Face Time – Chapter 19

Laura

I had my new camera in my hands on Tuesday and brought it with me to Korean class to show Nicole. I love Korean class. Even though Lee isn’t with me, it feels like he is, and I’m getting the hang of listening to Korean and hearing the patterns within the speech. I’ve only been to two classes so far, so I’m not an immediate master or anything, but learning other languages has always come easy to me. My Spanish is passable from all the years I spent in kitchens bumping elbows with waitstaff. Maybe with some time living in Korea, I’ll learn the language.

I invite Nicole to come over on Friday for dinner and drinks. I have no idea if my mother will be around, but I don’t care. I’m going to enjoy what’s left of my New York City life while I have it.

When I open the gifts from Lee on Wednesday night after yoga, I nearly die of joy. I love the dark, royal blue sari. I lift the fabric to the light and the weave shimmers luxuriously. The beading is so perfect, the sewing must have been done by hand. Gorgeous. I’m not sure where I’ll wear it, but knowing I own one makes me happy. I can’t believe Lee sent me gold bangles. I was just admiring Nicole’s. I slip them over my hand, and they fall down my forearm, clicking against each other like bells. I never want to take them off. Then I laugh out loud at the magic wand and its series of attachments. Thanks, Lee.

Setting up my iPad to talk to him, I pull the battery for my new camera off the charger and insert the larger SD card in, format it, and set up all the options before he rings me.

“Hey, beautiful…” Lee’s face pops up in front of me when I accept the call, but we’re instantly disconnected.

“Nooooooo,” I wail at my iPad. We haven’t FaceTimed in almost a week! I keep trying to call him back but the system says he’s unavailable. We connect once more but can’t say anything to each other. Again and again, nothing. Fuck.

His texts pop up immediately after we’re disconnected for the fourth time. I don’t know how he makes me so happy and needy all at the same time, but even a few texts from him put a smile on my face and make me want more. I want more of him. This is not enough.

This time I’m going to do things right. I am way into Lee. I think I’m in love with him already. He wants me. I want him. I just need to wait for the right moment to be honest with him. I’ll tell him and hopefully he’ll be into me enough to understand that my past is in the past even if it still haunts me to this day.

—-

Lee Park

I want you to tell me everything.

—-

I’m going to tell him everything but first I’m going to win him over completely. The sexy photos are first on my list. I shouldn’t use my own body to curry favor but I’m pulling no punches. Whatever it takes.

—-

Laura Merchant

I will :) Ok, I’m off to test the merchandise.

Xoxo

—-

Lee Park

Think of me, gorgeous. Xoxo

—-

He must know by now he’s the only one I think of.

I gather up all the candles in the house and bring them to my room. I line them up on my dresser, light them, and change into my new sexy underwear, a black lace bra that doesn’t leave much to the imagination and tiny black underwear. I get my robe on and clean up in the bathroom, brushing out my hair, and reapply my makeup with a dramatic, black liquid liner cat-eye and a new coral lip gloss I picked up last week.

Back in the bedroom, I make my bed and remove clutter from around it. In the closet, with my ancient film camera, is my old tripod so I set it up at the foot of the bed and get going. The candles all on one side make for dramatic and sexy lighting. I have to open up the aperture all the way and hold my poses as still as possible. I take a few fun shots of me laying on my stomach, legs bent at the knee, and my ankles crossed, then I raise the tripod high and angle the camera down. I’m constantly up and down off my bed setting the self-timer that, after thirty shots, I’m laughing hysterically at my situation. When did I become this woman? I never thought I’d have virtual sex or send my boyfriend boudoir photos. But it’s so fun, not seedy at all. It’s empowering. I’m happy with myself and this body, and why shouldn’t I show it off to Lee?

After an hour, I have enough photos to edit into a sizable group. I get dressed, and, once all the candles are out, I open my computer, download all the images, and pick out ten to edit, crop, and adjust. What should I do with all of these? There are some of me laying on the bed and one of me on all fours, head cocked with a smile towards the camera. I like the arms-length shots of just my face and cleavage, too, and I took a few of my backside, careful that my tattoo is covered by my hair, my face in profile looking over my shoulder. I’m not ready to talk with Lee about my tattoo and what it means to me. The collection is a good mix of poses, and I’m sure he will be able to see how happy I am. Do I get them printed and send them? Is that embarrassing? What would I say when I pick them up from the printer?

I burst into a laugh imagining the Orthodox Jewish men at Adorama printing up my photos and handing them over to me. Oh my god, I have to do it. It’ll be hilarious. I can’t wait to tell Justin. He’ll die. But then that gives me another idea too. I plug my iPhone into my computer and download all the photos Lee sent me of India. “To Laura. From Lee.” I’ll get these printed up too, frame them, and send them to him. I want him to look at these photos and remember his travels and how he shared them with me.

It’s midnight before I’m done sending all my files over to Adorama. I purchase a book of the boudoir photos and prints of India, and I can pick them all up on Monday.

Now, before I fall off to sleep, it’s time to see what the wand can really do.