A Fortunate Accident – Chapter 16

We run back to my suite as the sky opens with a thundering downpour. I take the lead, and Saif is right behind me all the way into the double-door entryway. The two barriers to my living space help keep out any Rio wildlife, but they’re a pain in the ass when two people are trying to get out of the rain. I lightly leap over the second door’s threshold while Saif drops his stuff inside the first door. I frown at the water I’ve tracked in before I shuck off my boots and throw them into the vestibule.

“What’s going on here?” Kalvin asks, standing up from the couch. He’s been reading and hanging out all evening while I was drinking with India Dellis.

“Sorry to just show up like this,” Saif says, running his fingers through his wet hair and stepping over the threshold behind me. “It took forever to signal to Luca since you were on the move. I’ve been at the gemstone mine for three days.”

I glance at Kalvin, and I remember his words.

I have to win this.

But how do I do that?

“What are you even doing here?” I ask, throwing my hand out to the side. “I didn’t think you were going to come after what happened at your parents’ place.”

The shame of his humiliating treatment burns my cheeks again. Sejal’s pitying eyes will be stuck with me forever. I force the images away. No.

“You got my message, right?” He nods at Kalvin. “Hey, Kalvin.”

“Saif,” Kalvin says. “Glad you made it in okay.”

Shit. I never responded to him. “Yes. Sorry. I got your message. We left before I could reply, and then it took a while for the data access point to get up and running. I’m not allowed to wear my wristlet while I’m testing the plants either, so that’s eight hours a day when I’m unavailable.”

I sit down on the edge of the bed and wait for his explanation.

Saif grabs a chair and sits across from me. “I understand. I was a complete asshole. I don’t know why I did it. It was like this deep, primal stirring of jealousy in my chest, and I… I lost sight of what was important. I think I wanted to punish you for making decisions without me. For, uh,” he glances at Kalvin, “moving forward so quickly with your network. I was wrong.”

“We were wrong,” Kalvin stresses. “I stepped in without giving a thought to what was going on in your life. I made things worse.”

Kalvin already apologized to me, but hearing him admit it to Saif warms my cold, dead heart.

“Kalvin is not to blame.” Saif’s expression is serious, something I rarely see. “I… There were a lot of things going on at once, our relationship, the Amagi. But after giving it some thought and talking it over with Sejal, I realized my insecurities need to be set aside. I need to learn to be a better partner in a network.”

In my head, I can hear Sejal telling him this. Did he really listen?

“Hell, with everything going on, you’re just trying to get by.” He shrugs. “Your ship is your livelihood, and taking that away would be devastating. You’re just doing the best you can. The universe has given you a pretty serious handicap, Skylar. I don’t want to add to it.”

He puts the chair aside, crosses the suite to the table with chairs, and sets a bag down on top of it. “Come sit, both of you,” he says, gesturing to the table. “We need to work some things out.”

Kalvin smiles sadly, approaches me, and puts out his hand. “I remember what we talked about in the desert, about the expectations of your family, the stress you’ve always been under.” I slip my fingers into his and let him pull me to my feet. “You saved my life out there. We can work this out.”

I sit down at the table as Saif empties his bag of goodies — orange fizzy soda, butter biscuits, a box of chocolates, and an assortment of nuts. “Sorry about the random food. I grabbed what I could before I left.” He falls into his chair with a sigh.

When I stretch out my hand to grab the biscuits, I notice I’m not glowing as much anymore. It seems to be wearing off. I turn my hand over and look at it on both sides, wondering how long I can stall and delay the inevitable.

Saif opens the package of butter biscuits. “Here.” He pushes it across the table to me. I ignore it as I pull my hands to my lap.

Silence blankets the table for long enough that I sigh.

I don’t know how to win people over. I haven’t had enough practice in this area of my life. With my cloistered youth and brash early adulthood, I never learned how to make people adore me. That’s a skill that’s honed over time and many thousands of little interactions. That’s not me.

I can only be me.

I pick up my chin. Be brave, Skylar.

“Let’s be honest here, okay? We don’t have to do this. We will all be totally fine on our own. Saif, you’re wealthy and sought after. You’d find someone better in a heartbeat. Kalvin, you’re an ace pilot, and any ship would be grateful to have you. Me? No one who cares ever sticks around, so it’s not like I expect you to, either. I’m good for nothing but a quick fuck and a see-you-later, and that’s about it. You are not getting anything special by coming after me. Just a whole lot of trouble, okay? So tomorrow, you can both turn around and go back to the safety of the city and leave me to figure out this mess alone.”

There, I said it. I put the truth on the table. All of it is true. Every word.

“Skylar, I’m not leaving,” Kalvin says.

I make eye contact with Saif and say, “I’m sorry. Really sorry. I tried. I told you I wasn’t going to run from you, and I held on as long as I could. But I never expected to be treated that way by you.” I deflate. “And I just won’t stand for that anymore.”

