Reclaimed – Chapter 22

I don’t sleep for two days. Instead, I scour the hills around the outskirts of town searching for people who fled the area during the attack. With Himitsu’s keen eyes to guide me, the search-and-rescue teams save dozens of people. I talk with cats and dogs about owners gone missing and where we can find them, and I stand at the gravesides of people who didn’t make it more than a year on Yūsei. The only times I return to the estate to rest, I bathe and change my clothes, sit with Momo on my chest and cry to myself. My tears are only for me.

Then I receive a message from the police chief that Naomi and Yuka, Miura’s daughters who fled to Yamato for sanctuary, can’t be found anywhere, and we must presume they were kidnapped by their own father. Their mother, on the other hand, died while out for the evening with friends. Her friends report she left to head home after dinner and wasn’t heard from again. Police found her stabbed to death in an alley not far from the restaurant she was at. Her coroner’s report burns into my retinas, every detail, including photos.

On the second morning after the attack, I stand to address the media in front of the burnt-out city hall. Everyone towers over me, their mini tablets or cameras in my face, accusing me of leaving the town open to enemies while I was away traveling the continent. I swallow and try not to throw up.

“I wish I had better news for everyone in Yamato. We must stay positive and work towards rebuilding. Many are dead but many more survived, and we need to be prepared for Second Wave’s arrival in less than a year. The majority of our food, water, and shelter are still available to us. I’m truly sorry to hear about many irreplaceable belongings being destroyed. I really am.” I press my fingers to my mouth and breathe in through my nose. “What matters now is being with our families and getting back to business.”

“How can you say that when you lost nothing?” Someone from the crowd shouts and many nod their heads in response. I want to shout back about the friends I lost, the family heirlooms that were destroyed in my aunts’ house, but my protests die on my lips. Defending myself will get me nowhere.

“You’re a coward!” An older woman shouts. “Where were you when the town was burning?”

The blood drains swiftly from my face, leaving my lips icy cold.

Jiro, Lucy, and Sakai stand with me, their eyes reddened and tired. Jiro’s jaw tightens as he steps in front of me to keep reporters and the crowd out of my face.

“Miss Itami!” The reporters burst with questions, everyone shouting over each other, but one man’s voice rises above the rest. “What do you have to say about the Yamamotos forming an opposition party and calling for new elections?”

I open my mouth a few times, but nothing comes out… thankfully. Because my first thought is to call Nobu Yamamoto a liar and a bitch, which I really shouldn’t say to anyone, not even my cat.

“We live in a democratic society and the citizens of Yūsei have every right to form political parties and petition for elections.”

“Then you don’t oppose her motions?”

“I don’t oppose her Opposition Party, no. Elections will happen at the one-year mark of colonization on schedule. Yamamoto is welcome to offer up a candidate at that time.”

“She’s calling for your impeachment.”

Lucy clears her voice behind me. “She’s calling for my impeachment since I’m the elected official. That’ll be enough for today.”

Lucy’s implication that you can’t impeach royalty doesn’t faze anyone. Basically, the only things that can be done to keep me quiet and out of the government are to elect someone who will keep me out of it or kill me. They’ve already tried the latter, now it’s time for the other option.

Security intervenes to hold back the crowd of reporters so I can continue my tour of the town. The hospital is overrun with burn patients, broken limbs, and smoke inhalation injuries. The marketplace is in ruins, tables and farm stands upended and flipped over. My enemies must have had a team of at least a hundred people to infiltrate Yamato. How did they get past the electric warning fence without us knowing? Where is Maeda? I amble through the marketplace and remember buying lettuce and basil from a sweet older woman whose son worked in the hydroponics pop-ups on the north side of the city.

As sad as the destruction is, right now, nothing else matters because I have to attend another funeral, a triple funeral. Hundreds of funerals are taking place today, but Miko’s parents and Oyama are being mourned at our local temple. I keep my head down and my mouth sealed shut on the way to our neighborhood with Sakai, Lucy, and Jiro. I could probably talk and make plans for hours, but my voice is hoarse from smoke and countless meetings. I need a break. I need sleep.

My heart is hollow as I enter the courtyard and find my family and friends on the temple’s front porch. The small white stones crunch under my feet, echoing off the buildings around us. I breathe in deep the scents of the cherry trees and incense, one of the few pleasures amidst the pain of loss. Miko pushes past Yoichi and Mariko, running towards me in her dark kimono, her baby belly just barely peeking out under the obi.

“Miko…” I’m about to throw my arms around her and comfort her, but her stern, enraged eyes are the last thing I see before she smacks me across the face, and I stumble to the ground.

“How dare you show up here, Sanaa.” Miko’s pale face leans over me. “You need to go.”

“Miko,” Sakai whispers, pushing her away. I raise my fingers to my cheek and the skin is hot, my palm bleeding from hitting the stones so hard.

“Go!” she yells, her voice breaking. “I can’t even believe you would come here.”

Jiro offers a hand to help me up, pulling me into his side. “Of course she’s here. Oyama was one of her closest friends. She loved your parents.”

“She killed my parents, just as good as she killed your father. This is all her fault.” Miko breaks into a sad laugh, dragging her wrist across her nose. “Gods, I feel manipulated and cheated. Were you ever even pregnant? Or was that just another ploy to curry favor from the people you were afraid to lose?”

