Face Time – Chapter 35

Laura

My afternoon at the funeral home drones on and on. Chase is a sweet kid and stays by my side all day, playing on my iPhone and talking incessantly about Rescue Bots, which I knew nothing of but am now fully versed in including which characters change into which rescue vehicles, et cetera, et cetera. The weather clears between 3:00 and 4:00pm so I take him out back to the garden and let him run around. Nari comes out and stands next to me, smiling at Chase.

“They should figure out how to bottle kids’ energy and sell it to everyone else,” she says, rubbing the corners of her eyes.

“Oooh. Now that would make a great dystopian novel. I need to write that down.” I mime patting my pockets and Nari laughs. Good. I was hoping to be the comic relief today if at all possible. “I was just telling Lee yesterday I’d like the ability to erase memories at will. That’s a story that’s already been done.”

“I’d like to erase today, if I could, especially lunch.” Nari nods, her shoulder-length hair, shorter in back than in front, bounces along with her head. “I’m sorry about my mother. She’s a righteous old bitch, very set in her ways.”

“Well, she doesn’t know me, so I won’t be too bothered by it.”

“That’s the right attitude to have. Lee stood up for you after you went to the car. He’s a good one to have on your side.”

My neck breaks out in a blush imagining Lee defending my honor. I press my cold hand to my clavicle to cool it down.

“Can I talk to you for a moment? Before we go back inside?” Nari asks.

I rearrange the collar of my coat to cover my blush while remembering all the conversations Lee and I had about this woman, his older sister who never gave him an ounce of love. What I’ve heard is at odds with the person I’ve come to know today.

“Sure.”

Chase zooms by us, and we both lunge out and tickle him as he runs by. His high-pitched laughter echoes in the small garden. I wonder what Nari is about to confess, and my heart is beating so fast I might up and die. At least I’m in the right place for it.

“I think you’re perfect for Lee, and I wanted to tell you that…”

I turn and face her, my mouth open and eyes wide.

“And I’m wondering if you’ll do me favor?”

I laugh. “I guess it’s going to depend on the favor.”

“Fair enough.” She takes a huge breath, and folds her arms across her chest. “Sorry about what I’m about to dump on you, but I know I’ve been a horrible sister to Lee. Last year, Danny threatened to leave me if I didn’t get help. I was a miserable person, clinically depressed for years and drinking heavily in secret. I went to AA and got sober, got a therapist and happy pills, and turned things around. I stopped seeing all of the people that made me worse, including Sandra and the others in our crowd. And it’s one of the things I have to do, apologize to all the people I’ve hurt…”

She sighs and smiles at Chase climbing over the back of a bench. I wince as he does a death-defying leap and lands on his knees, but he jumps up and keeps going. He’s distracting me from the growing ache in my chest. This family is a lot more complicated than mine, and I thought mine was bad.

“It’s hard to bring this up to Lee because he doesn’t know. None of the family knew. I mean, I was a bitch for years but no one knew how depressed I was. I would silently get drunk at family gatherings and then abuse Danny as soon as we got in the car. I kept it from all of them, especially my mom, especially my recovery. If she knew I was taking anti-depressants and seeing a therapist, she’d disown me. I’m sad I never got the chance to apologize to Dad.”

Nari starts crying, and I hesitate a moment before hugging her. My embrace is awkward at first, because I don’t know this woman at all, but something in her told her to trust me. She softens as I pat her back, and I let her squeeze me, as an extension of Lee. When she pulls away, I get a tissue out of my bag and give it to her. I’m providing tissues to the whole Park clan today.

“Would you mind telling Lee? I’m sorry I exploded all of this on you, but you just seem like… like someone I can talk to.”

On our first date, Lee said almost the same thing, that he and I clicked, and I was easy to talk to. Maybe Lee and Nari are not so different after all, just a little twist in the brain chemistry that’s kept her from bonding with her brother all these years. I don’t know if an explanation and an apology is going to fix their problems and erase a history of past wrongs, but it’s a step in the right direction.

“Sure. I’ll see what I can do.”

—-

Between 4:00 and 6:00pm, we have another break, so Lee takes me to get a slice of pizza and then coffee at a local cafe. While we’re standing and drinking from our hot cups near the window, several people approach Lee, express their condolences and stare openly at me. Each time, Lee introduces me as his girlfriend, and we shake hands and smile before the other person either nods and leaves or asks, “I thought you were back together with Sandra?” To which he replies, “No. Absolutely not.”

