Fukusha Model Eight – Chapter 22

Sunlight reflects off the puddles as we walk up the hill to the flower district of Susami. The air is cool and rich with moisture, a change from the hot and dry day before. A thunderstorm came in off the coast about an hour after I passed out, rolled through the no-name town, and up the valley to Susami, leaving every plant green and plump and every path wet and muddy.

“I hope that my landlady hasn’t taken me for dead and sold all of my belongings on the black market,” Rin says, trudging up the hill next to me.

“Are you sure you want to come back here?” I ask, cataloging the buildings as we march up the street. “Atsumi knows where you live. Our enemies know too. This does not seem like a wise decision.”

“One or two nights, tops, and then we’re gone. If anything seems amiss, I’ll get us out right away.”

Butterflies fight an all-out war in my stomach as we approach a row of townhouses, all packed with flowers and plants of all kinds in the bottom storefronts. The morning hustles along as people grab bouquets of cut flowers or hem and haw over a bamboo centerpiece. An older man washes away the dirt from last night’s rainfall with a hose while a younger man sweeps up behind him.

“How did you find this place?” I ask, keeping Ninjin on a tight leash. I don’t want him lunging for the flowers. He loves to pee on bushes.

“I didn’t. Okamoto did. He has his hands in every business on the planet. All of these plants are grown in his greenhouses which he purchased from Aka Matsuba about a decade ago. Diversification is key on Hikari if you want to stay nimble.”

Rin bypasses a storefront and digs through his bag to find his keyring.

“I really wish they used more technology here,” he grumbles as he squints at his keys.

I survey the door and the surrounding businesses. Everyone looks happy, healthy, and responsible. Nothing like the neighborhood I lived in.

“Well, at least your building is secure.” I reach past him and jiggle the door handle. “The door seems heavy and stable. There are no needles or drug paraphernalia around the entrance. The lights are on inside the vestibule.” I shrug my shoulders. “Looks a million times better than what I lived in.”

Rin blinks at me a few times, then the door swings open and startles us both.

“Mr. Hara!” An older woman wearing a handkerchief on her head smiles at Rin, and he bows back. “I thought maybe you were dead! Come in, come in.” She waves him in but quickly raises her hand to me. “Sorry, Miss. Whatever you’re selling, I’m not buying, and no dogs allowed.”

“Oh, wait, Mrs. Iwai. This is, uh… This is my girlfriend, Yumi. I’ve been gone for a bit because I went to Kitakyushu to bring her here.”

I keep quiet, trying not to worry about this, though my stomach is in knots already. A few months ago, I would’ve bowed to this woman, introduced myself, and made myself at home. My, how times change. Now, I’m frightened of pretty much everything.

“You never said you had a girlfriend, Mr. Hara.” She narrows her eyes at Rin. I’m close to doing the same. “I thought I would set you up with my daughter.”

Rin smiles politely though the sentiment doesn’t reach his eyes. “I’ve met your daughter, and she’s a very nice woman. I’m sure she’ll have no trouble finding a boyfriend. But yes, Yumi and I have been dating for… some time.” He clears his throat. “And we’ve been on the road for a few days.”

Hint hint. We’re tired, and we want to get inside.

She settles her hand on her hip. “You’ve lived here for three months, and I’ve not seen her once. You know I don’t rent out to transients, and we have a strict no-animals policy. I never agreed with Aka Matsuba and their stranglehold on the animal population.”

Rin’s face hardens into concrete, and my underarms sweat.

For fuck’s sake, I would like just one day to go okay. Just one.

Rin sighs as he zips open his bag and digs around for his tablet. “If I remember correctly, there’s a one thousand credit fee to cover animal damage to the property. Not that animals are forbidden.”

“Well…” She bites her lip as Rin finds whatever he’s looking for and shows it to her. “But you didn’t pay that fee. No one pays the fee because I don’t let animals in the building. I’d rather not deal with the hassle.”

Rin taps away at his tablet. “There. The fee has been paid, and I’ve forwarded the newly updated lease to Mr. Okamoto. Come, Yumi, Ninjin.” Rin leans into the vestibule, pushing open the door and widening the space for Ninjin and me to enter. I try to smile at Mrs. Iwai, but she shoots death rays from her eyes at me.

