An Unexpected Debt – Chapter 16

I make it two blocks before I hop into an autocab.

Fuck Takemo. If he thinks he’s going to steal my life out from under me and then drag my name through the mud on top of that, he’s sorely mistaken. I haven’t even enacted phase two of my war games yet. Once that’s going, then, oh my God, he will be begging for mercy. Begging.

Nobody crosses Skylar Kawabata and gets away with it.

My wristlet pings, and when I turn it over to check who’s calling, it’s Saif. I groan and sink into the plush seat of the autocab. Marcelo must have given him my duonet details. His name flashes on my home screen several times before I swipe away the call.

Fuck it. He wasn’t going to stick around, anyway. They never do.

Honestly, I feel bad for Marcelo. He’s the one who’s going to get the shaft here. Every man I meet will just end up in the discard pile. I’ll keep drawing from the deck, but eventually, I’ll run out of cards.

Anger rises up through my belly and into my chest, and here come the tears I held back earlier. I’m still drunk, but my tolerance for alcohol (and bullshit) is higher than the sky. The topsy-turvy head-spinning has subsided, and now I’m just numb. Numb and angry… and I’m fucking sad for myself. Why does this keep happening to me, over and over? Am I cursed? Is this my destiny? Am I fighting a war that I’ll never win, both for a happy life and for my mother’s — no, my — business?

This is dumb. I don’t think I have it in me to keep fighting my entire life.

I need peace. I need security.

I need to get laid.

I was going to return to the hotel, but there’s a great love hotel ten blocks away.

I burst into tears as I alter the route of the autocab and send it towards the love hotel. It makes a U-turn at the nearest intersection and zips off.

Cry now, Skylar. Because once you get there, you need to show the staff you’re not in the middle of a mental breakdown. They hate it when people meltdown on their sexbots. There’s nothing worse than having to call a social worker for someone who has lost their mind while having relations with an inanimate object. Well, they’re animated, for sure. Ugh. Let’s face it. Sexbots are a total gray area, and it appears I live in the gray. I’m not black and white. I never have been.

My arrival timer counts down from twenty seconds, so now is an excellent time to clean myself up. I pull down the mirror, wipe off my face, blow my nose, breathe deeply a few times, finger comb my hair, and decide I’m better off acting angry than sad.

That’s right. Skylar is angry, and she’s not going to take this anymore.

The car pulls up outside the love hotel, and my wristlet chimes as it takes my credits. I inhale two more deep breaths, count to ten like always, and leave the car.

The darkened street keeps me in the shadows as I arrive at the door and let myself inside.

Terry looks up from the front desk. Yes, I know everyone who works here.

“Skylar! Good to see you. How have you been?” His eyebrows draw together, taking in my ruffled appearance and red eyes.

“I’ve been better. I just had a horrible date, and I’m looking to blow off some steam.”

His lips jerk in a half-smile. “You’ve come to the right place, then. I have Andrew and Thomas available if you’re still into the men. Couldn’t blame you if the horrible date turned you off my fair sex.”

I roll my eyes at him. “Yes, it was bad, but not that bad. I’ll take Andrew.”

He points to the screen that lights up in front of me.

I freeze in place, my finger hovering over the menu.

“Do you ever really know what you want, Skylar Kawabata? Or is it five items on a menu and fifteen minutes of bliss?”

I draw in my breath and hold it. I knew when he’d said that it sounded awfully personal and wrong. Just wrong. And he was sorry when I questioned him about it.

Oh no. The world recedes away from me. My hearing rings, and I have to push my lungs to draw air again. Takemo knows, doesn’t he?

He knows.

I think I’m going to be sick.

“Hey, Terry,” I say, stepping to the window.

My knees and hands shake; I have to grab the counter to stay upright. Terry looks up from his datapad.

“Who owns this place?” I ask.

He blinks a few times while he considers my question. I’m sure it’s public record, though.

“Azid Entertainment. They own love hotels all over the Duo Systems.” He shrugs. “Supposedly, it’s big business.”

Azid. Diaz. Yeah, Takemo knows.

“Skylar.”

My stomach drops to my toes at the sound of Saif’s voice. I close my eyes, curse myself, the world, the universe, and turn slowly to face him.

The disappointment in his expression is so strong, it’s like another person standing between us, wagging his finger and admonishing me for being so weak.

Terry leans forward over the desk to get his eyes on Saif. “Uh oh. Is this the bad date? Do I need to call the social workers?”

I shake my head. “Cancel my order, okay?” I whisper to him.

Saif and I stare at each other for a long moment. His tie is loose now, and his jacket is unbuttoned. His Bollywood-style hair looks even better, all tousled and wind-swept. He scans the front lobby and takes everything in, from the wallscreens featuring all the sexbot models from Andrew to Zachary and Anne to Zoey. There are non-binary models for those who need that, too. There’s something for everyone here. Even me.

I sniff up my tears and lift my chin. “I’m not ashamed,” I say to Saif.

