An Unforgiving Desert – Chapter 14

I live through my entire life in my dreams.

I’m a toddler, learning to walk in the halls of Mom’s ship. I’m eating in the family dining room, and a tooth falls out when I bite into an apple. My older brother, Raphael, locks me in a supply closet for two hours. He’s grounded for an entire week. I fake a headache, so I don’t have to go to my second cousin’s birthday party, and I stay in my room and read my favorite novel series. I have sex with the most gorgeous man on Laguna and leave him in the middle of the night before he can find out I have more brains than sense. I’m flying the Amagi with Vivian by my side, and we’re trying to outrun a military frigate.

I must have fallen into a deep sleep under the parachute because that particular memory startles me awake. I flinch, and my hand in Kalvin’s jerks him to consciousness, too. Oh man, I feel like I’m hungover and still so tired I could sleep for a hundred years.

But for the first time in hours, I’m not sweating my butt off. Shade has fallen over the crest of the dune, bathing us in cool shadows.

“Sorry,” I whisper to Kalvin. “Weird dreams.”

“Same. I fell into the sleep of the dead.”

“What time do you think it is, local?”

“Hold on.” He lets go of my hand to sit up and groan before pulling the datapad from his bag. It’s a dumb datapad at this point, with no duonet access and no way to broadcast, but its clock is running. I tip over my wristlet, and I still get nothing but a gray screen with the text ‘No Connection’ displayed across it. I don’t know why I keep checking. It’s not like we’ve run across an access point anywhere along the way. Wishful thinking, Skylar.

“Fifteen-forty. If we get up and start walking now, we may make it far enough to see the rocks.”

“Your voice sounds hopeful, but no. I think we’re another day away from that.” I hate to break it to him because his face falls. “Then we rest for a few hours, eat, sleep, and finish the trek in the night, right?”

“Right.”

I’m beginning to like this idea. Trekking across the desert during the day sucks big, fat donkey balls. This is a vacation spot I do not recommend. One-star.

“Okay.” I try to clear my throat, but my mouth is so dry my tongue feels like paper.

“We made excellent progress today. I think we can make it to the rocks with this new plan.”

I don’t like the way he stresses ‘think,’ so I turn to assess him.

He looks more frazzled than I thought he’d be. All the times I saw him in flight school, he was the picture of health. He ate well and often, and I even observed him in the gym multiple times when I was walking on the treadmill. Not that I was watching him or anything. He was an ass to me back then, so I had to know where he was to keep my distance.

This is not the Kalvin I’ve come to know over the past few months.

“Hey,” I say, reaching over to squeeze his arm, “are you okay? You look… not right.”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

He says it, but I don’t believe him. He’s squinting, and his eyes are watering. Not good when we’re supposed to keep water in our body. His breathing is more rapid than I would like, too. I run through all the medical knowledge I’ve gleaned over the years in that far-back compartment of my brain. Medicine is boring, as far as I’m concerned. It’s right up there with computer programming, which is why I have Carlos on staff for all the AI and programming work on the Amagi.

He’s going to be pissed at me if I don’t make it out of this alive.

I sigh and keep it mostly to myself. All I can think of is the amount of work I need to do when I’m finally out of this situation. I can’t even contemplate dying in this godforsaken place.

“Are your eyes bothering you?”

He smiles at me. “Don’t worry about it, princess. I can take care of myself.”

That’s not the answer I was looking for.

Unfortunately, I can’t diagnose Kalvin unless he talks to me about what’s going on with him.

I keep quiet as we pack up to leave our resting spot. I’m dreading walking for hours again. My feet already hurt, and I know I’m dehydrated. Still, getting to shelter is our number one priority. I’m going to complain about this for sure, but I’m going to do it in my head, so Kalvin doesn’t kick me down a dune.

This sucks. I hate sand. I hate the heat.

I hate everything.

After another four hours of walking, my brain becomes fuzzy, like five-day-old moldy bread. My legs are weak and wobbly, and my lips are parched. Kalvin and I have barely spoken because we know talking lets out precious moisture we should keep in. But sometimes he reaches back to me, and I take his hand, and we walk single file.

Holding hands is such a novel thing, isn’t it? It’s a lot more romantic than I ever am, and I’m not even sure if it’s romance in this situation. It’s just different.

You know, usually, I find a guy I’m interested in, I flirt with him, we have a few drinks, and then I lure him to bed so I can let off some steam. Then I never see him again.

It’s my way.

This whole platonic thing with a guy who hated me not twenty-four hours ago is really fucking strange. Like, is this normal? Is this how most people form relationships? I have no idea. I’ve never had a relationship with a guy last more than one night.

Okay, maybe two nights when the sex was fantastic. But that’s my limit.

“Hey, Skylar, is that… is that it?” Kalvin points out into the distance for a moment before doubling-over with his hands on his knees.

“Kalvin!” I rush forward but stop when he holds out his hand. He’s breathing heavily and clutching at his chest with one hand. I drop the backpack on the sand and fish out our second to last water bottle.

“Here. Drink.”

He groans as he rights himself and takes the bottle from my hand.

“Sorry. It’s just…” He sips a few times. “My heart. I have a… thing with it.”

“A thing?”

He nods. “I don’t want to get into it, but yeah. I’m just… the heat and…”

“And you’re dehydrated and tired and worried. I get it.”

Dehydration makes the heart work extra hard, and if he has an arrhythmia or a murmur or something? I don’t want to think about how he must be feeling right now, but I have to. He breathes out a deep breath, trying to catch air in his lungs and keep it there. Hard to do when it’s so fucking hot outside. It may be a bit cooler, but it’s still like we’ve been walking in an oven for hours.