His face is grim, so I turn to Kalvin. “You should go. We’ll all be much better off without each other. And bonus, you won’t have to deal with my crappy family coming after you too for everything you have. If you hitch your ride to my star, you’ll only be pulled into their lawsuit, eventually.”

“I’ve got nothing.” Kalvin shrugs and drinks from the soda bottle.

I press my lips together.

“You’re right,” Saif says, breaking into the conversation. “I treated you poorly. You didn’t deserve that. I hate myself for it because you put your trust in me, and I fucked it up. You saw I was struggling and thought a trip to see my family would help me. Instead, I turned it into a humiliating experience for both of us.”

Usually, Saif is the picture of health with bright eyes and glowing, rich sandy brown skin. But he’s subdued sitting here, his eyes dull and his skin a pale gray.

“Oh yeah?” I ask, crossing my arms over my chest. “How was it humiliating for you?”

He rolls his neck side to side, stretching it out, weary after days on the move. “Sejal and my mother yelled at me for hours after you left… in several languages. And I am not welcome at home until I get my shit together.”

Saif is super close to his family, so this is shocking news. I can understand my own family forgetting about me, though not Vivian, obviously. But a family as tight as the Bhaats? That’s unthinkable.

“So I’m here, and I’m hoping we can start over. Because despite my behavior the other day, everything I’ve ever said to you holds true. I want to be here with you.”

“Me too.” Kalvin pushes the butter biscuits at me again. “I did nothing but think of you for all those weeks we were apart, and it’s been quite the adventure being here with you. I don’t want it to end.”

His wry smile does nothing to defrost my chilly attitude.

“Really? Looking to run for your life every day?” I say with a huff of a laugh. I shift my shoulders, aware of my injuries. They itch, so I hope they heal soon. “I don’t know. I’m sick of being manipulated by men, and I’m tired of being hurt over and over by the people I love and trust.” I press my hand to my lips, unable to believe I’ve said that out loud. Usually, I pretend I don’t care and tell everyone to fuck off. My little eight-year-old self would be disappointed in me right now.

“How can I even trust you again?” I ask Saif. I close my eyes and remember us in bed together. He held me, even though I never let men do that. He treated me like I was deserving of love. Then the scene in his parents’ garden plays out in my memories again, and I gasp.

I jolt out of my head as I feel his fingers on mine. “I’m going to show you that you can trust me again. What I did was a horrible mistake. If you really don’t want me in your life, I’ll leave, but if there’s even a glimmer of a chance we can repair this, then I’m staying.”

I look at Kalvin, and he nods.

I guess this is a win.

“Fine. But I have to warn you that I’ve heard all of this before. Lots of promises that never come true. You’ll only get this one chance, and that’s it. I will not be a doormat.”

Saif winces. “You should never, ever feel that way. I promise things will be different.”

“I’ve heard that before, too,” I grumble, getting to my feet.

When I glance over at them, they’re both frowning. “Sorry. It’s been a long day, and I’m still healing from being attacked by starbats and almost trampled by a family of spiderphants.”

“Starbats, and what now? What happened?” Saif asks, alarm growing in his eyes. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I’m just a little scratched up.”

Kalvin stands up and comes to me. “Her back took a heavy hitting yesterday, but she’ll be okay.” He runs his hand down my arm. I shiver from the contact, and if Saif notices, he doesn’t mention it.

I close my eyes. I should tell them to leave and never come back. That would be the sensible thing to do. I could really give Mom the shove off by denying her heirs from her first daughter. I could swear off relationships and tell the universe I’m going celibate because of childhood trauma. That would be a great way to end my life and career.

Or I could let them stay and open myself back up to love and acceptance. My belly churns with anxiety about this, but it’s probably my best bet for a long and happy life.

No relationship is perfect, right? We’re bound to hit some snags along the way, make some wrong decisions, say the wrong things. That’s how it’s supposed to work, I think. At least, I’ve seen this in fiction, certainly not from my family. I should give Saif and Kalvin this chance. I developed a shaky truce with Takemo. Why not them?

“We’ll start over again tomorrow, then,” I say, and Saif melts with relief. “Kalvin, will you make sure Saif has a place to stay?” I lift my chin, daring Saif to challenge me for a spot in my bed and intrude on my space this early in our makeup process.

“Uh, sure.” Kalvin nods to Saif. “We’ll go speak to someone about getting him a bunk.”

I say nothing as they suit back up to return to the rain outside.

But Saif turns around at the double door and nods to me. “I’ll see you in the morning. Sleep well, Sky.”

Kalvin salutes. “I’ll be back, gorgeous.”

The door closes on them, and I stand in my room, not sure what just happened.

Saif is back, and I kissed Takemo today. Kalvin will be here at any moment. I went from not trusting men to having three of them in my close circle instantly.

What the heck is going on with my love life?

Hell if I know.

But I can’t just let it happen to me. If I want the same kind of life Vivian has, then I have to do something about it.

Starting with the sleeping arrangements.