Oh, I’m deeply ashamed. To my core. But I will never admit it. Never.

“No,” he says with a sigh. He comes forward and gently takes my hand. “I don’t expect you to be.”

That’s almost more disappointing. I’m a predictable mess to someone who hasn’t even seen me in the last ten years.

“Sorry,” I mumble, and my lips trip over the word. I whisper, “I didn’t mean to run.”

“Fight or flight,” he says, placing his other hand on my lower back and directing me to the door. “You can’t always throw the punches. Come on. Let me get you out of here.”

“Where are we going?” I look up at him, and I realize my eyes are watery with tears. I can’t hold them back any longer.

“I know the perfect place.”

—-

I hem and haw over my decision for a full five minutes while we wait in line.

“Hmmm, I don’t know. This is a tough one.” I bite my lip and peer into the refrigerated case until finally, I’m sure. “Okay. I would like a scoop of the chocolate hazelnut crunch and another of the salted caramel, please.”

I watch the young man scoop the ice cream, his powerful forearms flexing as he fills my cup overflowing. Oh yeah, that’s almost erotic, that is. Hello.

I take a deep breath, tilt back my head, and sigh. I should have gotten laid instead of getting ice cream.

“Here you go,” the young man says, handing the cup over the counter.

I bring my attention back to the present. “Thanks.”

Saif already has his ice cream and sits at a table outside on the sidewalk. The weather is warm, and the night is quiet. Only a few people saunter through the neighborhood, and someone walks past with their dog, a little schnauzer, her nose to the ground. I’m enamored by the green moss and ivy-covered buildings and the stream burbling between the sidewalk and a park one block away. Concord City is such a lovely place, full of old-world charm and high-tech conveniences. It’s a place I could be happy.

I slide into the seat across from Saif and cross my ankles under the table.

“I don’t think you know this,” Saif says around his spoon, “but ice cream solves pretty much every problem.”

I dip my spoon into the chocolate hazelnut crunch and pull up a hefty portion.

“If I let ice cream solve all my problems, I’d be as big as a whale.”

Letting the ice cream melt across my tongue, I hum and close my eyes. Oh God, that’s good. Really, really good.

“This is delicious,” I say, scooping up another mouthful.

“It’s the best in this neighborhood,” he says, leaning forward and peering down the street. I turn to see what he’s looking at and find a Bhaat Jewelers on the corner, locked up for the night.

I jerk my thumb over my shoulder at it. “I guess you’ve been here before.”

“Many times. It’s conveniently located close to my gym as well.”

I burst into a chuckle. “True convenience. Burn the calories, eat the calories.” I twirl my finger in a circle. “The circle of life.”

We eat ice cream for a moment longer, and I wonder how long I can keep this up. This life of mine. It’s fucked up, and I know it. Everyone knows it. If my own mother wasn’t willing to tell me about her loss of the ships or come to me about it in the first place, then even she knows my life is a waste.

“So, sexbots, huh?” Saif says, setting his empty cup down and wiping his hands with a napkin.

“Jesus, you inhaled that. I’m barely a quarter of the way through.”

He raises both hands. “As you said, circle of life. Don’t change the subject.”

“It’s none of your business,” I say lightly. I wave my finger back and forth between us. “We are not in a relationship. I do not owe you anything.”

Saif leans forward and makes eye contact with me. “I’m here, aren’t I?” He clears his throat and sits back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. “Real talk time, Skylar. There isn’t a day that hasn’t gone by in the last ten years where I’ve wondered where you are or what you’re doing, but I was never sure how to make that call, how to pick up where we left off. When I saw the news stories about your cousin and how you were flying the Amagi, it was like a dose of sunshine on a cloudy day. I followed everything I could about it. I saw you in the photos at the auction, and I just knew I would see you again.”

My heart is beating so hard, I can feel my pulse in my temples. Even my vision throbs with every beat.

“How…” I have to stop to find my voice. It got up and walked away. “How did you contact Marcelo?” I ask, sticking my spoon into my ice cream and leaving it there.

“That was easy. I saw he was working on your cousin’s behalf. I thought he might handle your network next. I contacted him months ago before you were out of school. Before you were marooned.”

The emotion in his voice knocks me back. He cares genuinely. His voice is filled with equal parts anger and anguish.

“You know about that?” I ask.

“It wasn’t hard to figure out it was you.” He taps on the table with his index finger. “I am here because I want to be. Nothing about this evening has changed why I’m here.”

I swallow, unused to this kind of devotion and passion from a man. Sure, there have been a million one-night stands from guys who exuded confidence, but this? I’ve never seen this kind of emotion directed at me.

“It was my cat,” I blurt out. I sigh and close my eyes. My brain often bypasses my good sense and goes for something more hurtful to talk about.

Saif blinks a few times. “That’s an intriguing non sequitur.” He sweeps his hand out. “Please, continue.”

I pick my ice cream up again, relieved I have something to concentrate on other than him. I choose to indulge in the salted caramel now.