“Miko!” I gasp and cover my mouth. I can’t believe I’m hearing this from my best friend. “Of course I was pregnant.”

“I don’t believe you. I just don’t anymore. Look what happened to Risa. She never did anything to you. She was sweet and kind and helped plan my wedding, for gods’ sake. You know, I tried to forgive and forget when it came to Yoichi’s father, and being poisoned, and all the other crazy stuff that has happened, but this? No. I’ll never forgive this. My parents will never see their grandchildren.”

“Miko, please.” I beg, bending my knees and clutching my hands together. “I want to be here for you. I never meant for any of this to happen.”

“I don’t care what you want.” Miko’s voice is acidic, burning with hatred.

I try to breathe, but my throat is completely closed off. My eyes fill with tears as Hiro runs up behind Miko. “That’s right, Miko. You give it to Sanaa good.” He encourages her by pushing on her arm before shoving me. “You heard her. Go. You should kill yourself now. You’re no good to anyone.”

I step out of Jiro’s arm, the world spinning around me. These are the people I’d do anything for. These are the people I’ve sacrificed my freedom and rights for, but they don’t want anything to do with me.

“Hiro! What in gods’ name are you doing?” Helena strides up, her limp almost completely absent, and grabs Hiro by the ear, pulling him back towards the temple. I look over at everyone standing on the porch. Mariko stares at the ground. Yoichi, his arms crossed, glares at me before comforting Usagi. Usagi is silent. Everyone is silent, even Sakai and Lucy. No one can defend me because my actions are indefensible. I can’t explain anything, and it’s not like they’ll believe me anyway.

What can I do but leave? I pivot on my heel and run for the gate. I always knew there would be a day when no one would be on my side. I never thought it would be at a funeral.

“Sanaa, wait!” Jiro runs after me but I don’t want to stop. I want to run until I’ve left it all far, far behind.

“Stop,” he yells, catching up to me, grabbing my arm, and flinging me to him. “Where are you going?”

“Back to the house. Where else am I going to go? I’m not welcome anywhere else but our room.” I rub the tears from my eyes and cheeks and wipe them on my kimono. “I’m going to our room with my cat and my owl — pretty much the only two beings I can trust lately. Maybe I should just kill myself and leave you all in peace.”

Jiro shakes me so hard, my head whips back. “Don’t you ever joke about that. Ever.”

“Oh yeah?” I rip my arms out of his grasp. “You don’t agree with them? You don’t think I’m to blame for this? Come on, Jiro. You’ve said a million times it’s not my fault. Aren’t you finally convinced?”

He groans and runs his hands through his hair, his fingers clenching against his scalp.

“No. I think they’re crazy. No one spends more time with you than I do. No one sees what I see. No one realizes how much you’ve sacrificed to get us to this point.”

I stay quiet and watch him for a lie. Would he lie to me about this?

“I believe in you,” he says, his voice full of heartbreak.

My lower lip shakes as I throw myself into his chest. “I was sure you’d run after me and tell me to go to hell like everyone else has.”

“Why would you think that? Don’t you trust me?” He squeezes me to him and I shake my head.

“I trust everyone, you know that. So many people turn on me, I thought you’d be next.”

“You won’t be rid of me that easily.” Jiro’s lips touch my bare neck and warmth spreads through me.

“Listen,” I say, pulling away from him. “Let’s go. Just you and me. Let’s leave and take care of this mess ourselves.”

He bobs his head back and forth.

“We’ll go to Koga first,” I press on, now that I have him thinking. “Confront him about the ninjas who left ranks and sided with Taira Clan. We get him on our side.”

“How?” Jiro strokes his chin.

“I don’t know. I’ll come up with something. And then we find Taira Clan, kill Miura, and take out Fujiwara.”

Jiro laughs. “You make it sound easy.”

“It’ll be super easy, I’m sure.” I snap my fingers and try to smile.

Jiro shakes his head but smiles.

“I’m ready to do what’s best for the colonization or die trying. Haven’t I always done this?”

Jiro holds up his hand and ticks his fingers off one-by-one. “You gave up your life and job, gave up your friends, gave up the ability to marry, you lost all your freedom, you were kidnapped and brutalized, you lost your child, you lost weight and sleep, you went into a risky surgery to gain an advantage on the enemy without even knowing it would work, and now you’ve lost even more family and friends.” Jiro is out of fingers.

My life is as empty as this part of town, vacant.

“I have nothing left to lose but you and my aunts. I’ve already saved my aunts once, and they’ll be safe living on the estate again. So let’s go out fighting together, okay?”

Bringing his hands to my jaw, he looks me in the eyes for a moment, gauging how serious my actions are by the width of my pupils and the beat of my pulse in my temple, before pulling me in and kissing me hard. I narrowly avoid clashing teeth with him, his grip is so strong, but I open my mouth and allow him to siphon away my soul, take my strength. It appears I have more of it than is humanly possible.

My lips try to hold onto him as long as I can, staying in this moment so I don’t have to move forward if I don’t want to, but he has someplace he should be. I push him away, reluctantly.

“Go spend time with your family and put Oyama to rest. Please express my apologies to him I wasn’t there for his funeral.”

Jiro squeezes me one more time before turning my shoulders towards the road to the estate.

“Sanaa, it’s dangerous to be out here by yourself. Be careful.”