“You have a lovely building, Mrs. Iwai,” I say, dipping my head and squeezing past Rin.

“Of course I do.” She sniffs and crosses her arms. “And I’d like to keep it that way. This isn’t some halfway house, young lady, and I don’t like strangers in my building. Keep that in mind.”

My temper flares, burning red hot right beneath the surface, and I turn to lash out at her. Rin grabs my upper arm and leads me to the stairs before I can open my mouth.

“Don’t. I’ll get a new place for us. Just, not tonight.”

I look behind us as we reach the top of the stairs, and Mrs. Iwai has her eyes on us all the way to the door. Pressing my lips together, I measure out what I want to say once the door is closed. Life cannot go on like this.

Inside of Rin’s apartment, I let go of Ninjin’s leash and my jaw drops. The place is absolutely gorgeous. Wood floors and clean white walls highlight all the little things Rin had transferred from his apartment back in Shin-Osaka. Bright sunlight from a set of glass doors that leads onto a balcony bounces off his wire sculptures creating reflections on the ceiling. A well-appointed kitchen sits right ahead, clean and ready for someone to cook in it.

The scene brings tears to my eyes as I slip out of my shoes and cross the floor to his couch. This is the couch I laid on in his apartment, where we held each other those days after we first had sex, where I would put my feet up after a long and tiring day at K&G Noodles. Even the blanket is here.

The pull of the couch is irresistible, a force ten times stronger than the gravity of a star. I head right for it, slide the blanket off the couch’s arm, lie down in the fetal position, and push myself right up and into the back of it. A long, deep breath fills my lungs, the scent of Rin enveloping me in a hug before the tears come.

Ninjin’s nose pokes at my back, and the couch sinks with Rin’s weight. His hand rests gently on my head, stroking my hair.

“What’s wrong, Yumi?”

I sniff up, trying to pull the traitorous tears back into me. Shaking my head, I press my eyes closed.

“Please. Talk to me.”

“You know,” I say, my voice cracking, “when I heard I would have my own apartment in Kitakyushu, I was actually kinda excited.” I laugh and press my eyes closed against the onslaught of tears. “I’ve never had my own place. I’ve always lived at home. My family has this long, rambling estate, and I had my privacy, so I never thought to leave and live on my own. But that room, it’s like a fucking nightmare.” I close my eyes, and I see the room in the flophouse, the dirty floors, the broken window, the dingy bed, the tiny sink, the cockroaches that skitter over the dead android with the knife sticking out of its beheaded eye.

“I’m so lost here. I’m not a journalist. I’m not a Minamoto. I’m not even your girlfriend because if I were that wouldn’t have happened downstairs. I don’t even remember the name of the town we were going to go back and live in. Awa-something.”

“Awashikawa,” Rin whispers, his lips on my temple. He’s hovering over me now, his hands on the blanket, trying to bring it up to cover me.

“I don’t remember your apartment number in Shin-Osaka. I’ve been injured, almost killed, owned and discarded so many times I’ve lost count. My brain is fried. I’m going to start a corporation, and I’m the worst candidate for it. I’ll forget important details or be struck with a migraine when I’m supposed to be working or saving people. This is all a huge mistake.” I bite my lip to stop it from trembling. “I just want to go home.”

I’ve lost any good humor or sarcasm I carried with me to the Southern Continent. My snarky replies and spunky attitude got up and left a few days ago. I’m back with Rin, but our relationship feels awkward and business-like. I still have feelings for him, feelings that run so deep they’re an abyss I can’t see the bottom of, but it’s not like we have a ‘relationship.’ We have an ‘understanding,’ and it’s not the same. It’s not long looks over an intimate dinner. It’s not kissing in the kitchen while trying to cook. It’s not seeing each other dressed up across the room and pining for them.

I thought I didn’t want those things. I thought I was happy being unattached and hard as permafrost.

I was so wrong.

Rin gets up from the couch and returns to slip a pillow under my head and another blanket on top of me.

“Rest,” he says, rubbing my back. “You need lots of rest, and we’ll figure out what to do next once you’ve slept.”