“You asked why I was upset at my last far-school trip. My cat, Whiskers.” I sigh as I peer into the ice cream cup like it’s tea leaves that will tell me the future. “Look, if I tell you this, it’s going to wholly change how you feel about me.”

“I have seen a lot today, Skylar,” he says, a note of weariness to his words. “You might as well be completely honest with me.”

“You want complete honesty?”

“That’s why I’m here,” he reminds me.

“Because I am not this independent, kick-ass woman you told Marcelo you wanted.”

He lifts his eyebrows.

“Fair enough.” I clear my throat. “So, I had this cat, growing up. Whiskers. And I loved him to death. He would sleep on my bed and follow me around constantly. He was the only thing in my life that was truly mine because I wanted him to be there. He gave me the unconditional love that no one else did. But every time I left, the dads would have to take care of him. Like, the most basic of stuff.” I roll my eyes.

“Feed him, change the litter?” Saif fills in.

“Right. Nothing awful. Sometimes Ana would do it for me if she felt okay, but often, she did not. Jukia would fill in too if she was around, but… Anyway, when I was leaving for that last far-school trip, the only adult who could take me was Dominic. And he was pissed I was leaving again because it meant he’d have to help Jukia with school. So, he crated up Whiskers and brought him with us on the shuttle. When I asked why Whiskers was coming with us, Dom said it was time for Whiskers to live on a planet instead of a ship. I begged to keep him, but Dom was Dom. Any way he could find to hurt me, he would. Any way he could punish me was fair game. So, I lost my cat, not but a few hours before going to far-school for the last time.” I shrug. “I never saw him again.”

Saif breathes slowly, his eyebrows pulled together. “Wait. Who takes someone’s, some sixteen-year-old girl’s, cat away from them?”

I shrug again, but fiery rage bubbles up, replacing my overwhelming sadness.

“I remember that Juan and Miguel had been arguing with him before he did it. My father was already gone by then, or he would have argued too. I could hear their raised voices from the other room. But no one ever stood up to Dom because why the fuck would they? The dads had an awesome thing going. They didn’t have to do shit because I did it all. They weren’t cruel like Dominic was, but they let it happen all the same.”

Saif’s mouth is open in an O.

My mouth is a runaway train now, and every word, every sentence, is searing, red hot.

“You never saw me outside of far-school because I wasn’t allowed out. All I was allowed to do was to stay on the ship and be a good girl and take care of everyone because that was my job. I fucking suffered, and slaved, and was taken advantage of, over and over, for my entire fucking childhood. And then they convinced my mom that I was just some spoiled brat who never deserved the business to begin with. So why bother saving it for me?”

My chest rises and falls with heavy breaths, and my scalp is burning up.

“So, I fuck sexbots because they don’t take advantage, they don’t tell me what to do, and they don’t care that I’m fucked up beyond all belief about men. Men who take and take and take, and leave me with nothing. Nothing.”

I stand up and chuck the last of my ice cream in the nearby garbage can. “Fuck this,” I spit out.

“I fucking hate everything about my life. Everything,” I growl under my breath.

I stalk away but then immediately stalk back.

“Dominic wants me to pay back my tuition. He wants his life back? He can go space himself. I’m sick of his shit. Sick of my brothers whining to me for money. Sick of Ana’s relapses. Sick of Jukia’s laissez-faire attitude. Sick. Of. It. All.”

My stalking turns to pacing the sidewalk next to Saif, over and over, until my heated anger runs out. When I finally stop, I’m drained. So tired I could fall over dead.

Saif stands up, gently takes my face in his hands, and leans down to kiss me.

I almost pull away, but instead, the moment freezes, and time grinds to a halt.

In general, I don’t kiss. I don’t let the sexbots kiss me, and when I’ve slept with other men, I haven’t let them kiss me either. But I kissed Kalvin because I felt… something for him. And this is Saif. I’ve wanted to kiss him for years.

Maybe I can start kissing again.

His lips meet mine, and I melt into him. I draw a deep breath through my nose and let him take the lead. His lips are practiced and strong as he pulls me close and tilts my head to the side. I open my mouth to him and let his kiss claim me. My knees weaken, and the contact with him reignites a different heat this time. Desire and need flow down my body, spreading out, replacing the anger with lust and longing. He nips my lower lip before pulling away, and I gasp for air.

Our breathing is labored and out of sync, but slowly, they meet across the divide.

He rests his forehead against mine. “There,” he whispers. “I hope that was something, not nothing.”

He takes my face in his hands again and pulls away to look at me. “You okay?”

I nod, even though I can barely stand.

“Better now?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I am,” I say. “Thanks.”

“Good.” He turns and pulls me to his side by my waist. “We’ll get an autocab, and I’m going to take you to your hotel, and then I’m going back to my place.” He leans over and kisses my temple. “And we’ll pick this up again soon. I promise.”

As we walk towards the main street, I realize I believe him. When Saif makes a promise, he keeps it.