Face Time – Chapter 29

Laura

I’m glad I told Lee. I thought for a moment, as the horror stretched across his face, that we were over. The best, four-week relationship of my life over in the time it took me pull out the cardboard box of my discarded past and hand him my old travel journal. Lee continues to surprise me with his caring nature. Each time I think he’s going to fit a male stereotype, he turns my world upside down and shows me I’m the idiot for believing in stereotypes in the first place.

When I wake up from the nap, my head and body are both sore. Lee is already awake next to me, his phone in his hand, checking emails and texts.

“You can turn on the light. What time is it?” I slept with my contacts in, and my eyes need to adjust.

He leans over and turns on my bedside lamp, flooding my room with soft, yellow light. “It’s 4:30. Did I wake you?”

“No. My body and head hurt.”

Lee rolls towards me and brushes the hair from my face. “I don’t think it’s going to bruise. You should be fine.”

“What are you doing?”

He sighs and rolls to his back again, bringing his phone up. I slide my hand over his chest and goosebumps erupt on my arm from the contact. He smiles so I pull my body up against him.

“I’m looking at my calendar for the next month, and it’s ridiculously busy. I’m sure we’ll figure it out though.”

I kiss him on the side of his chest and close my eyes. I’ll miss him when he’s gone, and I’ll still be here packing my things and preparing to move. Where to? I’m not sure yet. I’m not sold on going back to New Orleans. It feels like a failure to go back to the place I was at my lowest.

“Do you realize how unique our relationship is? When I go to Korean class, it’s just me, Nicole, and a whole room full of Caucasian men dating Korean women.”

“I think the majority of Korean-born men would be especially intimidated by you,” he says, smiling and yawning. “But our situation is unique because I’m an American. I like strong and fiery women. Always have. Most of the foreign men who date Korean women are looking for a good housewife.”

“I’m sure they are. It’s interesting to watch these guys try to learn Korean. Both sweet and hilarious at the same time.”

“I’m glad you like class. I was wondering if you would. Korea and its culture are a lot of fun. Even I think so and I grew up with it at home. I was out of the norm growing up. All the Korean Americans I knew tried to be as American as possible, but I wanted to learn the language and the customs. I did it to make my father happy, and try to make my mother happy, but I did enjoy it.”

“I got freaked out the other day reading the news about North Korea. I worry about you over there. Do you think it’s dangerous?”

“No, Laura. Really.” I squeeze him to me, glad he’s solid, warm, and real next to me instead of an image on my iPad. “Something could happen, I suppose, but I would fly out with the rest of the Americans. I try not to think about it too much. Would it be too dangerous for you?”

“Nope.” Is this an invitation to live with him? He hasn’t mentioned it at all yet except for the one time we texted while I was stoned. He wrote, “I want you to travel the world with me.” It wasn’t actually an invitation to live with him, but he does want me by his side. “I love a little danger in my life. I just don’t like when you’re so far away. I’d rather face the danger with you.”

“Thrill-seeker.” He says it like an accusation but his eyes laugh.

“Yep. I’m a typical Sagittarius. When’s your birthday? You said October?” I reach over to the night stand and grab my iPhone, too.

“October ninth.”

I put his birthday in my calendar and open the Astrology app. “You’re a Libra. We’re well-matched. This article has you pegged.” I show him the Libra traits and he cocks his head and reads for a moment.

“My father’s birthday is three days before mine. I guess we’re both similar.”

Scrolling down through the traits, I read aloud, “You’re a problem solver. You love to keep the peace, keep things balanced. Lover of all things beautiful. That’s very you. You have the best taste. Did you know you share a birthday with John Lennon?”

“I do? I love John Lennon. He was my favorite. Your birthday is in December?” he asks, opening his calendar and swiping to the month.

“December thirteenth — close to Christmas and I hate the cold. I may be typical of my sign, but I was definitely born in the wrong hemisphere.”

I place my iPhone back on the bed stand, open the drawer and pull out a stack of photographs I keep, a few spanning the time I spent building houses in New Orleans after Katrina. Looking at a photo of me standing on the porch of a finished house, my stomach is an empty cavern much like when I lived there, but I hand it to Lee anyway so he can see. My hair was cropped short, almost entirely gone, the dreads I accumulated in Asia hacked off by my enraged father before he pushed me out the door. I’m wearing an oversized t-shirt, but it doesn’t disguise how bare bones I was, my elbows sharp points and legs matchsticks holding me up. I hope I’m never that skinny again.

“Is this you? Laura, I don’t believe it.”

“It is. From my time in New Orleans building houses. I was really good at carpentry. I can probably still frame a door.”

“Look at your hair. And you were soooo skinny.” Lee holds the photo close to his face and examines the old me, his eyes taking in every detail, and a frown forming across his lips. What does he see? “You look starving.”

“Yeah.”

I set that one aside so I don’t cry and laugh at several more in the pile: me and friends I’ve forgotten the names of, New Orleans in spring, and a self-portrait in a mirror with my steadily growing hair clipped back and Paul, my brief boyfriend, sitting on the couch behind me. This girl in these pictures is just as much me as the person I am today. We’re so different but so similar. I’m just as outgoing, as trusting, as adventurous as this girl was, but I’ve grown, and I’m happier now. I’ve learned good lessons that continue to guide me today, and therapy for years made me stronger than I’ve ever been.

“All of the time I spent in New Orleans, and this is what I brought back with me. Bad memories.”