The whole situation is uncomfortable for me. None of these people look at me and think I belong, either in northern Seattle or next to Lee. If we stay together, this is the kind of treatment we’ll get for the rest of our lives. Normally I wouldn’t care, but the questions and stares bother Lee. His smile is gone, and his jaw is rigid. He slips his arm around my waist and kisses me on my temple but doesn’t say anything, just stares out the window until our coffee grows cold.

Is he freaked out by me too? We fell in love so fast, and I already know I love him completely. I wonder if he’s regretting this.

Back at the car, we stand together for a moment in the misting rain, Lee frozen with the keys in his hand before he lashes out and kicks the front tire with a lion-like roar.

“I never want to come back here again! I hate this place. I hate these people. It’s like I can’t have a real life outside of their narrow view of ‘How Lee Park Is Supposed to Live.’” He turns back to me, rage pouring from him so intense it’s almost scary, but it’s not because of me, so I stand my ground. “There are lots of reasons I left this place, and that…” He jabs his finger at the cafe. “Is one of many.”

Okay, he is not freaked out by me or regretting this new relationship. He is pissed off at everyone else.

“Lee,” I say, gently, but he’s fuming so mightily, he doesn’t hear me. “Lee!” I shout and step up to him. “You never have to come back here if you don’t want to. Never.”

“But…”

“No. You stand by your principles. If you want to see your family, let them come to you. My father never once came to see me.” My voice breaks, and he softens, the rage melting away. “I always went to him, even when he was abusive to me. I will not make that mistake again. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Just go and never come back. What would you be missing?”

“My nephews growing up?”

“Fly them to Korea. I’m sure they’ll love it. FaceTime with them every week. They have iPhones, for fuck’s sake.”

He laughs. That’s better.

“Look at how our relationship worked, and we could only see each other, couldn’t touch…” I get a little closer and snake my arm around his waist. “Couldn’t wipe each other’s tears. Couldn’t hug. Couldn’t kiss.” Tipping my face up to him, I nod my head and urge him to give me a kiss. He leans over, crushing me to his chest with both arms, and takes one of those dominant kisses that makes my knees weak, so hungry it tries to eat away the crap day we’ve both had.

He pulls back, and I gulp a huge breath of air deep into my lungs. I think my lips will be red for a few hours. Lee rests his forehead against mine until a car door slams two slots over and startles us.

“I want you to be happy,” I whisper into his ear. “Don’t let your mom pressure you into staying or coming back when you don’t want to.”

“Just two more hours of this and then I’m taking you back to the hotel. We’ll get under the covers, be warm and dry together, and I just want to sleep…”

“Just sleep it all away…”

“Yeah. I’m so glad you’re here with me.”

“I’d do anything for you, Lee. You just ask and I’ll be there.”

He nods his head and tries to focus on me, though he’s detached, far away. “I know what I want.” He pulls back from my face and smiles at me. He has a secret. “Tomorrow, I need to go shopping before we go to the house for dinner.”

“Okay.” I smile at him. “Alone?”

“Yes.” He laughs, and I relax my shoulders, unclench my jaw. “It’s the surprise I was thinking of in New York.”

I narrow my eyes at him. “Get in the car before you ruin it.”

—-

I’m chatting with Nari about yoga when Sandra enters the funeral home. It’s a Korean tradition for only the sons to stand by their parent in this situation, so we both see little of Lee or Jin all day. Daniel offered to take Chase home around 5:00pm, to feed him and put him to bed, but it leaves me friendless in a sea of unfamiliar Korean faces. I’m grateful for Nari taking an interest in me. I like Mimi, too, but she seems popular, and someone is always waiting to talk with her.

Nari’s face tightens, what little age lines she has around her eyes smoothing flat, and she squeezes my upper arm. “Sandra is here.” She lets go and looks at my bare bicep. “Maybe I should lift weights.”

I heft a small smile at her. Hey, if I can empower more women to exercise by showing off my arms, I don’t care how badly I offend Lee’s mom.

“I’ll point you in the direction of some good books,” I lean in and whisper before turning around.

