Myra’s Big Mistake – Chapter 13

I’m quiet throughout dinner, which surprises no one. I usually don’t talk. My sisters, especially the younger ones, can keep a conversation going without me. If you could bottle their energy, it would fly us to the next solar system. No one ever asks about my work, or how I’m doing at the izakaya, or what I’m drawing, or anything. I’m used to it.

Nosuké talks with Suri about her job at the I.A. and her time in orbit. My mom is enraptured with his opinions on planting gardens for the summer. He answers Winta’s questions about Ringo and how they met. He talks with Rosa and Demi about football.

Unfortunately, Dad keeps quiet except to remark on the spring festival from the previous week and how good the band was. He refuses to make eye contact with me. He’s angry beyond all sense, and there’s nothing I can do about it. I knew this was a bad idea on my way up the hill, but I did it anyway. Maybe it was supposed to happen.

After dinner, I excuse myself to the back porch to sit with Mochi while Nosuké and Ean have a drink together. I should have stayed inside and helped clean up, but I do enough of that at the izakaya. I need the break.

The night is chilly, but the porch is welcoming with lit candles, plush cushions, and heavy blankets. Mochi climbs into my lap, turns in a circle three times, and curls up into a ball, tucking his snout under his tail.

“Did you eat?” I ask him, resting my hand on his back and absently smoothing his fur.

“Oh yes. What a feast.” He yawns, and I smile at his little pink tongue. “Your mother treats the animals well.” He turns over so he can look up at me. “I had a conversation with Finn about Suri.”

“You did?” This grabs my attention. “And what did you learn?”

He sighs. “That your father will never change. He may attempt to be a better businessman, but for his own family, nothing but the best will do. He will never accept me.”

My eyes fill with tears at the matter-of-fact tone. It shouldn’t be this way. Mochi is a treasure, a gift from the gods to me. He’s my heart, and hopefully, in the future, he’ll share that place with a man I love, too. But everything else will be hard — my family, my friends, my work — because of him.

Still, he is never a mistake. Never.

“Don’t cry,” he pleads, rubbing his nose against my hand. “Your mother, sisters, friends, and the other animals are welcoming. We can get by without him.”

We can get by without him.

Speaking of…

The door slides open, and my father emerges from the house, a glass of water in his hand. He sets a cushion down across from me and sits.

“Please ask your animal to leave so we can speak.”

Mochi sighs, sits up, stretches leisurely, and saunters off.

“He can understand you, Dad.” I roll my eyes, and it only enrages him.

“Do all of my daughters have so little respect for me?”

I pluck at the blanket and brush a leaf off. “Respect is earned, not bestowed.”

My parents are some of the only people I can confront without panicking, but even this may be going too far. My heart races, and my chest tightens with the anticipation of a fight.

“I can’t believe you brought him here tonight. What were you hoping to accomplish with this?” When I don’t answer, he leans forward. “Seriously, Myra. I’m not asking rhetorical questions for my own health.”

I sigh. “Nosuké and I are…” I have to pause to decide: friends or more? “We’re dating, and I was hoping he could get to know my family. You and Mom have always talked about how happy you would be when we brought someone home.”

It’s weird to say we’re dating but also comforting at the same time. But looking at Dad’s horrified expression, I shouldn’t get used to this feeling.

“Not him,” Dad growls.

“Well, I guess there have always been conditions on your love.” My statement is damning, but if I thought he was going to apologize, I was wrong.

“Of course there are,” he replies, sitting up straight. “I do not give my love and attention to people who openly defy me. You are only doing this, dating him, to make me angry.”

“That’s not true,” I state, but he shakes his head. “Fine. Don’t believe me. But I brought him here so you two could find some common ground on this whole casino blow-up.”

Dad laughs. “That’s never going to happen.”

“Isn’t it your job to listen to your citizens and come to decisions based on what’s right for them?” I went too far. His face tightens.

“Don’t you dare tell me what my job is. I do not let children who fail their exams, barely pass out of that joke of a culinary school, and go on to be, what, a lowly line cook at an izakaya tell me how to be mayor.”

My whole body has gone numb. It’s one thing to suspect my father has felt this way, and it’s another to hear it out loud.

“You forgot that I’m ugly, overweight, and paired with a skunk.” If I have tears, they are frozen inside me because I am stone-cold angry now. “You pushed Suri away. She can barely speak to you anymore. Looking to do the same thing for all your daughters?”

“Just the disobedient ones. You’ve never been disobedient until now. You’ve made mistakes, a lot of them, and I’m unhappy with the course of your career, for sure. But what you’re doing here is unacceptable. You cannot date a Maeda.” His eyes are wide. “They’re the mob. Is that what you want for your life?”

I press my lips together and nod my head. “You are passing judgment on Nosuké based on how his father was on Earth a long, long time ago. Their family has changed since then.”

“What do you even see in him?” he asks with a sneer.