I take the photos and set them aside with a sigh. Stretching out my arms above my head, I lengthen my body as far as it will go until I collapse again. Lee rolls towards me, his head propped up.

“I followed your advice this time in India. I did get out and see more of the city.” He traces his fingers down my arm and watches the light hair rise up in the wake of his touch.

“I loved all of the photos you sent me. It made me a little sick with wanting though. My wanderlust is at an all-time high.”

“I got a huge print of Ganesha that I hung over my dresser, and I love it. It’s colorful, just like you told me to get.” His hand follows the slight curve of my body to my hip, and he plants his palm, rubbing his thumb against the waistband of my shorts. “Ganesha is the god who removes or puts up obstacles. He guides you along your path in life.”

“I hope he removes obstacles for a while. I think we both need that.” I concentrate on the weight of his hand on my hip and curse the almost three years I went without this kind of contact.

“I was thinking the same thing. I also bought a silk mandala made from the same silk as the sari I sent you. I’m going to hang it in the dining area.”

“Did you get anything else?” I love lying next to Lee and talking. It’s just like when we were dating via FaceTime, enjoyable and easy.

“Yeah, a brass elephant. I stood it amongst my potted plants along the floor. You’re supposed to point the trunk towards a window. I think it beckons in good luck? I’m not sure.”

“I can’t wait to see what you’ve done to your apartment. When you’re back in Seoul, you have to show me on FaceTime again.”

His eyebrows draw together for a moment in confusion, he pulls his hand away, and my heart seizes up. Was this a one time thing? He loves me but doesn’t plan on talking to me again?

“Unless you don’t want to talk via FaceTime anymore? I kind of thought we were together, no? Am I not understanding this?”

He stares at me blankly, and my insides grow cold. “I.. I… uh,” Lee stutters, looking down and blinking his eyes.

“Shit, Lee. What the hell happened between now and like two hours ago when you told me you loved me?” I sit up on the bed, angry at him and myself. How could I have read this wrong? “Um, I should keep packing. You’re only here for another day or two, right? I need to be out by Monday. My mom said she’d sell the place this summer but I want to be gone by the time she comes back.” I throw the covers off and get up.

“Wait. Stop.” He lunges forward and grabs my arm. “How much Korean do you really know?”

A puff of frustration exits my lungs as I try to pull away from his grip. “For fuck’s sake, I know the barest minimum.”

Laughing, he releases my arm and comes around the bed to me. “No wonder. You’re coming to live with me. Don’t even think about moving to New Orleans or I’ll be crushed.”

“What? This is the first I’m hearing of this.”

“Because I’m dumb and said it in Korean. My brain is truly bilingual. You asked me to speak to you in Korean, but I remember it in English.” He sighs and takes my face in his hands. “You understood the ‘I love you’ and didn’t hear all the other things I said before that. I want you to live with me. Travel the world with me. Let’s make a life together and see where it takes us.”

“Are you sure?” My voice is unsteady, and my brain is disbelieving. This is the first time a man has ever been so forward and forthright about what he wanted from me. Even Rene never got this far.

“I’m positive. Let’s spend time together, lots of time. Together. Not separated by seven thousand miles and two devices we use to talk to each other. That’s frustrating on so many levels. I don’t want to do that again.”

I throw my arms around his neck and hug him tight to me. “I’d love that. Love it. It’s been ages since I traveled, and I want to get on a plane and just be gone. With you. I even renewed my passport last year in the hopes I could travel again.” I pull back away from him. “There’s only one problem. I don’t have a ton of money in the bank. I may have enough to last me a little while, but I won’t be able to afford all the extras.”

He smirks at me. “How much money do you have?”

“Thirty-six thousand dollars? Like I said, it’s a lot but then not really if I’m going to be traveling with you.”

“Sit down, Laura.” He points to the end of the bed, and he sits next to me. “I have…” He thinks for a moment. “I have more than ten times what you have in the bank, in savings, and that doesn’t count what I have in stocks, bonds…” He waves his hand in a circle and rolls his eyes. Shit. I have landed myself a wealthy boyfriend, and I didn’t know it. “I want you to keep your money unless you really need to spend it. You have no idea how well my firm pays me.”

“No, I don’t think I do. Did you pay off your student loans?”

He nods at me, and I pull back, inhaling sharply. Berkeley law school was not cheap. “That’s amazing, Lee, but I would feel weird about taking your money. I’m an independent woman. All of that sugar daddy talk was just for fun.”

Lee takes both of my hands in his. “Please don’t feel weird about it. There’s nothing I would rather spend my money on than having you with me.” He is literally begging me, and I have a moment where I think about my mother. She never worked a day in her life. She was a housewife and spent my father’s money, and now she’s met a new husband and will spend his money too. I can’t be like her the rest of my life.

“Okay. On one condition.”

“What is it? Give it to me straight.” His mouth twists, and I want to slap him for being all sarcastic when I want to be serious.

“That I get a job in Seoul. I can travel with you eighty percent of the time, but I need to do my own thing.”

He smiles. “Sure. I’ll help you out as best I can. Get a job teaching English. Or become a private personal trainer. Or get your certificate in yoga instruction. I can think of a million things you could do…” His voice wanders off and he smiles again. “I just had the best idea, but it’ll have to wait.”

“What?” I ask, intrigued by his sudden change.

“Nope. It’ll be a surprise.” He stands and pulls me up. “Now, let’s shower and go out to dinner.”

“Shower together?” I ask, hopefully. I step towards him and tug on his shirt.

“Mmmm. You’re full of good ideas today.”