Even I’m getting loopy and irritated, and I can take a lot of shit. If he feels as poorly as he looks, then this has to be extra hard on him.

I step up to him, flip his hand over, and press my fingers to the inside of his wrist. Oh no. His heartbeat is all over the place, racing and skipping beats.

“Sit down and rest.” I use my pilot’s commanding voice, which no one can disobey. I only employ it when I really need something done.

“Wait.” He grabs my arm. “Do you see the rocks?” He points out into the distance. “I thought I saw them.”

I help to lower him to the ground and turn to stare in the direction he was looking.

But no. I see nothing except some large carrion birds circling in the far distance. That’s not a good sign, so I keep it to myself. I swivel and look left and right, but it’s only sand as far as the horizon.

“No,” I say, plopping down next to him. “I don’t see the rocks. It was probably a mirage because you’re so tired.”

He hands the compass to me. “We’ve been going in the right direction, and I figure we’ve covered about twenty-five to thirty kilometers today.”

“Maybe? I don’t know, Kalvin. It’s been slow walking. I figure we may have been walking about four to four and a half kilometers per hour? Times five hours this morning and four hours this afternoon? Yeah. We may have walked twenty-five to thirty kilometers, but I doubt it. We still have another forty or more to go. We probably can’t see them yet.”

Kalvin draws up his knees and rests his head on them.

“This desert is unrelenting,” he murmurs.

“Unforgiving is how I’ve heard it described. If it’s any consolation, I think we’ve survived longer than most people who get stranded here.”

He’s quiet for a moment. “No, that’s no consolation.”

“Sorry,” I mutter as I sit down next to him. “I suck at the whole nurturing thing. I’m like the queen of pep talks and baseball-bat beat downs. I don’t really kiss boo-boos and make them better.” Though I did hold Nolan when he couldn’t sleep. Most of the time, begrudgingly. I have a few memories of both my mom and dad caring for me, back when I was really little and a cherished first daughter. I don’t know why I was spared the caring gene. I hope my kids will forgive me someday.

Kalvin huffs out a tired laugh. “If anything, I’m the nurturing one.”

Looking at his squinted eyes and sloped shoulders, I decide he needs a bit of cheering up. I am the queen of pep talks, after all.

“Look, we’re going to survive this. I’m sure of it. I have too much fucking stuff to do to be killed by a fucking desert after Cressida stole the ship I was on.” I shake my head. “That does not happen without the universe rightly correcting itself.” I put my hand on his upper shoulder. “And you’re too strong and stubborn to give up. I know you worked hard to make it through flight school. You did an outstanding job on the final exam. Damian was happy with your work. And it didn’t escape my notice that you were always right near the top of the standings. Always taking extra time in the sims. Always studying on your breaks.”

He raises his head and smirks at me. “You noticed me?”

His smile lifts my spirits, so I will not ruin this moment to inform him I notice everyone. That’s my job. My job has always been to walk into a room and assess everyone in it at first glance. This is how I survived the last twenty years. I learned how to read people so that I wouldn’t get screwed. And for what it’s worth, my initial summation of Kalvin was a little off. I could tell right away that he was smart and confident, but I also pegged him for a macho asshole because that’s what he wanted me to see.

Now, I understand what lies behind the bluster and bravado.

My returning nod is solemn. “I noticed you.”

I avoided him because he was putting up a front. He wanted people to admire him, and I guess I can’t really blame him. I want people to respect me too. That’s how I make connections and foster relationships that will be a benefit to us all.

He sips the water a few more times. “I think I can keep going now. It’s almost sunset, no?”

I stand up and face the setting sun. Putting my hand out in front of me and aligning my stacked fingers with the bottom of the horizon, I use a technique at learned at far-school. Count the fingers in increments of fifteen minutes on from the horizon to the sun. It’s not accurate, but it’s close enough.

“Over an hour away. Want to wait until dusk to get moving again?”

I look down at him, and he squints back up at me before taking my hand.

“Skylar, I’m sorry again for being an asshole. I… I got the wrong impression of you, and I like you.”

I struggle to keep the smile off my face. “You like me… Well, I guess hell has frozen over then?”

He laughs. “I like you even more now.”

I imagine leaning down and brushing my lips against his, his hands snaking up my waist to my shirt, and… Yeah, as much as I disliked him only a day ago, I could sleep with him and enjoy it. Maybe even more.

I clear my throat. “Let’s get moving now, if you’re up for it.” My voice is a lot more breathy than I’d like. “I’d rather cross as much ground as possible while we still have light. And since the temperature has cooled by about five degrees, we should be able to make it farther before sunset.”

“Okay.” His smile betrays the fact that he knows he got to me. I roll my eyes as I wrap the thin towel around my head again.

Kalvin gets to his feet, and I’m relieved he’s steady, and his shoulders are straight. Maybe he can shake off his earlier fatigue, and his body will cooperate. I’m so glad I’ve never had health problems in my life. I can’t imagine what it would be like to deal with that on top of being stranded.

“Let’s walk in the shade of the dunes again,” Kalvin says, jaunting down the dune we’re sitting on. He gets to the bottom and checks our direction. “This way. Keep the sun to our right. And I’ll check again in twenty to thirty minutes.”

I suck in a quick breath as a flash of dread blows through me like a bitter wind. Uh oh. Not again. My instincts are yelling at me, and I’m not sure why.

I turn to look at the sky in all directions. Am I missing a rescue shuttle?

“Sky? Sky!” Kalvin’s voice rises in alarm.

When I spin around, my stomach falls to my shoes.

Sand is swirling under Kalvin, and in the blink of an eye, he’s already buried up to his knees.

Fuck. It’s quicksand.