Chaos in Kadoma Ward – Chapter 24

The bass of the music vibrates through the street, a thump-thump-thump echoing up my legs to my chest. I didn’t know where we were going, but I had my suspicions. Shintaro mentioned clubs and Rin said we’d get drunk. As I dug through my meager stash of clothes, I despaired over my choices. I don’t have much in the way of trendy “going out” clothes, but I ended up with tight black pants and one of Atsumi’s black tank tops.

Black is always in, right?

I guess so since Rin chose all black as well. But it’s not all that different from what he wears every day. Maybe the shirt is tighter.

I glance over at him as we approach the warehouse on the outskirts of Kita Ward. We took the butsu and two trains to get to Club Seiun, so I hope I don’t lose Rin tonight. Otherwise, I have no idea how I’ll find my way back without my tablet. Tablets don’t really go with the pants. Rin’s black shirt hugs his muscles, revealing all that I’ve tried to ignore when he’s been shirtless. ‘Rin is a fine piece of ass,’ comes flying back into my brain. He does have a nice ass. It curves just so, and there’s enough for me to hold onto —

“Yumi, keep up,” Rin says, slowing back down and taking my hand. I had fallen into an ass-staring trance. “You’re cold?”

“Mmm-hmm.” And my teeth chatter to prove it. “I have a feeling I won’t be for long, though.” I let him pull me closer to the pulsating club, past the lengthy queue of well-dressed and flashy people lining the block outside. No animals, though. Either these people are lower caste, or they left the animals at home. Wouldn’t want them stepped on here tonight.

Rin bypasses the line, heading straight for a trio of people guarding the front door. Nerves jostle my belly while I wonder what I’m in for tonight. I haven’t been to a club in ages, and I’m already feeling vulnerable from dinner. But locking myself in the bedroom was out of the question.

“Rin!” A double-wide man with a mohawk opens his arms and calls to us. Rin smiles as he glides in for one of those manly two-pat hugs and a handshake. “I got your message earlier!” he shouts over the music rolling out of the door. “Been ages, man. How are you?”

“Busy. Work has been… hectic.”

The guy raises one eyebrow at Rin. “You act like you’re not on the news every fucking day. I have trouble keeping those fukusha out of my club, so I can only imagine what they’re like on the streets.”

My ears prick up, hearing this man use fukusha as a slang term instead of a model name like Aoi Uma does. It means copy or duplicate, normally.

“Persistent is what I would say.”

“No doubt.” The guy leans to the side, trying to get a peek at me. I panic, hoping I look okay. I took my overgrown hair and twisted it into a high, braided bun for the evening. Then I employed every last bit of makeup I own. All five items. At least my lips and cheeks are colorful. “What do we have here?”

“This is my girl, Yumi,” Rin says, grasping my hand.

I’m speechless. It came out of his mouth so unforced and natural. His girl. Damn, I kinda like that, as much as I hate the whole concept of being owned by another person.

Ugh. I am owned by Rin. I have no control over my life at all, do I?

“Hi.” I wave at him as he smiles and nods. I bow slightly, a little dip forward. I don’t want to be rude.

“Hello, gorgeous. I’m Rikki.”

“Rikki, it’s good to meet you.” I try not to give away that the compliment confuses me. He’s one of the first to say anything even remotely nice to me about how I look.

Glancing back at the people behind us in line, though, I’m struck by how average everyone appears under their flashy dresses, light-up white fake fur collars, and extravagant shoes.

These are not samurai class people. They aren’t saving up for the latest popular plastic surgery, fancy apartments, or designer animals. They’re spending their money on the hottest clothes and admission to the trendiest clubs they can find.

Rikki and Rin have a low conversation, and the door opens, body-heated air, rich with perfume, sweat, and alcohol washes over us. The two guys share a handshake again, and then I’m guided through into the dark with Rin’s hand on my waist.

“We have our own spot, so follow me,” Rin shouts in my ear. The music is deafening, vibrating my chest with every beat, but I can’t see the dance floor from where we are. We’ve entered into a lounge area, tables scattered, people crowded around. A couple makes out in a corner booth, projections of stars and nebulas floating over their heads.

I’m walking through a seductive cosmos, trying not to stare.

“The dance floor is here.” Rin is at my ear as we push through a heavy velvet curtain.

The dance floor is about a meter and a half sunken below. Hundreds, maybe more than a thousand people, writhe like seaweed in a churning sea. A DJ floats on a platform above, his flying carpet a mass of stars and light.

My mouth gapes open as Rin takes my hand and leads me through a crowd waving glowing lights and screaming at those below, hanging over the railing, drinks sloshing into an imperceptible field that keeps the liquid from spilling on the dancers below. The walk to the end of this dance floor goes on and on, and though I weave in and out of people, Rin’s hand doesn’t leave mine.

