In Desperate Need Of A Vacation

S. J. Pajonas October 16, 2012
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A trip away.

Every year at this time, I’m on pins and needles waiting for time away. As a stay at home mom and a writer, I have very little free time. I fill up any open spaces in my day with exercising or cleaning or doing other random chores. Every now and again, I treat myself to some TV time with knitting, but that’s rare nowadays. There’s always something to do. I progressively get on edge, finding very little in the way of much-needed patience or sanity, until suddenly mid-October hits and I’m ready to run for the hills. Thankfully this is a planned occurrence each year!

This weekend is the NY Sheep and Wool festival and, like every year for the past 7 in a row, I’ll be traveling up to Rhinebeck, NY for some much needed respite, eating, drinking, and wool squishing. Last year, I stayed with a great group of women in a beautiful house. I didn’t know them all but since then they have all become good friends. This year, my close friends and I are renting a house together and going up Friday through Sunday. I cannot wait! The countdown ticks away and I tap my foot anxiously through each moment.

But even when my body goes on vacation seldom does my brain. I’ve been in my head a lot lately, preparing to write Book 2.5. As I told my friend Skylar the other day, I have been FEELING ALL THE FEELINGS. I’ve been living in Jiro’s head the past few weeks and the things I’m seeing and feeling are tough. If anything, he’s more emotional than Sanaa. He carries things deep inside him that she would have let go of ages ago. He’s deeply resentful, blaming himself and his family for his planned future that scares him more than anything. He’s been lied to, dumped on, and ordered around, yet he cannot give up his family or destiny. Rock, meet Hard Place. Poor Jiro.

I’ve been right there with him, taking notes, making outlines, deciding his fate even though it’s already written. It’s intense and consuming. I’ve found myself staring into space and not living in the present. I’ve been distant. How does one get out of their head when stuck in this brainstorming mode?

I hope a little weekend of chit-chat, cooking, walking, driving, and knitting with friends tones down my brain. I could use it.


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Category: Personal
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