

“You want me to go alone?”

“Yes, or take a guard with you, but please leave Jiro here.”

My cheeks heat, blinding fast. I blink my eyes at the force of the emotions I have to keep down. “He wants to come with me. I’m not making him come.” My scalp prickles with rage, my skin flushing all over. Not only am I angry but shame coats me in a thick paste. I should leave him home and go by myself. Why should we both die for this mission?

“Tell him…” She rushes forward and takes my hands before I can pull away. “Tell him you don’t want him there. That you’ll go on your own.”

“I can’t do that. He’d never believe me because I’m an awful liar. You know that. Besides, he’s my husband. Who else is qualified to go with me?”

“He’s not your husband. You were never married.” She drops my hands, stepping away from me and raising her head again. “I want the ring back. It belonged to my mother, and she had no right to give it to Jiro. It was meant for me.”

I glance down at my ring, the only piece of jewelry I wear all the time, a symbol of Jiro’s love for me, for the commitment to our relationship. I remember how it was wrestled from my finger in the palace and kept from me, how I longed to have the ring on my finger again.

I gasp, clenching my left hand in a fist at my heart. “Why don’t you stab me too while you’re at it? Come on.” I pull down the collar of my shirt and bare my sternum to her. “Come on! Get my death over with quickly.” I press my eyes shut, waiting for her.

“Give me the ring and don’t be selfish.” I open my eyes at the forcefulness of her anger. “Ever since you came into my life, my loved ones have died. Don’t you dare take my son, too. I’ve been silent, but now that everyone has seen what I see, I don’t need to sit quietly any more.” She holds out her hand. “Now, give me the ring.”

“No.”

“I don’t want you to die in a ditch and take it with you to the grave. That ring belongs to my family.”

My heart dies, shrunken to half its size. There is nothing left for me here, nothing.

“You really have no love for me at all, do you? It’s all been a lie.”

She swallows but remains mute, a sheer film of tears in her eyes. I highly doubt those tears are for me. They’re for my mother, dead and gone.

“It’s not my ring to give back. It’s Jiro’s. Ask him for it instead of being a coward and coming to me. You can’t even bring yourself to ask him because you know he’d side with me over you.” I storm past her, being sure to kick stones up in my wake.

This is bullshit. What the hell has happened to my life and my loved ones? They’ve all been possessed! They’ve all gone mad.

I push the door open to our room, and Jiro is zipping up his bag.

“Let’s go.”

Jiro narrows his eyes at me. “Didn’t go well?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” I pick Momo up and hug her to my chest as she purrs in my ear. “Are there fox spirits about?” I whisper to her.

“Not that I know of.” She blinks her yellow eyes at me. Where once I thought I saw intelligence, I now feel and hear it. I’ve been given an amazing gift.

“Be on the lookout. Everyone’s acting strange.” I set her on the bed, grab my bag, and leave the room behind Jiro.