First Flyght – Chapter 17

Up at space dock, the door to the Amagi slides open, and Skylar is standing right in front of me.

“Where have you been?” she demands, her hand on her hip. Dark grease smudges on her cheek are at odds with her coal-rimmed eyes and extra long lashes.

Those eyes scan me from top to toe but come to a screeching halt at the bag I’m carrying.

She gasps and steps back from the door as I barrel past her.

“Vivian Naomi Kawabata, what did you do?”

I try not to smile at the note of exasperation in her voice. She sounds so much like her mother. She would deny it if I said so though.

“Nothing.” I do not make eye contact.

“You did something all right.” Her tone has switched from exasperation to disappointment, and my temper flares.

I spin around. “I bought the fucking shoes, okay?”

“Not okay. Not even a little bit!” She throws her hands up in the air. “We are so pressed for cash we’re going to be running back to the Brazilianos system on fumes.”

“Not true.” I point my finger at her as I weave through the ship. “We have enough fuel to last us a month and plenty of money to pay our way through most difficulties for at least another week, maybe ten days.” Plus, I have credit I can use. My own credit. No one else’s. No one else is offering to put themselves in debt for our benefit.

“Vivian, that’s nothing.”

“Bullshit. It’s something. Don’t think I haven’t been paying attention to every credit spent around here. I bought all the clothes Marcelo told me to buy, paid all the docking and shuttle fees, and I’ve spent the last few nights up running all the numbers.”

Skylar takes a step back, raising her eyebrows.

“What? You think I haven’t been paying attention?”

“Of course not, it’s just —”

“What?”

She sighs. “Nothing.”

“She’s jealous,” Ai butts in, and I jump.

“Fuck off!” Skylar yells at the ceiling.

“I’d be happy to. Shall I produce a list of acceptable vibrators for you to purchase —”

“Ai,” I growl in warning. “Now is not the time.”

I sigh, and turning towards the crew quarters, I take off again. I expect Skylar to follow me, anyway.

“Jesus, Sky. Next time you buy an AI, test it out first.”

“Lesson learned. Trust me,” she says, following me into my room.

I set the bag with my new shoes on the bed and kick off the plain pumps I wore all day.

“So, really, where have you been?” Skylar asks, throwing herself into my chair. I glance over at her as I pull the shoebox from the bag. She looks tired, the dark shadow around her eyes trying to hide her fatigue. Her nails are chipped, and her hair is in a messy ponytail. I hardly ever see her like this.

“Ai’s right. Of course. Stupid, backstabbing pile of ones and zeroes.” She looks up waiting for Ai to say something, but the room remains quiet. “You’re off getting spa treatments and pedicures and…” She stops as I open the shoebox and extract my new shoes. “The most gorgeous shoes I’ve ever seen.” She groans and drops her head. “Why are my feet so small? I’ll never be able to borrow them!”

Though I’m chuckling inside, I don’t let it show. I hold the shoes in my hands and try to stop myself from crying.

“How about we trade places?” I sit on the edge of the bed and slip my right foot into the right shoe. “You go out, get the Flyght permit, embarrass yourself in front of your ex, find new men to date, track down my lying, thieving brother” — the left shoe slides onto my foot like it was made just for me — “and live at the mercy of my family forever and ever, amen.”

I stand up and walk to the wardrobe, opening the door to look into the full-length mirror. I turn left and right, admiring the shoes from every possible angle. I think I’ll wear them every day from here to eternity. I don’t care if they make me so tall I’m practically a mountain.

“Congratulations, Vivian,” I say to myself in the mirror. “Summa cum laude. You’ll never see that diploma, but you earned it.”

Skylar hoists herself up from the chair and stands behind me.

“You at least bought them on credit, right?”

I sigh as I close the wardrobe door.

“Yep, right after I humiliated myself by asking Ken for a Flyght permit.”

“What?” Her jaw drops. “The Ken? Ken Mata?”

“The very same.” I sit down on the bed and pull the shoes off. I immediately want to put them back on.

“So, we got the permit?” She jumps towards me with a smile on her face, on the verge of cheering.

I bark out a sarcastic laugh. “Are you high? What makes you think he’d give us a permit because I asked for it?”

“He didn’t?” She seems so confused.

“No, of course, he didn’t. I broke his fucking heart, Sky. I think he was hoping he’d never see me again.”

She blinks and looks side to side. “Never see you again? Come on. He’s barely dated anyone since you broke up.”

I shoot her an annoyed look, pinching my lips into an X.

“What? I do my research.” She pokes herself in the chest. “He’s definitely not over you. I totally don’t understand why he said no.”

“I do. I fucked that one up big time. We’re in a load of pig shit now. I don’t think we’re ever going to get the Flyght permit, even if we go unload these animals and get back in the queue. He’ll be on the lookout for me, watching to see if I come back. And let me tell you, he doesn’t want me anywhere near him.”

Skylar opens her mouth, stops, and closes it.

“What now?”

She pauses for a breath. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this.”

“Like what?” I place the shoes back in their box. I better protect them. They’re now my investment. If things get rough, I can always resell them.

“We’re family, right?” She shrugs. “So you’ve always been my closest buddy. None of the friends I’ve ever made came close to being as special as you.”

