Face Time – Chapter 40

Lee

The kitchen is silent when I walk in, my mother alone again at the wide, dark wood table. This room used to be filled with lively family conversation. Now the lights are dim and the only sound is the wind in the trees outside.

“Mom, I’m going to leave soon with Laura.” I sit down in Laura’s chair. Her turquoise scarf is still here, draped over the back, so I fold it and set it on the table. “I won’t be back.”

“How can you stay with that girl after what she did?” she asks, and I’m relieved she’s back to English. I don’t want to fight with her in Korean.

“Mom, it’s not as if it’s any of your business, but Laura’s abortion happened a very long time ago. Over ten years ago. It’s in the past.” I sigh and tap my fingers on the table. “You should have talked with me before accusing her of things you know nothing about.”

“I don’t have to explain myself to my own children.”

I close my eyes against the rage building up in my chest. She’s so fucking antagonistic. “You should get to know her. She’s sweet and kind and talented, and she loves me…”

“Sandra loves you.”

I burst into laughter, a marked contrast to my sobbing fifteen minutes ago. “Sandra loves my money and this family’s stature, but she most certainly doesn’t love me.”

“Are you going to marry this girl?” She turns her hard eyes on me, and I’m struck with how cold and sad she is. I want to hug her, and I hate myself for feeling that way after all she’s put me through. But she lost her husband this week, she’s fighting with her kids, and she thinks she’s lost standing in the community because Sandra and I have broken up.

“Mom, I don’t know. We’ve only been dating six weeks. Give me a break, will you?”

“You don’t even know her.”

“I know plenty about her,” I roar, slamming my hand on the table. “She’s amazing. She’s scrappy and resourceful. I think she reminds me of great-grandma Park… like she was during the Korean War.” My great-grandmother scavenged for food for her family during the war so they wouldn’t starve. She was strong and capable, too. Picked up her whole family and moved them to Busan, then split sons and daughters up, and sent her sons to America. All of the stories I’ve heard about her remind me of Laura.

My mouth suddenly won’t move. I imagine the love of my life in her mid-twenties, skin and bones, starving and picking rotting meat out of garbage cans in a back alley, and a shock of nausea turns my stomach on its side. No wonder she loves to cook and eat good food now. “She’s one of the best people I’ve ever met.”

“But, Lee…”

“Stop, Mom. There’s more potential with Laura than there ever was with Sandra. Sandra didn’t want kids. She wanted me to settle down and spend money on her. She wanted the big house and the country club. And I could just see us, ten years from now, and I hated it. I want to marry someone I love who loves me. I want kids and a family. I want a spouse who’s happy no matter how much money we have in the bank. And I definitely don’t want to live here in Seattle.”

She turns her face from me and stares silently out the window again. I wait, stupidly hoping she’ll say I’m right and that I do deserve all those things because that’s what a loving mother should say to her child.

I lean forward and try to catch her eye, but I’ve been dismissed. I might as well be dead to her now, just like Dad.

I grab Laura’s scarf and stand up. “Okay, well, I’m going to get Laura, and we’re leaving before dinner.”

I wait again for some kind of acknowledgment, but she sits as still as stone.

Without saying goodbye, I walk out of the kitchen and straight into Jin, Mimi, Nari, and Daniel in the front entryway.

“Lee,” Jin says, his tense shoulders relaxing. “Were you talking with Mom?”

“Yes. I’m not welcome here anymore and neither is Laura, so we’re leaving.” I stretch my neck around them all to see the caterer’s van pull up in the driveway and block me in. “Where are the boys?”

“They’re playing video games.” Nari reaches for my arm, and I extend both of mine and hug her. She even feels different from how she used to, substantial and real. Nari is a whole new person.

“I’m sorry we didn’t talk. I think Laura and I will be in town for a few more days. Will you come meet us for dinner?”

Nari squeezes me and lets go, looking to Daniel, and he nods. “We’ll get a babysitter.”

I give Mimi a hug and kiss on the cheek then hug Jin too. “You all should come to South Korea this summer. I’d even be happy to take Kade and Leland for a few weeks if you want to travel.”

“We’d love that,” Mimi says with a smile. “I don’t remember the last time we had time to ourselves.”

“I can’t take credit for the idea, it was Laura’s.” I step away from them all and grab my shoes. “Now I need to tell this van to unblock my car.”

“Oh, I can go.” Jin turns for the door. “I still have my shoes on.”

“Don’t bother. I have to get something from the car anyway before I meet Laura downstairs. We’ll say goodbye on the way out.”