An Unforgiving Desert – Chapter 2

Yeah, my childhood on the Mikasa was a misnomer. I never had a childhood. I had job from the moment I was born. And if I didn’t do my job, I was screwed.

I was sixteen. The constant hum of the engines vibrated through the metal walls, a never-ending reminder that we were hurtling through space, far from any planet or station. I knew the sounds of The Mikasa, the ship of my childhood, so well. Even when I was asleep, the ship would talk to me, tell me about its aching joints and overworked air filtration systems.

But that particular day, I hunched over my datapad, trying to focus on the complex equations scrolling across the screen. My tiny bedroom felt even more cramped than usual, with my younger siblings, Cameron and Nolan, playing not but a meter away. Cameron zoomed around like a superhero. Nolan, meanwhile, toddled like a drunken old man.

“Guys! Keep it down,” I hissed, not wanting to draw attention from the adults. “I’m trying to study.”

Cameron, all of six years old, stuck his tongue out at me. “You’re always studying, Sky. It’s boring.”

I pressed my lips together as I bit back a sharp retort. It wasn’t their fault that I had to cram years of education into my head as fast as possible. Instead, I forced a smile. “I know. But this is important. How about you two play a quiet game for a bit?”

He looked up at me with wide eyes. “Can we play spaceship captain?”

Before I could answer, the door to my quarters slid open with a hiss. Dominic strode in, his face set in its usual stern expression. “What’s all this noise about?”

My mother’s third consort, he’d been a thorn in my side since the day he joined our family network. His eyes landed on me, and a smirk spread across his face.

My muscles tensed, and I braced for impact. Shit.

I straightened up. Show no fear, Skylar.

“Nothing. I was just —”

“You were just failing to keep your siblings in line as usual,” he cut me off, his voice sharp. “Skylar, how many times do I have to remind you of your responsibilities? You’re the first-born daughter. The future of this family and our business rests on your shoulders.”

What a fucking asshole. As if he didn’t remind me every minute of every day.

How about you help out, you lazy son of a bitch.

I swallowed hard, pushing down the familiar surge of resentment. I would’ve loved to jump from the bed and throttle him.

“Yes, Dom. I’m sorry. I’ll do better.”

I knew my voice wasn’t conciliatory enough, but he didn’t seem to notice.

“See that you do. And clean up this mess. It looks like a meteor hit in here.”

He swept his gaze around the room, taking in the scattered toys and my open textbooks.

“For fuck’s sake. Why do you even bother studying?” he drawled, his tone dripping with sarcasm. “Tell me, Skylar, have you managed to learn anything useful today? Or are you still pretending to be smarter than the rest of us?”

I clenched my jaw, willing myself not to rise to the bait. “I’m studying advanced propulsion theory, Dominic. Not that you would know anything about that.”

He waved a dismissive hand. “Spare me the details. Make sure dinner is ready in an hour. And for heaven’s sake, do something with your hair. You look like you’ve been through an airlock.”

The door slid shut behind him, and I let out a long, slow breath. Cameron and Nolan stopped in their tracks, their initial excitement waning with the adults around.

“It’s okay, guys,” I said, forcing cheer into my voice. “How about that game of spaceship captain?”

Cameron looked skeptical. “But what about your studying? And dinner?”

I picked up Nolan and set him on my hip. He pulled at my hair, but I didn’t care. After all, it did look terrible, and I knew it. I had been cutting it myself for years.

I ruffled his hair, ignoring the twinge of guilt. “Sometimes, being a good captain means taking care of your crew first. Come on, I’ll show you a new trick I learned for making the perfect asteroid field.”

As I gathered cushions and blankets to create our makeshift spaceship bridge, my mind raced. I’d have to stay up late again to finish my studies, but keeping the kids happy and quiet was worth it. Ana and Jukia were probably spending time together, and I wasn’t going to bother them for help. This was on me. I might be trapped on this ship, under the weight of impossible expectations, but I’d be damned if I let Cam and Nolan feel the same pressure.

“Okay, crew,” I announced, settling into the ‘captain’s chair’ (really just a repurposed storage crate). “We’ve got a dangerous mission ahead. Are you ready?”

“Aye, aye, Captain!” Cam said, giggling. Nolan smacked his hands on the pillows.