I take a deep breath, knowing these might be the last words I say to my father. “Nosuké is kind. He’s successful and aware of his position. He’s willing to make changes to do what’s best for him and this town. I…” I shrug. “I see a man who thinks I’m a catch. He likes to talk to me, share food with me, spend time with me. He likes me for who I am.”

I look down at my lap. At least, I hope so. After tonight, that may not be the case.

“Myra, you’re being naïve.”

“I’m not naïve, and you’re being an ass.” I lift my chin, proud that I’m sticking up for myself.

His jaw tightens. “I forbid you from seeing him. Do you hear me? You cannot date him or be seen with him or be anywhere near him. This directly interferes with my career and your family’s safety.”

I forgot to breathe over a minute ago, and now there’s nothing left in my body. Nothing. No air. No light. No love for this man. How do I even share genes with him? Maybe my mom did sleep with the gardener. It would explain a lot.

He stands up. “And get rid of the skunk. He’s not welcome in our family either.”

I gasp and bring my hand to my chest. “How can you be so cruel? He’s my pair. My heart. You know how important that is. I got the chip when I was thirteen, and I waited another thirteen years for him to come into my life.”

Dad’s paired with several cats in his lifetime, and they have all stood by him through everything.

“You’ll find another pair.”

“No. It took me forever to find Mochi,” I say, standing up and getting nose to nose with him. “And guess what? You don’t get to forbid me from doing anything. Mochi was right. We can get by without you.”

This knocks him back a step.

“Yes, that’s right. Go ahead and cut me off from my family. I have a job and my own place. I haven’t taken money from anyone in the family for at least five years now. The only thing you’ll be losing is your reputation as a family man.” I reach out and poke him in the chest. “Keep it up, Dad. Drive us all away, so you have no one left. Maybe you’ll learn a good lesson this way.”

I turn to the garden. “Mochi, it’s time to go!”

He comes bounding out of the bushes. “I’ll meet you out front.”

I slide the door open, and Nosuké is standing right there, a frown on his face and two glasses of wine in his hands. He sighs, and his shoulders drop. Something tells me he’s been listening in. I take one glass, chug the contents, and slap it back into his hand.

“Mom!” I call into the kitchen, stalking past Nosuké without stopping. “We’re leaving!” I grab our coats from the front hall and point Nosuké to his shoes. He sets the two glasses on a nearby table.

“Myra, let’s stay and talk this out,” he insists, though he still grabs his shoes.

“There’s nothing for me to talk about.”

Mom appears at the door, my cheesecake on a dessert platter surrounded by fresh fruit. It looks amazing.

“You’re not staying for dessert?” She frowns, looking down at the platter.

“No,” I say, approaching her. I kiss her on the cheek. “Enjoy the cake. It’s my best one yet.”

We walk out the door and meet Ringo and Mochi right out front.

I have fucked up my life beyond all recognition, and now I have to live with the consequences. Mochi will have to live with it too, and I hate that I’ve done this to him as well.

Fuck this nonsense. I just need to pull away. I’ll hole up at home until it goes away. All of it. My dad, my fight with Ruby, Nosuké — all of it must go.

I’m quiet on the walk down the hill to the main road. This path will take us back to my neighborhood and the casinos farther on.

“I’m sorry,” Nosuké says, interrupting a tirade of negative thoughts in my head. “This is my fault.”

I stop him under a lit streetlamp. “It’s not your fault. It was a long time coming.” I sigh as I wrap my arms around myself. “My father has never respected me, never really cared for me. I’m the family fuck-up who can’t do anything right. So I’m sorry that you chose me for this, to get into my father’s good graces. You bet on black, and red came up instead. Now, I’ve fucked this up for you, too.” I let go of myself and reach out to squeeze his arm. “We don’t have to do this. You don’t need to pretend to like me or date me anymore. The sex…” I gasp and hang my head. “The sex was great, fucking amazing, the best I’ve ever had. But it can’t go on like this. I can’t keep believing you like me when there’s no way any man ever could with my life the way it is.”

I let go and press my hand to my lips. “I’m sorry. I’ll do what I can for you regarding the casino. What you need to do is figure out how to make the plans more palatable to him and not mention me at all.” I shake my head and backtrack. “No. Actually, tell him that you never intended to date me. Yeah?”

I look into his eyes, and I don’t know what I see there. His face has lost all expression.

“That’ll score some points.” I squeeze his arm again and let go. “He’ll feel vindicated, like he won. I’m sure it will be good for you.” I take a step back. “Thank you for showing me some love and attention. It was magical.” I train my eyes on the stars, and they swim in my tears. I wish I was in space, yet I’ll probably never go there. “And thank you for dinner at Kisetsu. It was a once-in-a-lifetime meal. I’m glad I got to spend the evening with you.”

I pop a brief smile as I turn to leave.

“Come on, Mochi. Let’s go home.”

My feet speed up as we make our way down the hill.

“Myra! I wasn’t pretending!” he calls out.

I’ve said all I need to say. I keep going.