“Here we are.” We approach a bar that stretches out over the dance floor, packed with couples drinking and talking. Waving his wrist over the tablet of the man guarding the area, Rin exchanges a handshake and smiles with the guy, like he knows everyone here. Two spots at the bar are cleared away for us, and we slide into seats perched high above those dancing below us. Under my feet, the floor is transparent, and I can look down on the people below me.

Rin taps into a display in front of us, first lowering the volume of the dance club around our spot to a tolerable level.

“There. Now we don’t have to shout,” he says, smiling at me and my wide eyes. “It’s a dampening field. All the bar seats and tables have them. No one can hear us either.”

I turn and look over my shoulder at the dance floor, letting my knees rub up against Rin’s thigh. He rests his hand on my leg, and I have to stop my knee from bouncing.

This whole evening, my whole life is out of control. I feel helpless like I have no say in anything and my life is not my own. Don’t get me wrong. I’m totally hot for Rin now. Something about the way he spoke to my brother earlier both pissed me off and turned me on. But I can’t have him whipping me out and using me when he needs it.

I immediately come up with a plan. I can’t have this. I can’t be a pawn. So I’ll have a drink with Rin, I’ll tell him this will never work between us, and I’ll move in with Kazuo as early as tomorrow. It won’t be easy to say no. I remember what that kiss did to me, I look at Rin and want to be with him, and I think we could be good together. But not this way.

“This place is massive,” I say, starting off with small talk.

“It used to be a manufacturing plant for android parts until Aoi Uma moved all their factories south. My friend got the place for a steal.”

“Rikki?”

“Yeah,” he says, turning to the bar display again. “He’s a fellow orphanage graduate. When I was working at K&G, he was making friends with DJs, visiting clubs, and promoting. Moved himself up to daimyō caste in no time. Want something strong to drink?”

“Absolutely.”

I watch as the DJ platform slowly floats overhead and makes its way down the length of the club, trailing stars in its wake. The whole club theme of nebulas, seiun in Japanese, transfixes me like my tōsha at Rin’s.

I came across the stars to be here. My throat constricts with emotion. Wasn’t Rin talking of fate earlier today?

“This place is amazing.” I smile at him, setting my chin on my hand. “So, why did you bring me here?”

“Here? Or out in general?”

“Here.”

“Tonight, we’re going to drink and dance until we can’t do either anymore. I figured you deserved a fun night out. How many nights now have you gone to sleep while waiting up for me?”

I glance over his shoulder, avoiding his eyes. “I haven’t.”

He touches my chin, directing my eyes back. “I can always tell when you’re lying. Always. I don’t know why you even try it.”

I slap his hand away. “To fucking protect myself. Isn’t it obvious?”

He stills, his face an angry slab of stone.

A woman slips into our shielded space at the bar and sets down two drinks. Rin chose whiskey on the rocks for himself, and I have some kind of fruity pink drink.

“What the fuck is this?” I ask, waving at the drink.

He laughs, even though a moment before he was steely-eyed and quiet. “You wanted something strong. Rum punch. Go ahead and try it.”

I take one sip and nearly fall out of my chair. Perfect.

“Whoa. Okay. Good choice.” I take a long pull through the straw draining a third of the glass straight into my stomach. That ought to kick in soon.

Rin turns to his drink, staring quietly away from me. I’m being given the silent treatment while he figures out what to do next. We don’t talk for a long few minutes, just sip our drinks, watching the dancers.

Yumi, why are you such a bitch?

Also to protect myself. Sigh. This has gone horribly wrong. Again. And it will keep going wrong if I continue to do this.

Time to explain and open up. I don’t want to, but I live with this man, and I can’t avoid him forever. Maybe this will seal the deal, and I can leave to go live with Kazuo.

“I’m protecting myself from being hurt again. It’s what I do best next to being a journalist.” I don’t look at him. I watch a woman in the crowd run her hands all over the man she’s dancing with, up his chest, down over his ass. “Men only want me because they want something from me. They want to get on my father’s good side, or they want to brag to their buddies or whatever. They want out of their current situation and I’m the ticket they can use to get there.” I cringe remembering Rin’s confession earlier that he wants to go to Orihimé. I’m pretty sure he didn’t mean to use me, though it looks that way from the outside. “I build up walls around me, so people don’t get too close. You” — I point my finger at him — “are too close. You want things from me I’m not sure I can give.”

“What’s that?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Love that’ll go unreturned. Sex that’ll be meaningless. My attention that you’ll squander. Happens every time. And you haven’t exactly been forthright and honest with me. You’re full of mixed signals.”