For the next half hour, we navigated treacherous space lanes, battled imaginary pirates, and made daring escapes from black holes. I wove in bits of real astronomy and physics, hoping some of it might stick. Who knew? Maybe one day it would help them pass their own exams.

As our adventure wound down, I noticed Cam growing quieter, his usual enthusiasm dimming. “What’s wrong?” I asked, rubbing Nolan’s back. He had decided that the pillow was a great place to nap.

Cam sat next to me, his small body tense. “Sky,” he whispered, “do we have to stay on the ship forever?”

My heart clenched. I wrapped my arms around him, wishing I could shield him from the reality of our lives. “No, Cameron. You don’t have to stay here forever. You get whatever you want.”

“But Dominic says we have to stay and learn the business. He says it’s our duty.”

I bit back a curse. Of course.

“No, sweetie. It’s my duty. Not yours.” I sighed. “He was only talking about me.”

“Really?” he asked, hope creeping into his voice.

There were moments when I hated this. Why was I his caretaker? Didn’t I have enough to do already? And here he was, happy, relieved to learn that he wouldn’t have to do my work. Resentment curled in my belly, but I ignored it.

“Really,” I affirmed. “But for now, you need to be smart and learn everything you can. That’s how you’ll be ready when your chance comes to get off this ship. Okay?”

He nodded, and the resentment turned to protectiveness. No one was going to take away Cameron’s and Nolan’s future if I could help it. Someday, I could take over this whole mess, make the decisions I wanted to make, leave all of Mom’s husbands and consorts far behind. I smiled at the vision of dumping them on a planet and then flying away.

Sweet, sweet revenge.

I stood up and draped sleepy Nolan on my chest and shoulder. Time to drop him off in his crib.

“All right,” I said, opening the door. “New mission: Operation Dinner Prep, and you’re my sous chef.”

As we bustled around the galley, I ran another round of mental calculations. If I skipped sleep tonight, I could finish my propulsion theory module and start on the advanced navigation course. Maybe if I proved I could handle it, Mom would ease up on my work load. And if I could just avoid Dominic for a few days…

The door slid open again, and I tensed, expecting another round of criticism. But it was just my older brother, Raphael.

“Something smells good in here,” he said, sniffing appreciatively. “It’s a good thing you got off your ass and cooked. I’m starving.” He grabbed a bruised banana from the shelf and started to peel it. Damn. I was hoping the bananas would ripen enough so I could make banana bread.

“As if you haven’t been sitting on your ass all day?” I raised my eyebrows. My older brothers were just as bad as Dom most days. They all saw me as the servant, the housekeeper, and the babysitter all rolled into one.

He got the hint and changed the subject, regaling the kids with exaggerated tales of his last trip to Ossun. I was grateful for the distraction, even as a part of me envied his freedom. I wasn’t allowed off the ship the last time we landed there. I didn’t even get to see Vivian.

As I stirred the pot of protein printed stew (the best we could manage with our dwindling supplies), I allowed myself a moment of daydreaming. The usual. Someday, I’d have my own ship. Not a family vessel weighed down by generations of expectations, but something sleek and fast. I’d chart my own course through the stars, answering to no one but myself.

The fantasy was interrupted by the chime of the ship’s intercom. “Skylar to the bridge,” my mother’s voice crackled through the speaker. “Immediately.”

Fuck. What now?

I sighed, wiping my hands on a towel. “Raph, can you watch the stew? It needs another ten minutes.”

He grimaced but nodded. “Sure thing. But you owe me.”

The entitlement of my older brothers used to drive me nuts. Now it was just expected.

I squared my shoulders and headed for the bridge, my mind racing. What could Mom want? Had Dominic said something to her? As I walked through the narrow corridors, I rehearsed potential responses, determined to keep my cool no matter what.

The bridge door slid open, and I stepped inside, immediately struck by the vast expanse of stars visible through the forward viewport. No matter how many times I saw it, the view never failed to take my breath away.

“Skylar,” my mother’s voice snapped me back to reality. “Come here.”

I approached her command chair, noticing Dominic lurking in the background, a smug smile on his face. Great.

“Yes, Mom?”

She fixed me with a stern gaze. “I’ve been reviewing your latest test scores. While they’re… adequate, I expected better from you. Especially given how much time you spend with your nose buried in those books.”

I bit the inside of my cheek. Adequate? I’d aced every single exam.

“Was all A’s not enough?”

Oops. I should have kept my mouth shut.

