Face Time – Chapter 25

Laura

“I can’t believe I broke up with Lee! Why would I do such a thing?” I wail into my hands at Theresa’s apartment. After I puked my guts out and cried in bed for an hour, I cleaned myself up, called Theresa, and ended up on her couch. Mike is in the kitchen pouring me a glass of seltzer.

“I don’t think you broke up with him, sweetie. You freaked out on him and hung up the phone.” Theresa’s hand is warm and comforting on my back, rubbing in circles. Mike appears in front of me, a glass of bubbling water in hand, and I take it gratefully. He yawns, his wavy, unruly hair standing straight out from his head. He just got off a shift at the restaurant, and I invaded his home.

“I’m going to get ready for bed since this is girl stuff.”

Theresa smirks at him, and he shuffles off to their bedroom.

“Laura, it’ll be okay. Why didn’t you tell him? I think he would have understood.”

“I wanted to see him so badly,” I moan, clutching my hand to my aching chest. My heart is hollow. “But I couldn’t bear the thought of him coming all the way here, telling him, and having him turn around and leave. I remember the way Rene turned on me and left, and I couldn’t do it. I just… I saw my life from someone else’s perspective for once and thought about what a complete fuck up I am. I can’t do anything right.”

“That’s not true,” she says, squeezing my shoulders. “You are the most independent, kind, thoughtful, funny, adventurous person I know. When things were bad for you, you were always smart enough to trust the right people and get back up again. Most people in your situation would have died, you know that?”

I shake my head. “I got myself into that situation. It hardly seems noble I got myself back out again.”

Theresa’s eyes widen, her mouth dropping open. “Are you kidding me? Your family should have helped you, stood by you, but they abandoned you.”

I shrug my shoulders at her. “I couldn’t expect them to do much for me.”

“That’s bullshit. You should never have gone to New Orleans. I worried about you for five years. Five years of silence, Laura, and every time I went to church, I prayed you weren’t dead.” I avert my gaze from her watery green eyes. I had no access to a phone or computer for years, yet I still feel guilty for not staying in touch. “Your mother and father should have taken you in and cared for you. Look, I’ve never judged them or you, but that whole situation is the stuff of nightmares. If I ever do that to my own children, may God strike me down. It’s one thing to expect your kids to be independent and it’s another to leave them to die.”

A fresh wave of tears falls from my eyes. I did almost die and there was no one to help me but myself. Theresa passes me a box of tissues. I never looked at my life from her perspective, but, unfortunately, it’s as bad as my own view. I’m just less at fault. Still, it’s all completely fucked up.

“You…” She pokes me in the arm with her index finger. “…are brave. You went into this relationship with Lee knowing full well you may not see him for some time. Yet, you still did it because you followed your heart. Most people would have moved on. Not you. And Lee is the right kind of guy for you, I know it. What did he text you after you freaked out on him?”

I take a moment to absorb what Theresa has said about me while I wipe my face. I don’t feel brave right now. I’m a coward for running away from Lee. I pick up my phone and look at his messages. “Please talk to me. I promise I’ll listen. I’ve missed you so much. Just text me back when you’re ready to talk.” I show the phone to her and she nods.

“See? Most asshole guys would have said something like, ‘What the fuck is your problem?’ or whatever. He’s concerned about you. Text him back. Now.” She points to my phone and stares me down, hard. Eek. I can do nothing but obey. Her kindergarten students must all be scared to defy her.

—-

Laura Merchant

I’m sorry I freaked out on you. I hope you’ll talk to me again.

—-

I hit send and the bubble hangs on the screen. I stare at the progress bar but nothing happens. After several gulps of seltzer, I check my phone again and the text is green indicating it sent as a text message instead of an iMessage. This has happened only twice in the past month Lee and I have been dating. He never turns off his phone because he has clients all over the world and he wants to be available for them or his family. But when he travels, he can’t always be reached. What does this mean? Did I freak him out enough for him to go back to work? He said his next client trip was to Tokyo, but he pushed it back so he could come see me. “Don’t come. Don’t call me. Get on with your life,” rings through my head. I was so final about it. Maybe he took me at my word?

“It sent as a text message. I have no idea why.” I throw the phone onto the couch behind me and sit forward to cry again. “What the fuck is wrong with me? I’m tired, broken, and I have major trust issues. Lee could see through all of that. He’s probably already moved on.”

“This is nonsense.” Theresa stands up, slowly straightening her legs and leaning back as her belly comes up first. Damn, she’s big. She’s due in four weeks now. “It’s past ten o’clock.” She grabs a blanket from the chair across from us. “Sleep here on the couch, and when you wake up tomorrow morning, I want you to go home, pack a bag, and get on a flight to Seoul. Your fucking waste of a mother is gone. You know, I always thought she was selfish for the way she turned into herself and ignored you for years, but I was willing to give her a break because of the nervous breakdown. Now I honestly think she faked it, faked it all, to get attention from your dad and from you. Bet she’s a narcissist.”

Theresa rummages in her linen closet, but I’m glued to the couch. Really? Did my own mother take advantage of me my whole life? Every past event of my existence runs through my head like the trailer of a horror film. All of my mother’s nervous breakdowns came at the most opportune times, and she always recovered from them so quickly. Did she fool me, Dad, and all her therapists?

I don’t think she fooled Theresa.

I jump up from the couch and tackle my best friend with a hug. “I love you. Don’t ever change. You’re always right about everything.”

I pull away, and she hands me a toothbrush still in its clear plastic packaging. “Here. I save the ones from all our dentist visits. Brush your teeth and go to bed. And I’m serious about going to Seoul. Just get on a plane and go. You have weeks worth of vacation you’ve never taken. I’m sure work will be able to cover for you.”

“What do I do when I get there?”

“You get on the phone, call Lee, and tell him to pick you up at the airport.”

“What if he doesn’t answer?” I ask, my voice soft and hesitant. “What if I’ve screwed this up for good?”

“Then you take a vacation by yourself. You check out the country, come home, and I’ll help you figure the rest out.”