I look over at his sad and pitying eyes, and I cringe again.

“I know you think you’ll be different,” I continue. “I want you to be different. But you practically own me, and I have no freedom here. And that right there changes the entire dynamic between us. How can I know in my heart that you like me for me, and not because of this manufactured situation we’re in?”

Rin drops his forehead onto the bar.

“See? It’s not that complicated.”

The rum saturates my blood and hits me like an express train. Suddenly, I see why this dynamic has been so hard for us.

“Maybe if we had met under different circumstances, this would’ve been easier. But we didn’t. You hold my life in your hands, and I fear that power, to control me, is stronger than any kind of… positive feelings we could share.” I sip again, being careful not to drink too fast. “For example, so, I’m your girl now?”

“I wish I never said that —”

“That’s what I thought.”

“— Without asking your permission first.”

Tingles wash over me, coating my head.

“I get it now.” He drains the rest of his whiskey and signals for another. “I’m so stupid to not have seen this from the beginning. You told me how you felt, and I didn’t really internalize it until now. You have no control over anything. No control over your life and how you live it, and I’ve been acting like this is a regular relationship, when it’s not. That cat-and-mouse game, the passes and flirting I do, won’t work here.”

Hmmm, this is a change I wasn’t prepared for. Most men would say fuck this and walk away. That I’m too difficult and they want someone easier. Who could really blame them? I couldn’t.

“What if we flip this situation on its head?” He takes his drink from the bartender. She’s fast. “Yumi Minamoto, I’m really into you.”

The tingles continue down my shoulders to raise the hair on my arms as he turns to face me.

“I love how determined you are, that you know what you want and won’t stop until you get it. I love your hair and your smile, the way you walk around my apartment in the morning like the place belongs to you. I even love it when you curse. You make me laugh, and I think about you all the time.”

My face is growing warm, and it’s not just from the alcohol.

“I want to eat and drink with you, talk with you, dance with you. I want to take you home and lay you down in my bed.”

“Stop,” I croak out, holding up my hand. If I hear any more, I’m going to faint. I fan myself with my hand and take a deep breath. Rin’s face deepens with a smile.

“Now you know how I feel. I couldn’t be less interested in your brother or anyone else. I’m not interested in your family and the favors they could provide. And I wouldn’t go to Orihimé without you.” He sips his whiskey. “You can take that knowledge and stomp on it if you like. You can reject me or walk away. Or you can take me, and you can own me.”

I blink back the surprise. Turn this situation on its head is right. I’m in charge? Hmmm, this changes things drastically.

“What say you, Miss Minamoto? I thought the kiss was loud and clear, but I think this is better.”

I bite my lip as I assess him, his relaxed posture, his warm eyes, his confidence. Although I could turn him down, he came right on out and said everything. No more making me guess, no games, no ambiguity.

I can have what I want, take what’s mine. It’s my decision now, not his.

He’s not playing me.

I draw out the silence, picking up my glass, wrapping my lips around the straw and sucking down the last of the drink that’ll fry my brain it’s so strong.

I want to dance.

“Is this spot ours for the rest of the night?” I ask, pushing my emptied glass to the side and patting my hair.

“It can be.”

“Great. Make it happen.” I hop off my chair as Rin taps on the display and waves his wrist over it, locking our spot for us. “Time to hit the dance floor.”

We leave our dampening field, and the music slams into me, a wall of sound so vibrant and dense, I stumble and grab for Rin’s hands. I take them both, tugging him behind me, past the gatekeeper, down the stairs and into the sea of gyrating bodies.

With the music this loud, my brain shuts down and lets my heart and instincts take over. I draw the beat into my legs and arms, stretching my limbs out and moving them to the rhythm. Rin rests his hands on my hips, and I turn into him, using the crowd to move closer to him. I had wanted to put my hands on him, and now I let my fingers guide me along his shoulders, down over his arms, and even closer, to press my pelvis against his and rock to the beat.

The crowd whistles as the DJ comes flying back over us, and we raise our faces to watch the starry night projection overhead. Orihimé and Hikoboshi were lovers separated by the Milky Way. They were banished to their respective sides, forever in love and almost always apart.

I can bring them back together.

I reach up and pull Rin’s face down to mine, staring into his eyes and gauging his mood. He definitely wants me, and damn, I want him too. It’s not what I intended, but it’s what happened, anyway.

Leaning in and bringing my chest up to his, I linger over his lips as our bodies sway in time to the drum and bass. With a breath inhaled, the stars explode between us and I kiss him like I’ve wanted to for days, maybe longer. The dance floor dissolves away, and all that’s left behind is this sparking connection.

I think I need a new plan.