She sighed and pressed a hand to her forehead. “All A’s? More like failing, Skylar.”

I glanced at Dom and he held my eyes, daring me to say anything.

Hey, I got full marks on every test. I saw the results myself.

I leaned forward to look at Mom’s datapad, and shit. The test scores she saw were much lower. Had I really failed? What about the results that were in my inbox? Were they wrong?

Dom’s smile was small, his eyes glinting with a hint of evil.

He was altering my scores just for Mom. But I knew better than to argue.

I couldn’t argue. I would have to protect myself.

“I’ll work harder, Mom. I promise.”

“See that you do,” she said, her tone clipped. “Now, I have a task for you. We’re approaching Laguna, and I need you to run the preliminary scans for potential trade opportunities.”

My heart leapt. This was actual, practical work — a chance to prove myself. “Of course. I’d be happy to.”

“Don’t sound so excited,” Dominic cut in, his voice dripping with disdain. “It’s grunt work, not some grand adventure.”

I ignored him, focusing on my mother. “When do you need the report?”

“By 0600 tomorrow. And I expect it to be thorough. This could be a significant opportunity for us.”

I nodded, already calculating how I could fit this in with my studies and other chores. Sleep was definitely off the table tonight.

“One more thing,” my mother added as I turned to leave. “I’ve decided it’s time for you to start sitting in on our business meetings. You need to learn how things really work, not just what’s in those textbooks.”

Surprise and a hint of pride warred with dread in my chest. On one hand, this was a sign of trust, a step towards the responsibility I’d been preparing for. On the other, it meant more time under Dominic’s critical gaze.

“Thank you, Mom. I won’t let you down.”

As I left the bridge, Dominic’s voice followed me: “We’ll see about that, won’t we?”

I clenched my fists, quickening my pace back to my quarters. The familiar anger bubbled up inside me, but I pushed it down. I couldn’t afford to let it show, not when I was finally getting a chance to prove myself.

Back in our living space, I found Raphael dishing out the stew while Ana and Jukia set the table.

“Everything all right?” Raph asked. He wasn’t concerned, just curious.

I forced a smile. “Fine. Just more work to do. I’ll eat later — got to get started on this report for Mom.”

Ana frowned. “Sky, you need to eat. And sleep, for that matter. You can’t keep pushing yourself like this.” She was one to talk, as thin as a rail and almost sallow from lack of sunlight and good sleep.

“I’m fine,” I insisted, already pulling up the duonet on my datapad. “I’ll grab something else later. You take mine.” I made eye contact with Jukia and she nodded. Getting Ana to eat was more important.

As I dove into the complex web of trade routes and resource reports, a part of me wondered if this was really the future I wanted. But I pushed the doubt aside. I had responsibilities, expectations to meet. And maybe, just maybe, if I worked hard enough, I could turn this prison of a ship into something that truly felt like home.

Hours ticked by as I pored over the data, cross-referencing market trends with our current inventory. My eyes burned, and my back ached from hunching over the datapad, but I pressed on. This report had to be perfect.

It was well past midnight when I felt a small hand on my arm. I looked up, startled to see Nolan standing there, his stuffed alien clutched to his chest. He had a habit of climbing out of his crib and wandering the ship.

I set aside my work, opening my arms to him. He crawled into my lap, and I held him close, breathing in the familiar scent of his hair. At two, he didn’t have much of a vocabulary, and with so many older siblings, he was the quiet one.

“Want to talk about it?” I asked softly.

He shook his head, burying his face in my shoulder. I began to hum and gently rock him side to side. No real melody. He liked to listen to me breathe.

As Nolan’s breathing evened out, I found myself blinking back tears.

I was exhausted and mothering my siblings was taking every last micron of energy I had.

I might be trapped on this ship for now, but I’d find a way out. And when I did, I would do things my way. No more lies. No more living up to expectations. I’d play by their rules for now, learn everything I could about the family business. But I was going to be a kick ass pilot. It would take time, but I’d find a way to break free.

I glanced at the clock, 0530. Just enough time to clean up and deliver the report to Mom before she woke up.

As I stretched, working out the kinks in my back, I caught sight of my reflection in the mirror on my wall. My hair was a mess, dark circles shadowed my eyes, but there was a fire there too.

A determination that no amount of criticism or late nights could extinguish.

It’s too bad I didn’t run away right then.