My heart plummets to my stomach. Sandra is possibly the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen. Perfect height. Perfect, long, jet-black hair that flips a little along her shoulders. Perfect thin face with barely a wrinkle, rounded pink lips, and a dazzling white smile. The heads of most of the men turn and watch her remove her coat and hand it to an older, graying man who must be her father. She’s wearing a black wrap suit jacket and matching black pencil skirt and heels. She’s far and away better dressed than everyone else here. The outfit alone must have cost a fortune, not even mentioning the diamonds she’s wearing. I can see why Lee and Sandra were the power couple. Lee is always smartly dressed, his suits tailored perfectly. I wet my lips and swallow to keep the afternoon’s coffee in my stomach where it belongs.

I note with the barest amount of satisfaction that I’m in much better shape than she is. She may be thin, but her legs lack the definition of muscles. And I’m stylish in my quirky way. My dress fits me well and the bracelets Lee gave me tinkle when I move. It’s not a lot but it’s something.

I hate myself. I can’t believe I’m comparing physical traits with Lee’s ex-girlfriend. I know what a horrible person she is. I’ve seen some of the texts she’s sent him and heard the stories, and I know Lee is with me because I’m not like her. Why do I still feel so intimidated?

Maybe because… “Well, well,” Sandra croons, approaching us. Nari smiles, but I can tell the gesture is forced. Nari’s eyes don’t reflect the smile like they did earlier in the garden watching Chase run around.

“Nari, I haven’t seen you in ages.” Sandra air-kisses Nari and leans back to scan me from tip to toe. She then completely ignores me. “I think it’s been months.”

“Sorry, Sandra. I’ve been busy at work and at home.”

“Sure you have,” Sandra says with a smile, but her voice indicates the opposite. “Are Daniel and Chase here? I’d love to see them.”

“They’ve gone home already.”

Since I’m being ignored, I reach into my bag and get out my iPhone.

—-

Laura Merchant

Sandra is standing right in front of me, talking to Nari, and ignoring me.

What a bitch.

—-

I smile down at my witty repartee hoping Lee is not too swamped to pull out his phone and find my text. But he’s typing his response before I can put my iPhone away.

—-

Lee Park

She hasn’t said anything to you?

—-

Laura Merchant

Nope. I don’t even know if she knows who I am.

Wait.

—-

I look up and Sandra and Nari are now speaking in Korean, and Sandra’s mood has changed to annoyed and disgusted, her eyebrows drawn together and a deep frown in place of the fake smile. She glances from me to Nari and back to me again. I smile widely as I catch words I had memorized from the Dirty Korean book: bitch, fucking (as in sex), and geek. Really? She thinks I’m a geek. Well, I guess that’s not too bad.

—-

Laura Merchant

She’s switched to Korean and now I think she’s insulting me.

—-

Lee Park

I’ll be right there.

—-

Laura Merchant

Oh. Pshaw. Don’t bother. I don’t care what she says about me.

But heads are starting to turn.

She’s making quite a scene.

—-

I burst into a laugh, looking up to find the whole room staring at me. Sandra’s arms are crossed, Nari is mortified, her hand pressed to her lips, and I’m oblivious because I only understood three of the hundreds of words that just came streaming out of Sandra’s mouth.

Everyone is frozen, barely a breath being shared, so I shoot out and snap my finger in front of Sandra and Nari.

“Hello? What’s all the fuss? This is a funeral, not a dinner party.” My English defrosts a few people, and they turn away.

Nari clears her throat. “Sandra, this is Lee’s girlfriend, Laura. Laura, Sandra.”

“Hello.” I nod, but I do not add, “Nice to meet you,” because I’m not a liar.

“I can’t believe he finds you attractive.” She scans me again, and I repress a shudder.

“And that’s why you’re not dating him anymore.” I shrug my shoulders because, really, who fucking cares? Certainly not me.

An old Korean woman in her mid-sixties behind Sandra titters, and, when I glance at her, Lee is standing in the doorway. I drop my iPhone in my bag and turn to Nari. “I’m going to get some air with Lee. Be back in a bit.”

I purposely step around both women and walk through a path that widens in front of me. Everyone jostles aside to allow me get to my tired and grieving boyfriend. He doesn’t need this drama, and I won’t let Sandra make a big deal out of Lee’s father’s wake. I’m pleased he doesn’t even acknowledge Sandra, not a glance, not a word.

He only has eyes for me.