She catches her reflection in my mirror again as I open the wardrobe to put the shoes inside. Rubbing away at the grease on her cheek, she eyes me from the side.

“And I know I’m your best friend, yet this is the most I’ve ever seen you talk or even get worked up over anything.”

I don’t respond, and there’s a good reason why. I love Skylar, to the edge of the universe and back, but she will be super upset if I say anything about my circumstances.

What are these sorry circumstances? I am the person other people come to with their troubles. I’m the shoulder they cry on, the giver of advice, the silent listener. Never mind the fact that I’ve had my own troubles over the years and no one ever had the time to listen to me. There was a period of my life, for about a year, when I convinced myself that being the victim of attention-neglect was only making things worse, so I should force people to listen to me. “Take charge of your life, Vivian!” I would scream in my own head. But I was invisible to my family and friends unless they needed something from me. I would call them, ask for the time, and they never had it. Lord knows I tried.

But if I tell this to Skylar right now, she’ll just be hurt and offended. She’ll deny it. It’s not worth the time and effort.

“Are you upset with me?” I try to keep the disappointment out of my voice.

“For what? The shoes?”

“For being so worked up over this.”

Her lips cock to the side. “I don’t know. It’s just not like you. I knew you’d be upset, maybe even angry, over the whole situation. But I figured you’d handle it like everything else you’ve ever handled.”

I close my eyes. “You’re right. I’m taking this way too personally.”

“It’s not that. It’s…” She pauses, her eyebrows drawing together. She sighs. “I don’t know. I don’t blame you for being upset, but I don’t want you to give up, you know? We have a long way to go.”

My doorbell rings, and Marcelo’s name pops up in my ocular display. Speaking of not giving up…

“Look.” I drop my voice and then realize I don’t need to. All the crew quarters are sound-proofed, and Marcelo can’t hear me when he’s outside. “I didn’t tell Marcelo about my connection to Ken. I’m not ready to tell him. I may never tell him.”

“Vivian, the man is practically psychic. He’ll figure it out, eventually.”

“Well,” I say, smoothing out my shirt, “not from me and not today.”

I head for the door and open it with a smile.

“Hello, Marcelo. How was your… day?”

He smiles, a hint of politeness to it that I feel humors me when I’m not charming enough for him.

“It is still daytime, yes. Probably just after noon now.”

I’m impressed that he’s always so put together. If he ate a meal today, I’d never know it. Not a crumb or spot anywhere on him. Me, on the other hand? My ruined pants are in a bag at the bottom of my wardrobe. I’ll stuff them in the pulse washer as soon as I’m alone again.

“I should make lunch, then. So…” I fold my arms over my chest as Marcelo sets his bag down next to his feet. “I’d like to move forward with a date sometime soon.”

“Is that so? I haven’t received your lists from you yet.”

I hold up my hands, palms out. “I promise you’ll have them within the hour. So, date? Yes?”

Skylar reaches for my hand. “Viv, wait. We should talk some more about how to get that Flyght permit or what else we can do first before —”

“I’m done talking.” I move my hand from within her reach and morph the gesture into rubbing my own neck. “No one listens to me, anyway. If we’re going to find men for me to date and marry, then we better get started right away. The whole process may take a while since I have no natural charm or good looks. Other people in my family got those attributes, not me.”

I inhale a deep breath through my nose, close my eyes, and let out my lungs in a huff. I sound bitter, I know it.

“See? There’s nothing to be jealous of, Sky. I’ll treat you to a spa day as soon as I get my first paycheck.”

Skylar pushes past me, heading for the corridor. “I never realized how self-deprecating you were until right now.” She turns around and faces me, just beyond Marcelo. “I know your family never treated you very well. They made you the family savior and slave all at once.” She covers her heart with her hand. “But I’ve never thought of you that way. Not once.” She points right at me. “No more fancy shoes. We need a mechanic.”

She storms off, and I sigh. I hate fighting with Skylar. Even when she starts the fights, I end up sorry and apologizing later.

“I remember when the two of you were young,” Marcelo says, bringing my attention back to him. “You always followed Skylar around while she dictated what you’d play, when you’d play, and how you’d play. It seems not much has changed in almost twenty years.”

“Times change. People do not.” That’s something I learned from a very early age.

“Indeed. But you’re the captain now. Other people will have to play by your rules. And speaking of dates, I’ve spent the last day compiling my list of bachelors for you to meet, so I’ll set something up for you tonight.”

“Tonight?” That leaves me only a few hours to rest, and I barely slept last night before shuttling down to Concord City to make an ass of myself in front of Ken.

“You wanted to get started as soon as possible, no?”

I nod, chastened. I did say that.

“I’m still working on figuring out what to do about Flyght. Some interesting information has come my way about it, and I have to dig a little deeper before I can advise us on our next steps.”

“Okay. Good. Thanks for your help, Marcelo. We couldn’t do this without you.” And I mean it, too. Without a relationship broker, I would be in hell. There’s no way I’d find anyone to date me. I just don’t have the contacts for that.

“It’s my pleasure, Ms. Vivian. Get some rest. You have a busy evening ahead.”